Thursday, July 30, 2009

Cash Rules

One of the best things about visiting a foreign land, is that you realize America is selling you sh!t on a platter. Granted we have many luxuries in the U.S that may not be so easily obtained elsewhere, I am pretty sure 75% of us could get over it.

We are having a crisis here that I am doubtful we are going to be able to change. What we need is a change in the American mentality of how we view money. Credit, Loans, the concept of making money off money, are all things we need to adjust.

In Ghana, CASH RULES. Credit! PFFt! YEA Right. Yea you can get it. Yea you can take a loan. But its going to be a 42% interest rate and by the way that's 42% monthly. Can't no one afford that! So everyone lives within their means. Everyone has a strong entrepreneurial spirit. From selling extensions cords on Spintex Road ( a Road in Accra, Ghana), To running kiosks in the dark African night with one lit candle. People are doing what they can do to get CASH.

One of the key differences that stood out the most to me is building a house. There is not a concept of mortgage, therefore no concept of foreclosures. When one wants to build a house, it takes years. Why? Cus you pay what you to got and build up to how much you can afford. A neighbor in Ghana has taken 8 years and she is still not complete. When money comes, she builds.

I wonder if Americans, now suffering through this recession in which credit and loans are largely to blame , would be able to take this approach? I am not that smart to figure out how we would transition, so skip that part in your response. Just ask yourself, could you live by cash only?

Monday, July 27, 2009

Porn Stars Ruin it For Good Girls

Call me a Prude, Tight A$, whatever, but this AGE of everyone is a Porn star sh!t is getting on my GOT damn nerves.
Since when has it become acceptable for a man to turn his nose up at me or look at me like a Pastor looks at a member who has not been to church in 3 months because:

"Do you do girl on girl?"
I shook my head and said "No , Of course Not."

"Will you let me Cum on your eyelid?"
I say,"FI say,"FI say,"FI say,"F$&^K NO!"amp;^K NO!"amp;^K NO!"
"Well, let me stick it in your arm flap?"
I say, "Ni@@A PLEASE!!!"

More and more I meet guys that are completely demanding sexually, like all that extra sh!t is the fU@!#kng normal.

MotherF%&KER it is not! I am not going to be your Pinky, Cherokee D'ass, Carmen Hayes, or Heather Hunter!

Men all the sudden have this movement where they want to stick it in every hole, and squirt their lil Soulja juice everywhere??

I mean really, was it not enough that you are now allowed to stick your penis in mouths??

This is not PORNHUB. We are dealing with reality, and I don't f#%king know you like that for you to be busting hot jizz in my motherf$@#ing $300 Weave. Just so you can have a great 60 seconds or less!


Now let me clear things up. Do not get me wrong here. Intimacy grows and excels as you get to know and build affections for individual. If you got a S.O and you all have EVOLVED into some private(or public) porn stars. Hats off to you CUMrades. F#@#king let him cum on your f%%king pinky toe for all I care. What boggles me, is what happened to the idea of BUILDING and getting better with time?

The expectations that folks have these days for sex are RIDAMNdiclous ... at least to me...the only Prude left in DC.

Friday, July 24, 2009

I Vote No To the Race Card

I know many of us already have heard the story, read, or watched something about how Henry Louis “Skip” Gates got unfairly thrown in jail for Racial profiling!

Now before we all draw conclusions, on fair or unfair, justice served or not, please read Skip's Account and the Police Report.

Skip "Is this how it feels to be a black Man in America" Account


Officer "Loud and Tumultuous Behavior = Disorderly Conduct" Report

Now please enjoy my VLOG on MY OPINION!!

I just want to make it clear, in case the video was not, that I am NOT saying this incident was SKIP's Fault. I do believe the officer was out of line, and instigated an offense from Skip in response to Skip asking for the badge number. Regardless, it is also my opinion that this was not a race issue.

Aight. Tell what your POV?! Let's Discuss!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Are you leveraging your network or just looking for a hook up?

Howdie do:

Scene 1:
Lia and Ashley are planning a vacation to Las Vegas. They are looking to find a place to stay, but want to save as much money as possible. Knowing a close contact who works in Operations at the Bellagio, they hit him up to ask him, if he can get them a room there for cheap. He actually wants to smash Lia, so he says, I got you, I can get you in here for $60/night and a free spa treatment. Lia does not want to smash him, she takes his offer, but when she arrives does not have time to hang out with him and spends most of her time on the casino floor or in the club.

