Thursday, April 22, 2010
It all started in the 90's. The concept of Hatership and Hatin'. But on the Lolo- It's been around for Centuries. Before Christ. One of the first haters was Cain, Eve' son. The Bible says that God was pleased with Abel's sacrifice, but not with Cain's. As a result Cain grew angry, dejected and jealous. (I.E HATE) Soon his fierce anger led him to commit murder. (Extreme Hater)
Now it has made its way to the 21st century, and it is beyond an OVERUSED expression, for some it is a way of life.
Here are some of my thoughts on hate.
Have you ever met someone for the very first time? You are cordial and all, but for some reason you just sense...HATE?! Never said a bad word to each other, but there is something there. Well that is your hate radar, and it is 80% accurate if you keep it real with yourself. KEYWORDS: KEEP IT REAL. Perhaps deep down it is you. Maybe this person makes you jealous. (Therefore you are the hater.) If so then that is your issue, and you have to figure out why. Maybe these feelings are needed for you to step your game up? Get better. Or maybe if you feel them hating, and they really do not know you well, then..HEY! Pat yourself on the back. You are doing something right! Right?
HONESTY vs. HATERSHIP
What about that person who you call a perpetual hater? You know them and they are always talking shyt or telling you things you do not want to hear. But deep down inside you know there is some truth to it! Sometimes people get honesty confused with hatership. The fine line difference are the type of relationships you have with a person and how the information was received.
Now some people live in this imaginary world of "They the shyt." (Narcissists) These folks are so interesting to meet. They justify all honest feedback or opinions of them as HATE. Come on now. Shyt don't stink until you smell it. These type of folks have nose congestion.
Personally, I try to keep my luxury of bluntness to people I fuxs with. Otherwise, some may misconstrue my honesty and care as hate. It aint hate, it is 100% the Districts Buppie telling you what I think. Now over the years, I have learned when to and when to NOT keep it "100". I always ask myself, "How can or could I have said that better?", "Was I invited to make a comment?", "Will this make our relationship better?" I have to say my bluntness has matured and tapered as I have grown. Unless invited, I keep my damn thoughts to myself.
But like I said it is a luxury for folks I fuxs with. The relationship matters. I cannot stand it when people who do not know me, try to tell me about myself?! How dare you. I have so much depth to my personality, if you only met me once, or saw me on a few occasions, you can not really know who I am. Don't talk matterfactly about shyt you don't know anything about. Here is really how some hate begins. People draw conclusions, and share those conclusions with other people. That is the hateful circle of life.
Now the people I fuxs with, have all the right to go IN. I mean feedback does help you grow. People who you really love and respect know how to convey a message genuinely.
HATE EYE V
Contagious! Yet the act of hating with a partner(s) is a dangerous yet sometimes gratifying activity. It feels good to talk shyt about someone in a group, when everyone is just going IN. Yep feels good, until somebody leaks and the person(who you burned by talking shyt), comes to check you. So what you going to do boo?! This is a true test. By now we should be old enough to talk shyt in a safely wrapped situation. Or if not a safe situation, keep you mouth closed.
So in short bups, I want to hear your most hateful story. Come clean, were you the hater? Or were you hated on? Or were you just being honest? Let's work to eradicate hate, one hater at a time.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
So I am back in America. The land where everyone has an equal opportunity to be great, right?! *chuckling to myself* Anyway the job search is in full swing and since I am fortunate to know EXACTLY what I want to do professionally I have been applying like crazy. However, recently I was having a conversation with the Close Confidant (CC) and he made mention that he would do everything he could to not disclose race while applying for a position. He went as far as suggesting that I may want to remove my picture from my professional site, not disclose my sorority, or any organization that may be race affiliated until I get my desired position. However, if I know the person reviewing my credentials is black then disclose away. I then made mention of these Equal Employment Opportunity surveys that I am often asked if I wish to fill out after I apply for a position. He exclaimed "HELL NO! Don't fill that out. It is a way to exclude you before you even get a chance!" I immediately thought it was his generational school of thinking. He then began to support his argument with these points. (This is based on the assumption that the majority of the people that are hiring are White.)
