Friday, August 29, 2008

Sore Losers???

I think Hillary's speech at the DNC was inspirational and refreshing for the party. I was very excited about what seemed to be a legitimate plea to her party to move on from the primary season so that they can take on the Republicans. However some are still skeptical....

LOL Why didn't anyone ask for this nutjob's vote? Poor Joyce. Maybe she can go to this therapy session that they are implementing on the Daily Show to "Heal Clinton Supporters"....


Posted: 10:40 AM ET
(CNN) – Sen. John McCain has chosen Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin to be his vice-presidential candidate on the Republican ticket for the White House in November, CNN has learned.
Palin, 44, is a first-term governor who unseated incumbent Gov. Frank Murkowski in the Republican primary in 2006 and went on to defeat former Gov. Tony Knowles, a Democrat, in the general election.
An advocate of drilling for oil in her state's Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, she is little known outside of Alaska.


Monday, August 25, 2008

If You Are NOT Registered to Vote You're a FOOL..... PERIOD!

So recently I was all caught up in the hype of this Rick Warren event at his church where he invited the presidential candidates to his church to answer the questions relevant to him and his congregation. I was disgusted at the fact that Rick Warren has all this pull and the candidates felt that he was important enough to go to his church and answer his questions on spirituality. (I do not think these two things, spirituality and politics, go together as much as people may think but that is another blog entry.) But I was thinking if these candidates are going to go and prove themselves to this group of Evangelicals why not do the same for Muslims, Baptists, and any other major religious group in the country? Find the major leaders of these churches as well and go answer their questions in front of their biggest congregations. What makes Evangelicals so important?! Then I looked at some stats and got the answer... THEY VOTE!

Steve Harvey pointed out some interesting facts this morning on his show. He stated Kerry lost PA in the last election by approximately 3% of the vote which was around 144,000 votes. (I paid particular attention to this state because it is the one from which I am from.) It was also documented that there were 360,000 Blacks that were not registered to vote in Pennsylvania. (And that is not to say that every black that is registered even voted.) I have volunteered in two voter registration events since I have graduated college and the most common thing I hear from Blacks that I am trying to get to register is that "my vote isn't going to count. They are just going to steal the election anyway etc etc." I look at this as excuses for a lazy ass not to have to take initiative and then just complain about what is wrong in society. According to the statistics that Steve Harvey ran off this morning if more Blacks were registered to vote in Florida, Pennsylvania, Ohio, and Virginia alone it would have been close to 1.5 million more votes cast and that is only 4 states.

Here are some more facts:

In 1870, the 15th Amendment was ratified. It stated that, "The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of race, color, or previous condition of servitude."
More than a half-million black men became voters in the South during the 1870s (women did not secure the right to vote in the United States until 1920).

With federal troops no longer present to protect the rights of black citizens in Mississippi during Reconstruction, white supremacy quickly returned to the old Confederate states. Black voting fell off sharply in most areas because of threats by white employers and violence from the Ku Klux Klan, a ruthless secret organization bent on preserving white supremacy at all costs.

Laws and practices were also put in place to make sure blacks would never again freely participate in elections. But one problem stood in the way of denying African Americans the right to vote: the 15th Amendment, which guaranteed them this right. To a great extent, Mississippi led the way in overcoming the barrier presented by the 15th Amendment.

As a result of intimidation, violence, and racial discrimination in state voting laws, a mere 3 percent of voting-age black men and women in the South were registered to vote in 1940. In Mississippi, under 1 percent were registered. Most blacks who did vote lived in the larger cities of the South. By not having the power of the ballot, African Americans in the South had little influence in their communities. They did not hold elected offices. They had no say in how much their taxes would be or what laws would be passed. They had little, if any, control over local police, courts, or public schools. They, in effect, were denied their rights as citizens.

- All facts supplied by the Constitutional Rights Foundation

Many Bups may read this and think "This isn't us though we are registered!" And I say to that think AGAIN! Many bups relocate and get caught up for whatever reasons and are not registered to vote. Many blacks that I knew in college didn't vote while they were students. Voting is not just for presidential elections either folks! Black people please stop being naive and get out and vote. Take a couple of your family members and friends that you know are not registered while you are at it. It is the primary catalyst for change! So in the future in whatever election candidates may really care what we think instead of just trying to pacify us for our votes!

