Keep God to Yourself

"I interviewed a very talented, intelligent woman this morning. We had a great conversation and I thought she'd be a good fit. She answered every question thoroughly and seemed to be genuinely interested in working here. Well, she had another interview scheduled with a different administrator directly after our interview and that's where things went wrong. After the second interview, the administrator immediately came to my office to debrief about the interviews. Before I could say anything, she started telling me how wacky and weird the candidate was. I was completely thrown off because I had just met her and thought she was great. She says the interview started out well enough but the candidate got too comfortable. It turns out that the candidate mentioned God in one of her responses. She said something like, "I really believe that God has brought me to this particular postion because of xyz." Now, to you and me, that probably isn't too bad. However, to my colleague, it indicated that the candidate was a Jesus freak and way too "out there" to work at a place like ours. Now, if it matters, my colleague is a white, lesbian and atheist. The candidate was a young, black, Christian (I assume). So, I say all of that to say, unless you are interviewing at a religious institution, check your God talk at the door. This young lady will miss out on a great opportunity because she misjudged her audience. Maybe it's not fair but it's the way of the world."

Thoughts?

Why is it that Black urban professionals get money and then become Republicans?

I've been trying to explain this to folks for about a year now, but after talking with more and more people I think i've developed three very good reasons. Check them out below.

1) Taxes
"The federal tax code is dysfunctional. It penalizes hard work, marriage, thrift, and success — the very factors that are the foundations for lasting prosperity." - GOP Platform 2000

If you take issue with this statement, you must be broke. I can see all arguments for why I will benefit from the programs that my taxes go to pay, however, wouldn't it be better if I put money into a fund that actually benefited my demographic. The percentage of programs that benefit the wealthy versus the poor are completely skewed. Meaning, the people who put the most money into the system get the least out of it. And do NOT give me that argument about its for the less fortunate, because to me that says that taxes are now forced charitable contributions. BuLLSH*T. And if that's the case that they are forcing my charitable contributions, then i'd like a line item approach to federal programs, because I can tell you right now, there's a few that I do not want my money going to.

To be perfectly honest with the American people, taxes are a means of income for the United States of America. Let's be real. So my government is supposed to take care of me, but it takes from me so it can survive before I can survive? Good job, Sammy boy. You can keep trying to bamboozle the rest of these fools.

2) Conservativism
Most Buppies will not get to wealth by engaging in liberal careers. Most, some will, but most will not. The majority will end up in Professional Services of some sort; financial services, consulting services, or some service based industry. Others will gain wealth in a sales industry, but that's few and far between. Others will gain wealth by owning their own businesses. However, at some point they will realize that sound decisions are not made radically, but with a tone of conservatism. You will find that these successful buppies in America had to travel the road often travelled. They don't reinvent the wheel, they do what they knew would always work. A lot of us would love to major in English and become a writer and make the NY Best Sellers list. In reality, the person who decides to get his MBA and go to Wall Street is more likely to make it rich.

3) The GOP has always been thought of as a party for the wealthy, not the poor. Quite frankly, we isn't poor, no more.
This is my favorite point. The Democratic party for which we have hung our hat on for so long is that of our parents. It's not ours. We feel differently now. We have different needs and desires from our party. When I was growing up, people in my community always said, Republican make the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. Well when I was poor, I hated Republicans, once I am rich, i'm all about that strategy because it benefits me. And in recent years you have seen a switch in the Black urban professional. We are no longer fighting to just be low to mid-middle class citizens, we are becoming ridiculously upper-middle class and wealthy. Our fiscal and political needs have changed.

In conclusion, i'm not saying that someone should be Democratic or Republican. I'm writing this article ask that we examine our issues and see if the political party that we usually vote for is actually the one best fit to serve our needs. I'm asking that we look at the individual platforms of each party. Not just prominent figures like Obama and GW Bush, who represent the upper echelon of the parties and not the majority of what either party stands for. It's funny that more and more Black people are aligning themselves with GOP, yes i'll agree to that, but it is not completely unfounded and not based. I think it's more funny that MOST Black people vote Democratically and have no clue why. (I blame their parents). Just my thoughts.