1. The age of the people hiring The CC explained that the age of many of these people looking to hire were probably around their 40's which meant that they may have been influenced by the Reagan era and there is a possibility that they share his sentiments about Affirmative Action.
2. The economy is bad therefore who are they going to look out for first? One another!
3. Many think if you are successful and black affirmative action got you there. This has been a heated debate that I have had with my peers in college as well with older relatives in my family. The CC's point is that many people of all ages think this way, therefore, this survey is another tool to use against you.
4. People are naturally bias Whether you are Black, White, Asian, Latino or whatever people may form opinions about you before even knowing you when it comes to employment. So why even give them a chance to discriminate against you by revealing your race. Let them call you for an interview first and then form an opinion about you.
Now the CC made it quite clear that he is NOT against affirmative action. But he believes that this survey can be used for good or bad so why even take the chance and fill it out. He thinks it can easily be used to exclude you. I still was not completely convinced about his reasoning so I turned to twitter to ask my peers. And surprisingly many of my peers of many different racial backgrounds responded in resounding agreement with the "Close Confidant".
I guess my question is how much weight does this survey actually hold in regards to me getting an interview and more importantly a JOB. And if you choose not to self identify, and don't have an overtly racially distinctive name, won't they piece together that you are "other" anyway.
Bups what are your thoughts? Do you wish to self identify?
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
What about how we don’t mind wasting money on drinks? We have convinced ourselves that we need our space in the club. But do we remember that bottle of Grey Goose costs $30 from the liquor store? No, we still bought it for $250. Because we wanted our space. Remember when we used to make our liquor last? I think that’s all gone now. I’d recommend that every buppie sort their bank account by transaction type and see how much they spend on alcohol a month. Enlightening.
As the spring and summer near, we know we about to throw out those winter clothes and bring up the spring clothes. Problem is, a lot of that stuff we don’t even want anymore. But we don’t want to give it up. We just let it sit and collect dust. I know myself I got some clothes I’m not going to wear again unless I have to paint something or go play in mud. Those clothes can be donated instead of taking up closet space, so I can feel like I have such a large wardrobe.
I’m just saying, do buppies have a tendency to waste?
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Do not even fake! Everyone knows somebody who is a functional a$$ weed head. In fact, these folks tend to be the most outstanding N!GGAS sometimes.That s$%t boggles my mind how one can smoke weed 8 hours a day and still manage to have intellectual conversation with relevant information to contribute in a team meeting.
On the other hand, we all have seen weed turn a buppie bad. Those are the saddest moments, because it can kill the potential and drive we all love.
15 jurisdictions in the U.S have opened medical marijuana joints. DC is now considering to join them.
I cannot help but think about the excuses people will come up with to get a prescription?! Shooot. We got Universal Healthcare too???! This will be the first time people will be happy to go to the clinic!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
It's TAX SEAAAAASON!
Yet another reminder that you either do NOT make enough OR make TOO damn much.
When the W-2 comes, I don't know about you all, but I liken it to the day Mike Vick got indicted for Animal Cruelty.
I go the entire year. I play broke over here, stack some cake over here. Oh that? Put it in the bag! Oh Taxes? Child please! I'm above the whole IRS.
Then BAM! Uncle Sam hits you with that paper. That perforated card-stock comes.
F%^K! *Head Drops*
I open it ..and there it is... all my worth in one lump sum.
If you personally know me, you know I talk about taxes once a day. It is in the forefront of my mind. I think daily of ways to
I'VE BEEN AUDITED BEFORE!!!! YEP. Folks I caught a case.
Here is how I got got:
Of course in college I had a job. My parents did my taxes, because I was their dependent. Let's be real folks, in college I never got paid that much to owe anything.
Fast Forward to after college. I am now on my own and trying to stack cake. Then one day, like any responsible adult, I go check the mail. I see this here letter from the Internal Revenue Service.