Sunday, August 24, 2008

"When will you get Married"

Hayle Naw. I just got an invite on Facebook for a "When will you get married" application?

Are you effing kidding me?

Maybe its just me, but Marriage does not appeal to me.
I used to think Marriage is only necessary for kids. Meaning, when I was ready to have kids, I would get married. Prior to that we could just be engaged or long term Boyfriend and Girlfriend for all I care. This recently changed, when I realized that is not necessary either. What if I was ready to have kids but my Boyfriend was not? He can easily be a sperm donor, and I could raise them on my own.

Nevertheless, we are Buppie's in our 20's. There is a lot of pressure for us to make that NEXT step. We have the good job, nice crib, etc. Even now when I meet buppies over 28 and they are not married or in a serious relationship, I ask them why? Must be something wrong with them! Reality is they are probably thinking just like me. Marriage is not necessary to be happy!

What scares me is this, at this point in our lives, it is quite possible for your next relationship to be the end all? He/She could be your potential mate. YUCK! That sounds boring. Within 3 months of dating, you already did everything possible with each other. NOW you talking about LIFE!!! **shakes my head** Nope. Then you want HALF. Half on my food, income, etc. I am a selfish Buppie and I am not trying to share. Then to find someone bringing what you bringing to the table? Female Buppies we already touched on how hard that is!

Ultimately, society stop making me feel like I am worthless for enjoying being a black urban professional who is upwardly mobile and not wanting to get engaged tomorrow!! Can WE bask in our Buppieness! GEEZ!

Barry + Joe = ??? Plausible Reality?

So, I was pro HC for VP for one entire week. My homegirl really started to trip out, and instead of being a positive, her involvement with Obama campaign almost always ended up in a negative for his camp every time her name came up.

Take a look at this video, where the author compares Barry and Joe to Spock, and Captain Kirk respectively. Ehh to the comparison, but I get the point he is trying to make. Biden + Obama = a very well rounded ticket!

BTW. CNN Reports Obama has a RAZOR thin Led against McCain....for real?

Friday, August 22, 2008

Buppie Don't: Child Rearing

Buppie's kids do not dance like this.

Yes your thoughts??

Relationship Trends

Being Boyfriend and Girlfriend (BF & BF, GF &GF) seems so faux pas. Who is really putting a title on things these days?

The truth is folks these days have really lost faith in the entire relationship thing.And for some reason they credit this to titles. Because they lost faith, they want easy outs. So if you are not BF and GF technically, folks think they can dead the relationship easier. No accountability or true responsibility is given with out the title.

So instead of just calling it what it is, which is being BF & GF, folks these days are skirting around the issue.
They say things such as we are "dating exclusively" or we have an "understanding",or we are just "boos".

Bottomline is this. You may be in denial but REAL TALK, if you are seeing someone and you all have discussed and accepted that you all will not be seeing anyone else...UMM your in a relationship. It aint got nothing do with titles, its all about feelings.

Have you noticed this trend in your social circles.? Alot has to do with Maturity.
Men, its all about timing. You can not make a man settle down until he is ready. Some women cannot wait, and they bounce. Ladies it okay to feel like a dude is your boyfriend when he is not. It like coming on your period for the first time. Everyone aint there yet! Go ahead and do you, because you cannot control how you feel. If he is your boyfriend he will break your heart, if he is your boo he will still break your heart. Titles do not matter. If you all have made some type of commitment to each other, respect that and it should evolve.
One thing we all need to avoid is forcing titles on each other. But do not force the relationship. Men tend to be slow. Woman can be too.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Soul Ties

The other day my ex boyfriend call. The same EX who I have been trying to really cut out my life. Not because he did me wrong, but because I was making the conscious decision to move on from him and I was. I was a terrible terrible Girlfriend to him, and reflecting on how immature I was quite frankly disgusts me. Also, we had long relationship one and off throughout college making him...My first love.
I need to break that tie, so in order to do so, I need to stop talking to him, or anything that reminded me of him. So I did. Out of sight out of mind. Works right?

The truth is I realized how much of a soul tie this dude has with me. I will always care about him. Talking to him regurgitates these feelings. Not I got to have him feelings, but like a warm "awww" feelings. It makes me mad that he can make me feel this way. So I try to avoid it. To him he does not have to cut me off. He calls chipper as f&%K all the time. Which further annoys me!
" A soul tie is like a bridge between a person and another person."