Online Dating

Times are a Changing!!! It seems everyday in my buppie-dom, I hear about someone hooking up or getting married due to an online dating site.


I do not judge others who do chose to E date, I really hesitate when it comes to signing myself up. Number one, I am not trying to pay fees, and Number two, honestly it makes me feel vulnerable. I mean what if I see someone I know on there? What are they going to think of me? I am desperate, right?

WRONG. I signed up and saw millions of people, and oddly enough I saw some familiar faces! And of course when that happened I deleted my account!

E- dating is like the elephant in the room. It is there..just aint no one talking about how they are doing it.

The topic of E-dating lends its self to deeper discussion. Perhaps it is the way things need to be.
You list exactly what you want, and hit search. Wow that's easy.

While, I am not on my edating phase in life, I do respect it. It is RAW! It crossed borders and time zones and completely opens up your possibilities of connecting with that individual.

Often times its hard to find someone on the same page as you. Who is just real and upfront about wants and needs. One person wants to be serious, one person wants to just smash.. E Dating pretty much avoids this conflict, because instead of the coy dating scene of "Real Life" you straight advertise what you are looking for. Looking for Marriage..or Looking for a FWB (friend with benefits). This make such sites an EXCELLENT tool. It makes sense. Pursue a relationship with someone who just as serious as you are, right?

E dating makes you drop the superficial ish at the door. Looks really are not everything. How many people do you meet a day that meet your exact physical requirements and are single? E dating is camera tricks. Just because the person has a cute pic up does that mean they are really cute. This forces one to go beyond skin deep.

E dating helps you get to the point faster. No need to continue dating, or wasted nights with folks who do not peak your interest. On that first meeting you already know if its going to work out. And if it does not work, its an easy out. No hassle. No BS.

Ultimately, whatever dating you chose to do, you have to put yourself of there a bit. E dating makes sense for those looking for specific type of relationships. It forces you to truly look deep and identify what you really want from a mate. 300 questions worth of identification! If anything that part is valuable....

Buppie Gripe: Children in Hair Salons, Spas, ETC.

I enjoy my time away from children more than usual these days because Monday-Friday from 2-8pm I work with them. I love children. I hope to have quite a few some day. HOWEVER, I am not ready for kids and would appreciate if they were not around messing up my ambiance in particular places i.e. THE HAIR SALON! So I am sitting getting my manicure, pedicure, and wash & set when a little boy comes over to me and starts showing me his stickers. Mind you I had my iPod on and this lil 3 year old appears like a ninja out of nowhere talking to me and crap. I am not a complete ASSHOLE so of course I talk to the baby and entertain him. But all the while I am asking myself where is this child's mother. This is my day of rest! I don't want to be entertaining anyone's child! Finally she rolls up to see where he is and finds that he is quite comfortably talking with me as I sit under the dryer getting my feet scrubbed. She then proceeds to walk away and go somewhere else. I wanted to yell "B*TCH get back here and get ya child!" Like seriously I aint no damn babysitter!

I am very kid friendly it seems. This isn't the first time this has happened to me and it really bothers me. If I am trying to enjoy a nice dining experience, movie, or pamper session at the salon please tend to your children. Preferably find a sitter so I do not even have to hear your child's voice in an adult place! Like it is seriously out of control! I feel like Samantha did in that one episode of Sex & the City when she was PISSED because every where she went people had their wining child. Last year I went to a movie with the District's Buppie and a woman had 3 children under the age of 5 in the theater. (Mind you this was not a children's movie!) Years from now when I am a mother I am going to remember this feeling and be considerate of where I decide to take my children.

Is this unreasonable bups???

Reccesion Rock

The recession has hit folks around me and has put me in a totally uncomfortable situation even though I am employed. Those who lost their jobs, have to find another means to feed themselves. This can totally destruct the paths one has set for oneself. After all, buppie, or not, everyone gets accustomed to a certain lifestyle. Anything that leads us astray from it, can make us all hostile.