Here is what it said:
Dear District's Buppie,
Your a$$ owed us $200 1 year ago. We need our money. You are late. So over this year we have been charging you 100trillion% interest. Yes we know you did not know about it. But see code XXXXX and you will see we have a right to do things like this. Now you owe us $2 billion. Oh ..send it in the next 30 days or we will take your black a$$ to Jail.
Sam aka OLD Money
What was a buppie to do? I paid that S%$T! Quick and fast. Till this day, I am scarred whenever I get something in the mail from IRS. I vowed the government was never going to get me again. I'm trying to make sure they don't get you all either! Do your taxes!
Monday, March 15, 2010
So before I left South Korea "The Elephant" re-emerged. He was coming back into my life like he always did from time to time but this time with a different approach. The approach this time was more than the usual "just wanted to see how you were doing." This time it was a direct "I am coming back to take my position approach." Of course he was more subtle about it but it soon became clear to me what he wanted when he straight asked me, "Soooo what are we doing when you get home?"
So returning home I was excited yet nervous about the love that was awaiting me. I was afraid of being hurt again and it being more severe due to the fact that this wasn't just anyone. This is my "Elephant in the Room." However I must say that this Elephant never led me on. If we were friends he never tried anything. He was a gentleman and kept it platonic. He never wanted to confuse or taint our relationship. So I knew the fact that he wanted to change our relationship back and do it so drastically was a sure sign that this man was ready to be with me and nothing was casual about it.
And thus far that's how it has been....... :-)
Thursday, March 11, 2010
So recently I have noticed more and more women I know are having babies. It's like a damn epidemic. Granted I know we are at that age and this is about the time when many young adults begin to start families. However that's just it, START FAMILIES. In my opinion starting a family starts with an engagement followed by a marriage. But many of these women are having babies with long time boyfriends or men they were just dating and decided that they were going to have these babies. My question is this...... Is marriage obsolete in the situation of having a baby now?
My answer is NO! I personally do not plan on having a baby UNLESS I am married and I have discussed this thoroughly with my significant other. (Now I understand accidents can happen which is why as a woman I am personally doing everything I can to make sure there are no accidents.) Like seriously, I don't get it ladies. Now say for instance you are getting up there in age and you just want to have a baby before your body gets too old to reproduce. In this case I can kind of understand the whole getting pregnant without a ring. However, the women I am referring to are between the ages of 22-28. Like can someone explain to me why you are having numerous babies for a man you are not married to? You are educated, beautiful and young. Now fellas be honest, let's say you meet this attractive and moderately successful woman and you all go out for dinner. How are you going to feel when she tells you that she has two kids? You still going to want to get dessert?
I guess my thing is this, I feel the sanctity of marriage is something that is often overlooked in our generation especially among Blacks. Which could be argued is why the state of the black community and the black family is effed and blah blah blah. (I really do not want to venture too far down that road.) I have spoke to quite a few black men about this topic and how ultimately I want to be married before I start a family.
I often get met with comments like:
What is that marriage certificate really gonna do for you?!
I mean as long as you the "main" you should be good. If everything works the way it is why you need to get married?
Man you just want the jewelry!
If we been together for 6 years and it works like this why must we get married to bring meaning to it? It's meaningful just the way it is.
Fortunately for me none of these men are MY man. (Whew!) But people you all don't see the problem with this school of thinking? And women you don't see the problem with being a "baby mama" or long term "wifey" and not his actual WIFE? Let me enlighten you all then. If he wants an out, he has one that's why he won't marry your ass. Simple as that. Now if you are okay with having a baby with someone like that or with a man that just isn't ready to be a real husband than yes we do have a chronic problem within our community.
Finally let me say this, I am the product of a couple that was never married. I was blessed to have two parents that made a GREAT parental team despite the fact that they never got married. Still as a person who grew up in this situation I know the negative effects it can have on that child. Which may be even more reason why I am determined not to have my children out of wedlock.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Not me, but I’m sure some of you are. LOL. It came to my attention a few weeks back that there are other types of tricking that are commonly overlooked. Just because some girl is not in the club chasing after a baller or celebrity doesn’t mean she’s not chasing.
