Tuesday, December 30, 2008

The Kwanzaa E-Card

So before I went on vacation last week I got an e-card from a co-worker whom I very rarely converse with and do not know very well. It was wishing me a Happy Kwanzaa! I was immediately taken aback because I do not celebrate Kwanzaa and was wondering if I had done something, besides being born Black, to make this person think that I do celebrate Kwanzaa. Now in the past my mother and I, like many Black families, experimented with Kwanzaa with some neighboring families but realized it was not our cup of tea. I still sometimes get Kwanzaa cards from Black friends who I know celebrate the holiday. Hell, I even helped to put Kwanzaa celebrations together, not really knowing what I was doing, while I was in college. I'd book a room, or help get funding so the campus could be aware of Kwanzaa. Yet and still I did not celebrate the holiday.

My best bup told me about one time during the holidays she was walking out of Wal-mart and the Salvation Army person ringing the bell made a point to say her way, "Happy Kwanzaa!" Of course best bup had the wtf face. In my situation I politely responded back to my co-worker that I do not celebrate Kwanzaa. The person immediately responded apologetically. Like why not just say "Seasons Greetings" or "Happy Holidays" just to be safe and politically correct?! I don't wish all White people Happy Hanukkah because it is wrong and absurd to assume that all Whites are Jewish. So why assume that all Blacks celebrate Kwanzaa? Then I thought too this person really thought they were doing something special for me by wishing me a Happy Kwanzaa because I asked a few people around the office and no one else got an e-card except me and another Black woman who works in our office. (She does not celebrate Kwanzaa either so we shared a private laugh about the matter.)

Is it really the thought that counts and if so WTF was this person thinking?

Thursday, December 25, 2008

FICO Broke During The Holidays

I am realizing that I am not a a festive person! I credit that to the way I was raised. Holidays were such a pain. I hated putting up trees. I hated going Christmas shopping. The only part I truly enjoy is the family getting together! What fun it is to be with your siblings, cousins, family friends just laughing and appreciating each other! The more I mature the more I count on these moments and less on receiving gifts.

Gifts are so minuscule. One thing that truly pains me is receiving useless and all around bad gifts. My mother is infamous for this. So I avoid doing what blows me. I give gift cards. The thought that I did not want to give you something useless, counts!

BUT this year. argh. BROKE. not even really broke but its a...I rather pay my bills than spend money on you broke. I guess that is FICO BROKE??? You all know what I mean. You look at your rent, you insurance for the new year, etc. and rationalize that this year your going to play the broke card, cus you just rather spend the money on yourself*!(FICO WORTHY)

*This excludes, accruing more debt. That is not FICO BROKE. That is Foreclosure BROKE. Not Cute Bups!

Anyway, the underlying point is in this day and age we really have to appreciate what we have. (I happen to have bills! LOL JK)

Whatever you celebrate, do not let the material things rule you! Enjoy the Holidays with the people you love Bups, and Be Safe!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008


I do not trust these low GAS prices. How could GAS be $1.79 when just 4 months ago it was 4.79??? mmph. Sure Sure Gas companies. I know the reason why you are low balling now is because it is "Tis the SEASON". Probably every industry was calling each GAS CEO like, LET me get a little bit of that consumer ish. Stop being selfish!

Am I the only one who suspects that, After NEW YEARS, these companies are going back in for the kill?

Real talk, even though gas has decreased, the recession aint been getting no easier. People are still losing jobs, and folks still cannot afford to pay for their homes!

So after the season, and they raise prices back to $5.00, who will be their audience? Way less folks! I know for me, I plan only to be leaving my house to drive twice a week. Given that my company is HIP to the AGE. Telecommuting is very much in! Living in the city also has it benefits and I am really bout to get hip with the BUS!

We have got to fight back! We control the prices, not them!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Go Get My Business Card, N!GG3R!

About a week ago, a tragic incident occurred at work. A man was having a epileptic attack.

As I was walking toward my desk, someone ran up to me and frantically ask, "Do you know CPR?"

Quickly I responded "Yes, and little bit." I had to rehearse the steps in my head because CPR class was like 9th grade.