Scene 2:
Lia and Ashley are roommates and planning a housewarming. They would love to have the event catered. They know a guy named Chris who owns a restaurant called Catfish Fridays. They call him up about catering the event, he agrees to the do the event. After receiving the invoice, Lia is upset because there was no discount applied, she tells Ashley that they need to speak with Chris. Chris obliges at 30% discount because of the contact.

Scene 3:
Lia and Ashley are planning a bachelorette party in Vegas. They need to coordinate everything for their girlfriend who is marrying a famous basketball player. You may know him, Richard J. They are behind schedule because of work commitments, but do not want to do a half job on the event. Lia remembers that she knows a guy whom she met a few months back who works at the Bellagio. She calls him up and asks him, although, late notice could he provide them with a suite for 12 girls in two weeks. Her contact, although put in a bind, gets her an executive suite which comes with a couple complimentary bottles of champagne. Ashley also recalls that she has been to several events that were catered by Catfish Fridays and on one occasion met the owner. She shoots him an email asking if he would be available to cater the event and organize logistics for getting the food to the room with the Bellagio contact. He agrees.

Here's my point. Too often, I see Black folk looking for a hookup, but not leveraging their network. People always want something for free, but are really selfish when you have to pay for it. I bet that both of their contacts at the Bellagio and Catfish Fridays will throw them a discount because they appreciate the business, but it is more important that we support our people and our network than we exploit it. "No taking from the table, if you giving nothing to it." The result of this exploitation leads many buppies to just stop messing with the network and not give anything to anyone. However, people who leverage their network always are able to pick up the phone and their contacts make it their business to assist.

I look at it this way. Out here in DC, we go out all the time. I know a lot of promoters and I used to throw parties with my partner Dwayne a few years back. You always get people trying to get into parties for free. When a promoter gets those texts it's really annoying and disappointing. Peoples should always want to come through and support, even if they have to pay, just to show love. However, if you have a group of friends in town and they looking to step out. Call up that same promoter and say, hey all my girlfriends are in town and we looking to go out tonight. We're thinking about heading out at 11PM, are you doing something that we can stop by at? I guarantee you that he'll hit you back like, I got a party at Park tonight, how many of y'all is it? I'll put you on the list.

Moral of the story: You scratch my back, i'll scratch yours.

Keep it 100.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Embarrassed to Be a Foreigner

So last weekend here in South Korea I experienced Mudfest. This event in South Korea brings more foreigners than most and is a lot of fun. And it is exactly what is sounds like...a festival full of MUD! Fun times. Now there is no law in SK about walking around with an open container of alcohol. Koreans love to drink and are quite often outside stumbling around drunk. However, can you imagine around 5,000 openly drunk Americans in a 5-6 block radius of South Korea? SMH it was a mess.

The residents of Daechon Beach in Boryeong probably dread the time of year when all of these damn foreigners come to disturb the peace. I am sure the local businesses love it. But I was just noticing some of the faces of the people who appeared to live there and they looked frightened or disgusted. Americans were beligerently drunk, littering, throwing up, fighting etc. (Koreans were acting crazy too but it was mostly Americans being that we were the majority at this event.) It was literally a circus. One such event that sticks out in my mind is a guy with his testes hanging out of his trunks screaming at the top of his lungs, "YEAH MY BALLS ARE OUT!" On another occasion an older Korean gentleman asked a guy to pull his pants up because he was sagging a little bit and the guy proceeds to pull down his pants and slap his ass in this older gentleman's face and say, "How ya like that?"

Now the event was fun and I did enjoy myself. However, it made me think about how Americans are viewed abroad. How much responsibilty do we have to not act like complete assholes and to respect other people's land and culture?

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Buppie Don't: Jon and Kate Plus 8

This show used to irk the F%$K out of me. They had too many dang on Kids, and their lives were beyond chaotic. But KATE's a$$... OOOMG KATE's A$$!.

BITCH WAS CRAZY. She was clearly obsessive compulsive.One thing I noticed since the beginning was she wore the pants in the family. She treated Jon like a Second Class citizen. $5 a day allowance! Dang...