Another case of a soul tie is a friend of mine, Cathy. Cathy was childhood friends with her home girl Deborah. Ride or Die. Cathy meets Lue in college. Now Lue is the type of real hater chick. She purposely manipulates folks. Cathy knew this about Lue and when Lue met her home girl Deborah, Cathy did what good friends do and warned her about Lue.

Nonetheless Deborah fall under Lue's wickedness and spreads it further to Cathy. This ends Cathy's and Deborah's friendship. Deborah continues to befriend Lue, but low and behold, the wickedness in Lue comes to the surface. Deborah is blown. Tries to reach back out to Cathy.

At first Cathy does what she should. Does not accept Deboarh in her life, and moves on full force. 1 year later Deboarh comes back again. Cathy is obviously in a new spot in her life. Matured with new friends, nevertheless, Cathy is torn. She has learned to let go of this friendship, Yet the feeling of hurt and ties reside. Thats a soul tie.

Some relationships in life are of the upmost importance and some are not meant to be there. A soul tie can be one or the other.Negative or positive. Soul ties are painful connections that we have to consciously accept or wholeheartedly cut off. Who are you tied to that you cannot get rid of? He/ or She maybe holding you back. Or he/she maybe meant to be there! Its all for you to determine. One of the keys is not hate. Harbor no hate in your heart and make a decision. People in your life are meant to add to it. Not take things away! Soul ties are mini blessings and lessons. Learn from them. Accept them. Move on.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

The Black Republican

With polls showing that the majority of African-Americans are supporting Senator Barack Obama for president, now is a tough time to be a Black Republican. But there's a resolute group of African-Americans around the country proudly waving the GOP banner. Essence talks to some of them about where they stand on the issues and why more of us should join their party.
- Aina Hunter

So another good article in Essence this month (man, get on that August 08 Essence!) discussed Black Republicans. I am not a Republican, however, there are a few in my family and I go back and forth with them about particular issues constantly! But this article really took the time to delve into the psyche of the Black Republican and their views on the election, politics in general, and the black community. I found myself nodding in agreement to many things they were saying and shaking my head hell naw to some of their other views! I am going to try to briefly outline some of the highlights...

Self reliance seemed to be the primary driving force in the minds of the Black Republicans mentioned in this article. Many Republicans believe it is up to individuals to make their own opportunities rather than expect the government to provide for them. Peter W.D. Bramble, PhD, a Yale alumni, believes that if he can make it out of a one room school house in Montserrat, anyone can. In the article he states, "I took advantage of educational opportunities. Rather than wait for people to do things for me, I got up and did it myself." Some of his other views are as follows:

Socialized health care: "There should be some minimum health care, but if the government pays for everything, it will crush the economy and destroy us as an economic power."

Welfare: "It's destructive to the Black family. It drove Black men out of the home."

Affirmative Action: "It's demeaning. Affirmative action virtually says that we're less than other folks. It's really sick."

Now Dr. Bramble I understand where you are coming from with these views, however, I have to disagree on a few. I think the government as well as Black people have made the instruments listed above detrimental instead of helpful. However, if used correctly they can be assets. As far as socialized health care I believe it can be made a reality, or at least a partial one, where there is more help to low income families. Let's face it Dr. Bramble not everyone is ballin and it is not necessarily because they are lazy! It is done in many European countries without a second thought so why can't we have socialized health care? I do agree with the comments on welfare though and am particularly disgusted about how it is designed to keep people ON IT instead of helping them to get OFF OF IT and NIGGAS will milk that! As far as the affirmative action comment I am just a strong believer that because of the premise on which this nation was built Blacks in America are always going to have it harder PERIOD! The founding fathers of this country were not thinking about my black ass when they were saying "All men are created equal" because my peeps were in somebody's field. And though we have come a LONG way from then we are still behind. Not to mention the people who have benefited the most from affirmative action are WHITE WOMEN!!!