I went to an undergraduate business school and there was a particular girl in my class who was known for always bringing some type of dessert to class 3-4 times a semester. No she wasn’t fat, she was actually perfectly sized and kept herself together nicely. I remember when we had a course together and she talked about what she wanted to be when she grew up. My jaw dropped when she said, “I would like to earn my degree, get married, have a family and then open my own catering business so that I can have time to devote to my husband and children.”
You decided that you wanted to go through four years of Finance to open a catering business? (I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to drop Beta Sigma Phi aka B.S. in Finance while taking Securities & Derivatives.) You can’t be serious. But in fact she was. See she had it all figured out and some women should take heed. She placed herself in the line of fire with the men she thought would give her the best chance to marry rich. She was in class with all the finance majors who would be leaving college and accepting jobs at some of the best firms in America. Her momma didn’t raise no fool. She was in college to meet a husband. Her chocolate covered strawberries were merely a way to show all the men in our class how great it would be to come home to a woman who could throw down like that on the daily.
I’m sure many of you have already drawn conclusions about this young lady, but to be honest with you a lot of women do the same thing, but in different ways. Can I piss ‘em off? “Piss em off Jay!” – Buppie Nation.
Preying on MBA, JD, and MD students
There are several women who prey on the men in top graduate professional programs across America. I mean, why chase some baller who makes millions who doesn’t really have any plans to settle down, when you can be the princess of a guy who is about to come out of school making a cool $220K? Makes sense right. I admit to you, I’ve given this advice to many of women who are seeking to get married. I tell them, go to Columbia and find you a 1st year MBA student, he won’t know why this grown woman is treating him so nice. He might wife you down, and when he makes it big, you’re in the money.
Frequenting upscale bars where bankers, lawyers, doctors, etc. go for happy hour
LOL. You know women tell me where to meet men at and I tell them get in the line of fire. I can only speak for DC, so bear with me. If you want to meet men of good stature, stay out of the Park at 14th for happy hour. The type of people who are there on the regular don’t have real jobs or they’re too old to be in Park on a Thursday shopping for women anyway. However, let me recommend you go to Elephant & Castle. That’s where all the lawyers hang out and talk about work when they’re letting loose for a few before they go back to work. The moral of the story is get in the line of fire. Find out where the type of man you want likes to go and go there.
Go tell it on the mountain that you have found some success
Here’s a little known secret about men of a certain stature, “Birds of a feather flock together.” So women if you meet a guy and you are thanking 6 lb. baby Jesus for bringing you this gift, phone a friend, post on the message board, blog about it, or tweet about it. Women need to stick together. Most successful men only associate with other successful men because they’d like to have something in common with their network. If they would like to go to dinner at McCormick & Schmick’s they don’t want to hang around some noodle who would rather go to Applebee’s.
Play the role. Be the change you want to see in the world.
If you want a man to wife you down. Show him what it will be like to be with you, and to one day be married to you. Don’t stress him out. Be the type of woman he wants his mom to meet. Don’t have him wondering if you are going to be faithful to him or not. Let him know that you are dedicated to things like; the gym, bettering yourself through reading and study, keeping a good house, learning how to cook several dishes and servings for those dishes, and the list goes on.
So there are some tips or clues to how women who are trying to get that MRS are doing outside of the club and All-Star weekend. If you think I’m coming off brash or egotistical, I’m merely giving it to you straight from the Mind of a Man. Now before I let you go, let me remind you, tricking is still tricking. But at the end of the day, I think we all need to evaluate our goals and where we want to be and get there. Don’t worry about what people think about you, if in the end you get what you want.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
First let me start by saying that was illegal for any employer to discriminate on the basis of race to anyone. However, as we talked over dinner we realized that this was a controversial topic. Should the girl report the employer? Should she try and press charges? It was a heated discussion. And usually in heated discussions people fail to listen. So here are my thoughts in a nutshell.