Here is the Buppie Don't:

1. Do Not Stifle a MAN.

Important for us Buppie Women who got alot going on by our dammie! We got the money clothes and the cars. We are successful..(Thanks Drake) But lets not nag and hold our position over a man. We have to learn when to let a Man be a Man.

But MEN, you better not be no punkass like Jon!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Can our small circle really afford our lifestyles?

This will be a short blog.

Have we ever thought if our circles can really afford our dating lifestyles? I think that every buppie has seen that our circle is small. Everyone knows everyone. And when that happens it's extremely hard to date because you feel that if it doesn't work out you end up losing a part of your circle. So how do we date? I think it comes down to a few things, they have been stated before, but let's state them again;

We all need to exhibit a sense of maturity in dating. Often times, we have this childish approach to dating. You have to acknowledge that sometimes it won't work out, but that doesn't mean you have to completely dead that contact. People need to be able to take the good with the bad. You just aren't compatible with everyone. And what that means is that sometimes you will date people and it won't work out. Don't be childish and start calling that person grimy and how your friends shouldn't eff with them because you don't anymore. Grow up and be an adult, you tried, you failed, it is what it is.

As determined people in our professions we like a plan. Well sometimes things will not go to plan. We need to be able to move on from that. Our plan for our dating life will not always go the way we want them to go. We will have to compromise, we will have to as Luther says, Wait For Love. Honestly, people will think that someone is not that into them because they don't spend every waking moment with them. Or they don't respond to every text message. Acknowledge that people are busy and there is no pre-requisite that they reply to each one of your text messages or communication. As long as you're moving forward don't become impatient.

Well people this is my last note, but in conclusion realize that your priorities are different. A girl may be trying to get her professional career together and she doesn't have time to see you everyday, and vice versa. Know that in a 60 hour work week, when the weekend comes there are plenty of people in the network that have to be seen. There will be weekends when you want to see your boo, but he just wants to see his friends. He may have other commitments and so may you. Now we all know that we all make time for what we want to make time for. But I think it's fair for me to say, a girl/boy may not be the top priority for a buppie. My lively-hood will be here regardless of some significant other and I treat it as such.

These are my unsolicited thoughts. But what say you, agree or disagree?

Dr. J

The doors of the church are now open.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Keep God to Yourself

Sent to me from a buppie friend.

"I interviewed a very talented, intelligent woman this morning. We had a great conversation and I thought she'd be a good fit. She answered every question thoroughly and seemed to be genuinely interested in working here. Well, she had another interview scheduled with a different administrator directly after our interview and that's where things went wrong. After the second interview, the administrator immediately came to my office to debrief about the interviews. Before I could say anything, she started telling me how wacky and weird the candidate was. I was completely thrown off because I had just met her and thought she was great. She says the interview started out well enough but the candidate got too comfortable. It turns out that the candidate mentioned God in one of her responses. She said something like, "I really believe that God has brought me to this particular postion because of xyz." Now, to you and me, that probably isn't too bad. However, to my colleague, it indicated that the candidate was a Jesus freak and way too "out there" to work at a place like ours. Now, if it matters, my colleague is a white, lesbian and atheist. The candidate was a young, black, Christian (I assume). So, I say all of that to say, unless you are interviewing at a religious institution, check your God talk at the door. This young lady will miss out on a great opportunity because she misjudged her audience. Maybe it's not fair but it's the way of the world."

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Why is it that Black urban professionals get money and then become Republicans?

I've been trying to explain this to folks for about a year now, but after talking with more and more people I think i've developed three very good reasons. Check them out below.

1) Taxes
"The federal tax code is dysfunctional. It penalizes hard work, marriage, thrift, and success — the very factors that are the foundations for lasting prosperity."
- GOP Platform 2000

If you take issue with this statement, you must be broke. I can see all arguments for why I will benefit from the programs that my taxes go to pay, however, wouldn't it be better if I put money into a fund that actually benefited my demographic. The percentage of programs that benefit the wealthy versus the poor are completely skewed. Meaning, the people who put the most money into the system get the least out of it. And do NOT give me that argument about its for the less fortunate, because to me that says that taxes are now forced charitable contributions. BuLLSH*T. And if that's the case that they are forcing my charitable contributions, then i'd like a line item approach to federal programs, because I can tell you right now, there's a few that I do not want my money going to.