Everyday, I thank God that I am blessed to be moving along life well. I aint trying to rock the boat, but it crosses my mind frequently what if something happened that took all this away from me? what would I do?

"I am a hustler baby, I sell water to a whale"- Shawn Carter

Intrinsically, I am a go GETTER! I know if something WAS TO HAPPEN I would hit the ground running. But running doing what??? Right now I am walking, and walking slow. Checking out the scenery. Everything is smooth, but not completely satisfactory. It is not hard work, it is habit for me now. I just do things because I am suppose to.

What is funny is, I think it will take me losing everything to begin truly grinding again? Right now I am complacent, when I do not have to be. I cannot find my true passion. I have noticed that with many of my buppie folk, that have been hit with the recession rock have unequivocally found their passion and are working hard towards bringing it to fruition.


Is that the trade off? Lose stability to gain insight and clarity?

Black Tax

Some months ago I saw this local story about Baltimore Mayor Sheila Dixon.
Apparently she has , "12 counts of felony theft, perjury, fraud and misconduct in office, becoming the city's first sitting mayor to be criminally indicted." AND "she also is accused of using as much as $3,400 in gift cards, some donated to her office for distribution to "needy families," to purchase Best Buy electronics and other items for herself and her staff."


It is disappointing to read news about black politicians doing or being accused of wrongdoing.
Kwame Kilpatrick, Ronald Burris were caught up in some mess, Jesse Jackson off handed comments about OBAMA, BILL RICHARDSON(Hispanic/Latino) fake investigation that interfered with his Obama appointment, etc.


What confuses me, is that these GROWN people, who grew up in a time that was way more unwelcoming to their rise to power, become LAX. As if they have forgotten about the BLACK TAX.

BLACK TAX is defined by Urban Dictionary as "The notion that Black people have to work and perform regular task twice as well as White people."

There are just certain realities when it comes down to being a non white person in America. The BLACK TAX is real. It aint going anywhere. Buppie Must do: always follow this rule.

The rule will not always GET you where you want to be, but it will help justify why you are where you are just in case it becomes questionable. I do not know if this is the proper way to think, but I do nonetheless, I think that I am always competing. Everything I do is susceptible to the "Black tax".

Can you relate to the Black Tax? Or am I just tripping?

Daddy Issues

Happy Father's Day! Today this post is directly inspired from the appreciation of having a father in my life and the realization just how important it is.

---

Men like to make this classification women.
MAN: How is the relationship with your Father?
FEMALE: Oh. He is not there.
MAN: UH-OH!

Men need to stop faking though, because they have Daddy issues too.
FEMALE: How is the relationship with your Father?
MALE: All I got is my Mama
FEMALE: UH-OH.


I do not have any Daddy issues. The issue being: lacking a father in my life. I am the product of a two family home. As I grow in age I am realizing how much my relationships with my Father projects in my relationship with Men. It is incredibly paramount to have a trustworthy, unconditional love from man in your life who is not trying to gain anything in return. He Loves you because you are you and it shows a person that this possibility of unconditional love can exist.

I am not saying just because you have a Daddy, you will automatically have better relationships with S.Os. Cus women and men with Daddy's and without are just as equally crazy.

When an woman has a Daddy, I find she demonstrates the following:
1. Realistic expectations of what a Man is. (No Prince on shining armor Syndrome. Although she may identify some Daddy must have characteristics.)
2. Higher expectations from Men. (She is familiar with what man is. She most likely will not fall for a phony.)
3. Have higher self confidence.

With men, daddy issues have a few effects. Men who lack Father's either do one of a few or a combo of a few things.
1. Are attached to their Momma's at the hip. (Mixed Feelings on this. But they have a strong strong allgenice to their Moms. It is usually extremely intimate.)
2. Overcompensate in being the MAN.(NOT to be Confused with a GENTLEMAN)
3. Develop some Chick characteristics.


So, Bups how has Having a Daddy or NOT affected you?