After running the halls to find the dude, I walk into a room to find this dude laid out on the floor surrounded by 3 co-workers, one of which was the VP of my segment. Everyone is huddled up on him.

I keep him calm, as he was not unconscious but he was clearly out of it. Another woman who was clearly more familiar of what to do in these situations, quickly talked to his wife, got his medications, etc. My role than became to console him, ensure he was breathing, and watch his pulse.

So EMS finally comes. All us extras move out the room, and watch EMS do their thing.

There is a crowd outside. We are all standing watching. I am for sure the only Black person within a mile. Looking like a tootise roll in a bag of flour! My VP leans over to me and says, "Can you do me a favor, Can you go to my desk and get me my business card. I want to give it to his Wife."

Of course I say, yes. In transit though, i really wonder why me? Out of all the folks standing around. He chose me to go run back and get his business card? Not the dude closer to him, who he was carrying a convo with. He breaks his convo, to say "HEY go fetch my cards, pick a pale of cotton while you at it!"

Am I tripping? I, the lone black girl who raaaaaan to the rescue of this unconscious white male, and now I have to go fetch some MOTHEREFFIN business cards????

So I bring them to him. He says thank you and does his VP thing. I just know he would at least thank me, and ask my name right? NOPE. EMS packs homeboy up. Praise the lord he is ok. Everyone disperses to their normal routine.

CORPORATE FOUL? ? I think so!


IF I threw it, I would not have missed...!

Obviously we all have seen this news report.

In Iraq, throwing shoes at someone is a sign of disrespect. Seems similar to the the middle finger in the US. thus the reporter was more so disrespecting Bush, than trying to physically harm him. (Even though both would have been great!)

Makes sense though. Shoes are some of the dirtiest things ever. And so is GW.

Anyway, this speaks to my Boy Obama's points. We have lost our place in the world. I mean this reporter threw a shoe at the US President? and you know what? 90% of Americans don't even give a fuck , and you know what 90% of the other countries secretly wish some from their country was brave enough to do it!

Just for another country to have the audacity to do this, shows the US aint even as hard as it used to be. Its analogous saying,"W e aint shyt."

Now, let that had been OBAMA. Man, me and my whole Neighborhood would have Flew to IRAQ and gave dude a good ole West Coast 10 Crpyts vs 1 Blood Beating!


The Upward March to 25

So it seems that nowadays 25 is this huge milestone age in which you must shape up and really know the direction in which your life needs to be going. The Close Confidant always laughs when I say this and tells me how young I am and how I do not need to be worrying about knowing every turn my life needs to make at this point. However, as one prepares for an age when you car insurance lowers, because you are supposed to be a more responsible adult, it does make you think like hmmm what am I doing on this ride called life?

According to some stats this is what is going on with many 25 year olds:

26% of people age 25 and over have completed four years or more of college in the United States (1)

4 million people between the ages of 25 and 34 live with their parents (1)

In the United States, the average age of marriage for men is 27 and for women 25 (up from 23 and 21 in 1970). Furthermore, research shows that many members of this generation reach the age of 35 without having attained the 1980s conception of a family: married, two kids and a minivan.” (1)

Between the ages of
25 and 34, individuals are in a range of different lifestages. It is a time when the lines between the values of being young and the values of being parents are blurred. Two-thirds are married or co-habiting, but the remaining third are still very much single. (2)

25-34s aren’t all getting married and having kids. Some are settling down while others are still enjoying their independence. (2)

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Here are some of my personal goals as I embark on 25.....

1) Grad School- I have been putting this off for a while but in order to realistically get to where I want to be in life it seems this is a necessity in my field. A bachelors is like equivalent to a h.s. diploma these days. All this debt for a damn glorified h.s. diploma!!! SMDH Time to make the next steps in higher education.

2) Live Abroad- It has always been my dream before I settle down, get married, and have children to live outside the US. I am indifferent on where as long as I can get a hot shower in doors and it is not too dangerous. I just want to be able to say I have experienced another culture and be able to talk about all the things I experienced with my family. You only get one life and I want mine to be lived to the fullest. I am developing this plan now and will expand upon this in a later post.