To be perfectly honest with the American people, taxes are a means of income for the United States of America. Let's be real. So my government is supposed to take care of me, but it takes from me so it can survive before I can survive? Good job, Sammy boy. You can keep trying to bamboozle the rest of these fools.

2) Conservativism
Most Buppies will not get to wealth by engaging in liberal careers. Most, some will, but most will not. The majority will end up in Professional Services of some sort; financial services, consulting services, or some service based industry. Others will gain wealth in a sales industry, but that's few and far between. Others will gain wealth by owning their own businesses. However, at some point they will realize that sound decisions are not made radically, but with a tone of conservatism. You will find that these successful buppies in America had to travel the road often travelled. They don't reinvent the wheel, they do what they knew would always work. A lot of us would love to major in English and become a writer and make the NY Best Sellers list. In reality, the person who decides to get his MBA and go to Wall Street is more likely to make it rich.

3) The GOP has always been thought of as a party for the wealthy, not the poor. Quite frankly, we isn't poor, no more.
This is my favorite point. The Democratic party for which we have hung our hat on for so long is that of our parents. It's not ours. We feel differently now. We have different needs and desires from our party. When I was growing up, people in my community always said, Republican make the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. Well when I was poor, I hated Republicans, once I am rich, i'm all about that strategy because it benefits me. And in recent years you have seen a switch in the Black urban professional. We are no longer fighting to just be low to mid-middle class citizens, we are becoming ridiculously upper-middle class and wealthy. Our fiscal and political needs have changed.

In conclusion, i'm not saying that someone should be Democratic or Republican. I'm writing this article ask that we examine our issues and see if the political party that we usually vote for is actually the one best fit to serve our needs. I'm asking that we look at the individual platforms of each party. Not just prominent figures like Obama and GW Bush, who represent the upper echelon of the parties and not the majority of what either party stands for. It's funny that more and more Black people are aligning themselves with GOP, yes i'll agree to that, but it is not completely unfounded and not based. I think it's more funny that MOST Black people vote Democratically and have no clue why. (I blame their parents). Just my thoughts.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Online Dating

Times are a Changing!!! It seems everyday in my buppie-dom, I hear about someone hooking up or getting married due to an online dating site.

I do not judge others who do chose to E date, I really hesitate when it comes to signing myself up. Number one, I am not trying to pay fees, and Number two, honestly it makes me feel vulnerable. I mean what if I see someone I know on there? What are they going to think of me? I am desperate, right?

WRONG. I signed up and saw millions of people, and oddly enough I saw some familiar faces! And of course when that happened I deleted my account!

E- dating is like the elephant in the room. It is there..just aint no one talking about how they are doing it.

The topic of E-dating lends its self to deeper discussion. Perhaps it is the way things need to be.
You list exactly what you want, and hit search. Wow that's easy.

While, I am not on my edating phase in life, I do respect it. It is RAW! It crossed borders and time zones and completely opens up your possibilities of connecting with that individual.

Often times its hard to find someone on the same page as you. Who is just real and upfront about wants and needs. One person wants to be serious, one person wants to just smash.. E Dating pretty much avoids this conflict, because instead of the coy dating scene of "Real Life" you straight advertise what you are looking for. Looking for Marriage..or Looking for a FWB (friend with benefits). This make such sites an EXCELLENT tool. It makes sense. Pursue a relationship with someone who just as serious as you are, right?

E dating makes you drop the superficial ish at the door. Looks really are not everything. How many people do you meet a day that meet your exact physical requirements and are single? E dating is camera tricks. Just because the person has a cute pic up does that mean they are really cute. This forces one to go beyond skin deep.

E dating helps you get to the point faster. No need to continue dating, or wasted nights with folks who do not peak your interest. On that first meeting you already know if its going to work out. And if it does not work, its an easy out. No hassle. No BS.

Ultimately, whatever dating you chose to do, you have to put yourself of there a bit. E dating makes sense for those looking for specific type of relationships. It forces you to truly look deep and identify what you really want from a mate. 300 questions worth of identification! If anything that part is valuable....