1) I think that it is ridiculous that people are not aware of social norms such as, interview etiquette in 2010. And I also think the reason why is because some people are able to get away with for so long that they’ve never been corrected. Seriously frustrating.
2) This situation puts someone in a weird place. I have been involved in a situation at work where I chose to let something go because I didn’t want the attention of the process that I had to go through to fix it. A coworker sends a racist email, do I want to go to HR and file a complaint? Maybe, but do I want to be called a whistle blower at work, or just not associate with this coworker anymore?
3) As a Black man who has done some recruiting before I’ve always wondered what I should tell another candidate who was also a minority. Should I even lend a helping hand to a frat brother of mine? I think the answer is yes, I should be helping both of these people out. And honestly, if I interview someone and they are a hot mess and they need to get it together, then I think I will tell them.
a. Now if some Black girl comes into my office to interview and she’s “thick” and I tell her, if I was you, I’d try to wear better fitting clothes. You appear to be “showing” off. You know Black women have curves and all, but is she going to be offended that I’m telling her to “know her audience.”
4) The last thing, is that in some ways you have to be happy that someone doesn’t lie to you. I like to know why doors are closed in my face. If you are not hiring me because of my race; then I’d like to know that. I’d rather someone tell me it’s because I’m Black or because I have locks in my hair than say, “We just didn’t think you possessed the skills to be a good fit at our firm.”
5) Here’s what I would do. I would go home and post an article about the interview on Glassdoor.com. It’s anonymous and it actually helps to avoid what you don’t want happening, this happening to someone else. I wouldn’t want the job at that place because if that’s how they treat their prospective employees, I can’t imagine how they treat their current employees. Lastly, I get back on my grind working to meet my main goal which is to find a job.
So yeah, those were my thoughts, but I’m interested to see what the Buppie readers think? Do you feel like I’m playing Uncle Tom here? Have you had similar experiences?
Monday, February 15, 2010
There are a lot of people out there who don’t know their worth. No this isn’t about relationships, this is about your overall life. For example, I know too many men who act like thugs or act “hood” when they really aren’t. My mother always told me that thugs do go to college, but I truly believe that once you know better, act better. The other example is women who act like groupies when they can clearly do for themselves. To piggyback off of what The District Buppie said on Monday, you have a good paying job, but you living a lie. The fact of the matter is that some women aren’t broke and their gold digging or groupie tactics aren’t attractive and are unnecessary.
I’m out in lounges and clubs all the time and I see these girls. They go to the club looking for a guy to buy them drinks, looking to meet a guy who’s well off financially to get a free meal, some bills paid, or some vacation time. I think this behavior is pathetic. Especially because the men that you really want to give you this can easily tell when a girl is out for gold. Chasing after a man for the party life or the good life is just bad. It really gets under my skin when I know a woman with a good job, good education, and a future ahead of herself is in the club chasing after ballers, athletes and celebrities. Why?! Focus on the real, the real is that a woman has to know her worth.
In my opinion, these women are just as bad as guys who try and spend their way into relevance. If you’re making 60-70K a year and you’re in the club popping bottles every weekend on credit. Something is not right. Driving a car that you can’t afford is not the move. If you have been blessed with the ability to use your brain and common sense to make it in the world, use it wisely because not everyone is blessed as you. So the same goes for women, don’t be found in circles of people that you have nothing in common with. I’m tired of seeing women who I know have much more to offer, throwing on freakum dresses and shuffling to the local nightspots Thursday-Sunday looking for a baller.
Let me follow-up my previous point about the ballers, those ballers won’t ever give you what you want anyway. When a guy meets a woman in the club, and his relationship with her exists because of the club, he never takes her seriously. (I caveat this because sometimes you meet people in the club, but that doesn’t become the main platform for your relationship.) The baller is only hitting you up for a good time, he’s not your friend and he doesn’t really care about you. The glamour will get really real for you when he sees some eye candy he likes better. Plus, all that glitters is not gold. You may think you are living the life and you are making good connections, but these people aren’t the people you think they are. They can be shallow and more concerned about themselves at your expense. If you hang around shallow people, shallow people things will happen. For example, I know a chick who was chasing an athlete and when she got pregnant she thought she had hit the jackpot. Wrong, the dude played her major league, no pun intended. His reply, “Well, what are you going to do? You can do one thing and this doesn’t really affect anyone, or you can do another and the next person you’ll speak to is my accountant who can set you up.” He basically informed her that he was not going to be that baby’s daddy and all he reduced her to was a settlement of money and moving on.