Another Black Republican by the name of Preston Gray according to the article suspects that many Blacks vote Democratic without considering what they are sacrificing. He states, "We go to church. We are not supportive of gay marriage, especially not here in the south. There is not large open support for abortion. But to be a Democrat, you have to compromise these things." Do you really Mr. Gray? Am I honestly compromising my religion because I do not necessarily care what a gay couple decides to do with themselves? Or that I will not let anyone especially a MAN dictate what I want to do with my body as far as pregnancy is concerned? And who is to say that every Democrat even believes in abortion or gay marriage? Just because I say I am not a vegetarian doesn't mean I eat every type of meat. However, another Black Republican by the name of Scoggins states, "Many elements of today's (Republican) party are the antithesis of what the Republican Party was years ago. They get bogged down with moral issues and social things that would appear to be intolerant. I'm not saying you should condone gay rights, but they seem to have a fixation with it." I agree Mr Scoggins!

The article also goes into how historically the Democratic Party was "largely made up of white racists." And it wasn't until 1964 that "segregationists flocked to Republicans, touting the idea that the federal government--which had forced integration on them--should have less power over states. Meanwhile, as democrats began passing legislation addressing poverty and injustice, large numbers of African-Americans switched parties."

Many Blacks are skeptical of joining a party dominated by White southern conservatives. Political scholar Bositis referenced in the article how in the 2000 presidential campaign when Senator McCain defended South Carolina flying the Confederate flag on statehouse grounds. Bositis asked, "How could any Black Republican support a party that cherishes the Confederate flag? You have to ask, when does this 'insensitivity' get to a point where it's just racist?" (Oh yeah and McCain later apologized and said the flag should be removed. HA!) But Black Republicans raised an interesting point as well. Denice Johns stated, "No other group is predominantly one party except for us." The article states how Johns applauds Latinos for using representation in both parties as leverage to demand what they want. The main question that Black Republicans agree on that is directed at Democrats is "What have they done for us? Democrats take African Americans for granted because the day the Democratic Party has to worry about the Black vote is the day we take that first step to full political empowerment." says Michael Steele. (GOPAC Chairman)

Sorry Mr Steele I'm still not voting for McCain though. I do not think that will give me political empowerment. I do see your point though!

Monday, August 18, 2008

Video Vixens

I stop watching music videos about 4 years ago. Except for occasionally flipping channels, I am weary of this propaganda. Plus there is Youtube.

However, there is something about looking at these chicks that satisfy my hater gland. I call it my hater gland because everyone got some type of hatership in them. I admit mine, but my hater gland is only excepts extremely low doses. Little things such as my hatership/admiration for Video Hoes.

To me nothing is more powerful that having a big a$$ booty! I know. I know. But the chick from the outkast video, buffie the body, and Deelishis make me so jealous.

Now just because I can look at a womans body, does not mean I am homosexual. So consider this my "NO HOMO" Warning. Also consider this, I have no problem with homosexuals. I love everyone until proven guilty...

Let the hating begin.

Not matter how much I work out, how come my ass cannot look like Buffie???Look at this chicks waistline!! WTF? Buffie!!! What are you eating? What type of dietary system you got the redirects all your fat to your ass?? Just skipping the rest of your body??? The majority of her body malnutritioned. Your stomach madd as shyt at your a$$! She got a thong on, we cannot see it because her butt cheeks ate it. Her entire A$$ just greedy as shyt.

Ok now that my hater gland is satisfied, time to discuss the real issue. If I am 20 something educated female, who does not even watch music videos, and it effects my mental capacity ? Then Dang! This really must have an effect on the youth!
On some real ish, when I was younger, I can remember when the "Thong Song" came out. My friends and I wanted some, thongs because we wanted to mimic the video chicks. Trying to make our booties go "
da na da na"! We cannot underestimate the media and the effects that it has on us!! Particularly women. To say we are not objectified is like voting for MCCAIN? That's just dumb as shyt!

We have to be careful as women, to realize our appearance does not consume our lives. I have to even check myself. I mean, my dietary system redirects my fat to my stomach and thighs. I will NEVER look like Buffie. However my thickness is a feature that I accept. It is me. There will never be another me, and that uniquesness is what we should adore about ourselves. We have to find beauty in ourselves and not the TV screen. I meet so many women, BEAUTIFUL, INTELLIGENT WOMEN, however it disheartens me, when all they can seem to talk about is their weight, or their wardrobe, etc.