I hope my point came across in the post. I really am not accusing anyone of anything because of course I don’t know you. But take some time and make sure that you aren’t chasing the fake when you have all the tools to succeed on your own. I know some good guys and they really do appreciate our educated buppies with good jobs who are taking care of their responsibilities. Although, I won’t say that sometimes good guys don’t mess with these fake chicks, they don’t take them seriously, trust me on that.
Dr. J is still alive and well, you can follow him daily @DrJayJack on Twitter.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Today, something happened and I talked to one of my HOME BOYS in the most platonic way. He was updating me on his life, and I realized that I have some of the most AWESOME male friends. Sometimes when I am sad or down, these wonderful guys can always make me laugh.
Sometimes they just appreciate DC Bup for her.
But most of all they give me hope that there remains some good guys out there. I mean, my male homies are TOTALLY on Point. These men are handsome, intellectual, professional, genuine, ambitious, and caring men.
Dammit ...Clearly I am Friend zoning the wrong guys??
Honestly, I truly love these men. But just not like dat. And although we both recognize the GREAT things about each other, we understand we are not... we just not like dat!
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
- Where are the real men that recognize a real woman when she is staring them in the face.
- #retweetthisif you tired of niggas wifin' up the skankiest of the whores, sluts, and and hood rats they can find!!!
- All these niggas are DOGS out here! And I am not in the mood to train a nigga not to piss on the carpet!
- I'm a BOSS so why do these sub par men keep plaguing my LIFE!
- I am tired of aint shit niggas wasting my time. Are there any real men left?!
Public Service Announcement: If you want a DECENT guy STOP THE MAN HATING!
*The following may come off a bit brash*
Needless to say some of these people had to get "unfollowed" because there constant negativity clogging up my timeline is beyond annoying. Even if these are your feelings keep them to yourself! Men see this shit and RUN for the hills. It doesn't make them want to step up to the challenge it makes them want to RUN THE F*CK AWAY! Who the hell are you to be passing such judgment anyway?! If these niggas are dogs quit being the "bitch" that fucks them all willy nilly! And why does the woman that these particular men DO decide to wife have to be a skank, a whore, or a hoodrat?! Do you secretly wish you were that skank, whore, or hoodrat? I personally do not know any man that would wife a woman of that caliber. Like mind your damn business and maybe you can find a man!
And on top of all that LADIES WHEN DO YOU START TO EXAMINE YOURSELF?! Many women I know who make these statements LOOK FOR LOSERS to date. If a nice guy with their stuff together does approach them he is boring, or lame, or can't handle them! Raise your damn standards. And maybe you are not ready for that ideal man because you still airing your bitter sentiments on every social network there is and Lord knows that is not working in your favor!
*Back to being positive*
This kind of talk is ugly and not becoming and the sooner women realize that the sooner they may find Mr. Right and be happy. Use this time of single solitude as self reflection. Contrary to popular belief 23-28 is still relatively young ladies. Just because you have not found Mr. Right yet does not give you the right to generalize the majority of men as "no good". I can understand an occasional tweet about a bad experience with a man but let's not let it be the focal point of your online identity because that's what it becomes. In addition with this type of thinking you will find yourself lonely for a long time! Be patient and stop looking for him and he will come.
Ladies you are beautiful and better than this so stop the man hating. It is not classy!
Monday, February 8, 2010
At last the bougie side overcomes... bare with me.
Being constantly broke is NOT BUPPIE!
I can't stand broke people. Correction I can't stand broke people who try to hang like they can afford it. Let me further clarify. I am talking about those people who have good paying jobs. However, these people just BLOW their money. Stop living your life like a damn RAP VIDEO!
Wake the EFF up you idiot! You always got money OR You always broke at the wrong times.
We want to go to the club. "I don't have any gas money."
DC Bup thinks: "BITCH YOU DRIVING A MOTHEFFIN BMW. AIN'T NOBODY TELL YOU TO GET A CAR THAT TAKES 93 EFFING GRADE GAS. SHOULD HAVE GOT YOUR BROKE A$$ A MOTHEREFFIN SOLARA."
Then when we get to the sophisticated establishment, your broke a$$ face is all tight. Why? Because you can't get any drinks. Then, you got to shyt on everyone else's night with that "I am ready go all early" BS. #childplease
Those broke folk can really put a damper on the moves you are trying to make. Honestly, buppies all have moments of when we are broke (I call it budget control), but guess what? I have a wii, a dvd player, and a 14.99 Netflix account. I know how to stay my a$$ at home. DO YOU?!
Monday, February 1, 2010
Women are “increasingly better-educated than their husbands and have emerged as the dominant income-provider in one of five marriages,” according to a new Pew Research Center study. “What’s radically changed is that marriage now is a better deal for men,” said report co-author Richard Fry. These trends have been reinforced by the recession, which has “hurt employment of men more than that of women.”
I posed this question on twitter the other day. "If had 2 masters degrees and drove a range rover, would you marry me?"
I got 2 proposals! ...from women. (NO HOMO and It was in jest but still..)
I hear very few buppie men say that they are ok with marrying women who may make a bit more money OR have more education. I mean women are raised to seek stability. So a man with a stable income, is desirable. Whereas men are raised to be breadwinners. If technically, the woman is the breadwinner, how attractive is that situation?
...Obviously a woman with 2 masters degrees and a Range Rover are NOT. LOL <--- The District's Buppie in 5 years.
Monday, January 25, 2010
I know this buppie man, Reggie , I never knew him to ever have a girlfriend. I would see him all over the city. Doing what I see many men do, going after ass. He always appeared so slimy to me so, I never really got too close to him. However, we had lots of common friends.
One of our common friends, Kim, grew up with Reggie. Kim and I are very cool buppie chicks and naturally bonded. A few years ago, I was catching up with my homie Kim. She mentions that Reggie has a jumpoff in Chicago that he would just come in town and EFF. Kim stopped associating herself with this Chicago chick. (Excommunicated like a homosexual Muslim.) Kim thought it was beyond tacky of Chicago, because Chicago knew that Reggie had a girlfriend in Boston.
OH WORD?! #Welldamn. I knew he was a slime ball.
Anyway, I chat with Kim the other day (and years later) and she says she is going to Reggie's Wedding.
I ask, "Who is he marrying?"
Kim informs me it is quite an interesting situation. "Boston. All of Reggie's boys are trying to talk him out of it. Boston is such a good girl. His boys are like "What are you doing dude?!!?" Reggie has been effing Chicago since him and Boston got together."
I ask, "Wow. How can Boston not know?"
Kim says "I have no idea. But she is not with him in DC or Chicago. So maybe since she is not close..."
I , always giving folks the benefit of the doubt , ask "Really, how do you know he is still effing Chicago?"
Kim, who lives in Chicago, says "
I shook my head. "Why does he feel the need to get married?!"
Kim, "Well apparently he thinks marriage will change him."
Change him?! This is so deep.
Can you imagine that the man you love and are going to spend your life with has never been dedicated to you? NEVER!?! Not a slip up, because sometimes a slip up occurs. But a regular intimate relationship with another woman?
Then Chicago. How dumb is she going to feel? When he stops effing her? Or if he continues to eff her during his marriage, to know she was never good enough to be serious with?
But mainly lets discuss this dude Reggie?! How completely and utterly selfish of him?! To be so unfaithful and only think of himself. How can he really think this is going to work? Something is not satisfied in him, if he feels the need to continue to eff Chicago. Why not just wait it out? Why the rush?! Sow them oats! Put a hold on commitment.