So today's message is this: We must break this cycle of letting the media determine what is pretty. You make yourself attractive. You and only you. Tell the youth, your little cousin, sister, whatever SHE is beautiful. Let her look to her family and friends for esteem, rather than Buffie the body.

Thursday, August 14, 2008


Whoop Whoop!!! Crazy BIOTCH ALERT.

Have you ever had that friend who was so cool in the beginning?
I am not going to front. HC was my first choice for President. My homegirl was doing it in the beginning. I even went on Good Morning America and had her back!

But when your homegirl is doing something wrong, you have to call her out on it!
Have you all heard the latest BS??

This chick and her "stalkers" done created such a storm, Obama said it is okay for her to be on the ballot. Mofo for what?

"I am convinced that honoring Clinton's historic campaign in this way will help us celebrate this defining moment in our history and bring the party together in a strong, united fashion," -Obama
No. The is reminiscent of the Maury Show. In the case of Hilary Rodham Clinton....YOU ARE NOT THE NOMINEE!!! So fall back. You are no longer responsible for this election. Stop trying to steal the light from Obama.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Everyone Needs a Break

I just came back from a week vaca in the Bahamas with 3 other buppie women.
1. It was much needed. Work is out of style.
2. It was my birthday, boo to getting older... YAY to Getting Better!

However, going to another country brings certain thoughts to mind.

1. It reinforces my extreme dislike for George Bush and his administration.
Traveling is the worst effin inconvenience in the world. (Very close to slavery) You need a passport for everywhere($$). They charge you fees for your bags($$$). This 50 lb one bag is effing pissing me off!!! WTF. How am I going to go on a trip for one week with one bag? Then you can not carry liquid on your carry-on? Did you all notice that liquids tend to be your heaviest items? Now you cant carry them on?? It's all a ploy to get our freakin money. Then the fees! How come you buy a ticket for 150 and it end up being 300?? All these damn fees. 911 Fee. Security Fee. Airport FEE! Ohhh please!

Then the entire security screening process which is pure BULLShyt! I cant tell how many times I've smuggled liquids on board. YEA! I said it. I smuggle, All types of ish! Body Spray's, Shampoos, etc. Come get me! And can someone please tell me why the hell I got to remove my shoes? WTF does that do??
All this nonsense is due to the "TERROR" GWB created. Once again..thanks for ruining my life.

2. The Level of living
Most of the employment on these islands are tourism. Hotel workers, Cab drivers, etc. How are they making it on life on that pay, when their gas is $1.50 more expensive than the US and their food is overpriced due to import fees. I mean SALSA was 7.99??? NOT a COSTCO joint that can feed like 20 ppl. No the regular you dip your chip twice and you aint got anymore joint. Yet they enjoy living with little. How come I can not do that? Cus America done got me thinking I can get a dream! YEA RITE

3. These MEN are fertile
ATTENTION!! If you are looking for a surrogate or some strait fertile sperm, take your ass to the Bahamas. I mean all the Bahamian men between the ages 20-25 all had kids!! Not married either. I must have met 20 Bahamian men and like 3 of them ain't have kids.

Overall, the vacation was safe. I suggest to all my buppie's out there, make time for this. IT clears your head. It opens you up to other cultures. You make new friends.

What is Recession Proof In Your Life?

So during my daily NPR fix, Neil Conan was discussing with his guest the day to day indulgences that Americans have and are accustomed to and what things they are willing to cut out in the midst of a recession and what things can not be cut! It made me think about my spending and some of the things in my life that are recession proof and things that are not.

Recession Proof
Hair- I used to go every 2 weeks now I have cut it to once a month. I think that is sensible. However, my hair NEEDS my stylist so this aint being cut!

Organic Produce- I have stopped going to Whole Foods, well I do not go as much. I found a nice friendly Farmer's Market down the street that has GREAT fruit and veggies. So again I could not cut it but I am able to budget it a little better

Brazilian Wax- NUFF SAID! It aint being eliminated!

Massage- So yeah I have just gotten into getting a massage once a week and I LOVE IT!!! My mother gave me the idea and it is a tremendous stress reliever! I think I may make this more of a once every 2 week thing though.

Not Recession Proof

Starbucks- I like all those little lattes, frappucinos, and such but that sh*t adds UP! I'm cool. I got a coffeemaker and I like the McDonald's iced coffee so I can manage!