But I ask you all out there, is it possible for Reggie to really change and become faithful just because he jumped the broom?
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
So after much thought, prayer, and discussion with people I love I have decided to return to the US after my year abroad in South Korea. There are many things that brought me to this decision, aside from chronic bouts of homesickness. (The holidays were extremely tough for me over here.) However, the experience in this foreign land has been unmatched by anything else I have done and has taught me a lot about a different part of the world and more importantly about MYSELF!
Some of my reasons for returning to the states
1) The more time that I spend not working in my profession the harder it will be for me to re-enter. I have worked in my field for 3 years and have been out of college for almost 4. I am ready to get back to trying to hustle my way into publishing through photography as well as continuing to produce my own work and freelance.
2) There are some things happening in my personal life at a rapid pace that I would like to give my attention to at home. (Details in a later entry)
3) Living in South Korea is like being in college. Eventually you have to graduate. I see many people who get complacent in this environment. Kind of like that person in college who just never leaves. They just keep taking classes, starting new majors or whatever they must do to stay. And they are always partying! There are no real worries or cares here. You have to go to work, just like you have to at least go to class in college to not be a complete and utter failure. However, when you are not doing that all you do is party and travel. You forget about having real responsibilities such as paying rent and actually taking work seriously. Best Bup was just saying how she gets mad when people ask her to do something at work. Like "What I'm on vacation! Oh wait...no this is my job huh?.....damn!" Not saying all people who extend their stay in Korea are complacent because that is not the case. But I do not want to stay here because I am afraid to come back home and make my life work.
4) I still have a stream of income to sustain me until I find a job!
That being said I have done and seen things in Korea that I am truly blessed to have had the opportunity to experience. I can honestly say that I see the difference in the student's I have taught over the past year and how their English has improved and how their demeanor towards me has become so warm. I will truly miss them. In addition I will miss and always treasure the many relationships that I have formed with people I have met here. There are far too many to name in this post but they have all had impacts in my life and taught me some life lessons that I will always value.
30 days until my return to U.S. soil :-)
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
So is this what ousted Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich really thinks of the black experience?
He told Esquire magazine, for its February issue: "I'm blacker than Barack Obama. I shined shoes. I grew up in a five-room apartment. My father had a little laundromat in a black community not far from where we lived. I saw it all growing up." (Click here to read more.)
Perhaps Blagojevich thought he was saying something positive about himself by presenting his “bona fides,” but the statement simply is insulting. Not that we should expect anything else from the governor who was removed from office last year, accused of trying to sell Obama’s U.S. Senate seat.
Or maybe Blagojevich just said what a lot people believe: that the black experience is extraordinarily narrow and most African Americans are simply cut from the same cloth.
In the interview, Blagojevich, referring to the president as "this guy," says Obama was elected based simply on hope. "What the (expletive)? Everything he's saying's on the teleprompter." The White House refused to comment.
Early Monday morning, Blagojevich apologized, adding that what he said was "stupid, stupid, stupid."
For the record---I would venture to say many blacks have not shined anyone’s shoes, except their own.
Blagojevich continues to prove that he's certainly cruder than, well, most people.What do you think?
Before I go any further, "I grew up in the 'burbs. In a 6 bedroom house. My parents owned 2 cars, and I ate a square meal every night.' Does this mean my black card will be revoked? You tell me.
Can you believe the audacity of this ish coming out of people mouth's these days? Add this too.
Sen. Harry Reid "believed that the country was ready to embrace a black presidential candidate, especially one such as Obama - a 'light-skinned' African American 'with no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one" - NEGRO DIALECT? Seriously. 2010!!!
How dare folks question folks authenticity and act like their upbringing allows them to trump the President or anyone, by pulling the race card?
Blagojevich is wild, and in the words of Paul Mooney, "Everyone wants to be a nigga but nobody wants to be a nigga."
I know we all have on deep rooted thoughts and prejudices, but in 2010 I just hoped people would think before they say such things.