Mani and Pedi- To a lot of my friends this can not be cut however for me it is not that big of a deal. I will do it myself. I got a kit and everything and I am getting pretty damn good at it.

Middle -Premium Grade Gas- Uhhh yeah back to regular. Every once in a while I will still put a higher grade in the tank but not often. I will just make sure my car maintenance is on point. It aint like I'm driving a BMW or Benz out here!

Gym- So I only got a gym membership because it was discounted through my job. But I never really went and I simply got tired of paying for it. I am not trying to lose any weight just to remain healthy so I bought a yoga dvd and am starting to run on Saturday mornings. I think that will do the trick!

Interested in knowing some of your indulgences and what can NOT be cut from your budget even in the midst of a recession...

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Post Traumatic Relationship Disorder (PTRD)

So as usual I am always talking to my friends about their relationships and such and it boggles my mind how many intelligent, beautiful, and positive women I know deal with such BS in their relationships. Like what thee F*CK?! At times I think I have dealt with some crap in the past with men but when I hear their stories I am blown. Now don't get me wrong, I understand love is a powerful thing. But when does love for self come in and stop you from dealing with BS?!

Essence had a good article in their August 2008 issue called "The Ghost of Relationships Past." It is crazy how many parallels I was able to draw from their analysis of black women who have dealt with relationship trauma in their life, to women that I know and myself. Like seriously, I deal with a lot of reservations and emotions with men based upon past experiences that I have had in relationships with men. However, I have never been in an emotionally abusive relationship. Men and women are both guilty of being emotionally abusive. However, I do not think women understand how emotionally abusive they are based upon the hurt they harbor from the past. The article went on to profile several types of black women who have issues with men based upon life experiences that often stem from childhood. It goes on to define relationship patterns that form from traumatic relationship experiences as Post Traumatic Relationship Disorder (PTRD).

Essence Reads:
Black mental health experts across the country attest to a trend so insidious and pervasive that Essence editors gave it a tag of its own: Post Traumatic Relationship Disorder, or PTRD. As with post traumatic stress disorder, in which the responses provoked by an extremely painful or disturbing experience are repeatedly triggered by everyday events, women who've suffered some kind of relationship trauma tend to replay that experience again and again. The original trauma can come in varied forms: a deep longing for a father who withheld affection, a distrust of intimacy instilled by a mother sorely mistreated by men, a sexual violation in childhood or adulthood, or an outright betrayal or abandonment.

Similar to PTSD, the symptoms of post- traumatic relationship disorder include anxiety, irritability, depression, flashbacks and fear or emotional numbness. Hypervigilance is another symptom: A person suffering from PTRD might feel that she can never relax; she has to be on guard at all times to protect herself from new assaults on her security. "When a woman has been emotionally traumatized, there's an effort to avoid the people, places and things that recall the trauma," explains Angela Neal-Barnett, Ph.D., associate professor of psychology at Kent State University in Ohio, who specializes in anxiety disorders in Black women. "This is why a woman may push away good people or behave in ways that end a potential relationship before it even gets started."

Now don't get me wrong. I am not saying all my girlfriends with issues in their relationships are suffering from PTRD. HOWEVER, I can see how this cycle would begin based upon what they are currently dealing with. Talking to one of my girlfriends about what she has dealt with in her "committed" relationship over the last 4 years I found myself completely flabbergasted. I asked her why she continues to deal with this man and she says, "When someone new comes along I will let my man go." Like ugh why is that what it takes?! Many say too "I don't want him to change and then someone else gets the reward of getting the good man that I groomed." I shake my head at this. Man, you can not change him! And if the next broad does good for her!

Then I hear so many women, and often find myself with the same thoughts, saying things like "Oh I know he is hiding something" or "I am waiting for him to mess up." This attitude seriously plagues black women in their relationships. Also, why are so many women attracted to men who aren't shit?! It is a gripe that a lot of our male readers have vented about in response to past posts but it is becoming more and more apparent to me. Like you would rather stay with this NOTHING ASS NEGRO rather than to let it go, work on yourself, and learn from the experience so when the right man does come along you will be that much better. Honestly, I am a single woman just dating so I can not give much insight on how to navigate in a relationship, particularly a dysfunctional one. My advice is always LEAVE! However, I see that it is not that easy for whatever reason.