3) No longer entertaining toxic people- In the last few years since graduating college I have realized that I have entertained a lot of toxic people trying to change them or make myself more acceptable to them. FOR WHAT?! I guess maturity makes you realize how dumb this is and how easy it is to grow out of it. I am growing out of dealing with toxic people really quickly. If you are too judgemental, always complaining, make too many DUMB mistakes over and over, always want to argue I can't be bothered. I am a happy person and I refuse to let someone else's negativity bring me down. I understand people have negative spells, myself included, so I wont judge anyone's struggle. What I am talking about is constant toxins in your life that are NOT changing. Life is too damn short!

4) Invest- So I gotta get my money right. I am just now emerging out of the careless credit card debt I made in college so I am feeling liberated! Now it is time to figure out how to make my money GROW! I want to be able to retire before 60 so I need to get on this movement. Granted I have a company 401K but that junk seems useless to me. Maybe I just look at it too often so it doesn't seem to be accumulating at the pace that I'd like. Either way I am looking for some other ways to invest my money to make it grow and also not having to worry about the economy taking another plunge and the government taking it!

5) Become more spiritually in tune- This makes me happy PERIOD! Over the past year I have really been sticking to my nightly routine of reading my Bible every night when I am at home. This is the foundation of my happiness and gives me the ultimate insight on the person I want to be. I think with maturity and understanding, for me personally, spirituality and becoming a woman of faith is the core of my growth. Therefore I am trying to make strides to do this. I am FAR from the perfect Christian but hey, I am trying.

Monday, December 15, 2008

The Takeover (And the BS that comes with it)

So I work for a company that has been bought out by the competition. We were informed about it a few months ago so everyone in the office has been in a bit of a panic especially due to the current economic state of our nation and the job market. Me being a smart young woman I pretty much know what this could possibly mean, we may all be out of jobs very soon. This was confirmed when my boss told her team to update our resumes and to start looking. I have already planned my next move so I am not worried about it. However, as I stated earlier people are kind of panic stricken around the office.

But there are certain things about this particular situation that really burn my cookies. First off I am so sick of the big bosses trying to psych everyone out like we may not lose our jobs just so people will continue to work. Now granted I know this acquisition will take time and business must go on but there is a certain level of bs that I think just needs to be cut PERIOD! Like please be real with us. We know the track record of the company that bought us and we are not the first competitor they have acquired. And their track record shows that they don't keep people in the acquired companies. Granted we are their biggest acquisition I just think that people are being psyched into not having a plan b. I stopped going to the weekly meetings to update us about this matter because A) I can hear it from my desk and still work and B) They just feed us a bunch of crap. Luckily I have a boss that keeps it all the way real and tells us like it is.

As you can probably guess people are dropping like flies. Like everyday there is a company wide email sent out stating that someone is leaving the company. And at the end of every email there is a note that reads:
"Blank's departure has nothing to do with the current pending acquisition."

WHY YOU LYING?! It has everything to do with it. Five people quit this week and seven last week and you are going to tell me that none of these cases have shit to do with this acquisition?! Then yall need to to work on your retention cuz yall SUUUUCK! Liars!

I have also noticed how many people just don't give a damn anymore at work and it is quite amusing. People are loud as hell on the phone setting up interviews. People are watching youtube instead of doing their work. The smokers are taking longer and more frequent smoke breaks. People are taking 2 hour lunches, having longer personal calls, and just slacking all around. No one takes anything serious anymore and the big bosses are PISSED but they can't afford to fire anyone because they want to keep business going and too many people are leaving.

Ooooh Corporate America

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Women are posessesed so Men must adjust.

A few weeks ago I was talking to my brother about an issue with Hit or Miss Guy. I was going on and on about how he had once again pissed me right on off and how I didn't want to deal with him any longer. Now I listen to my bro vent about his girlfriend ALL THE TIME! And I never say ANYTHING! Even though sometimes I disagree with what he is saying I listen to him and give him my honest opinion. But during my random rant suddenly my brother screams "UGH STOP BEING SUCH A GIRL!" I was confused. So I asked him what he meant. He attempted to explain to me that I was overreacting and the dude had a valid excuse for what I was angry about. However, I said I did not care because there is ALWAYS an excuse so I am still mad. My brother than goes on to say that he hates when I go into "girl mode." It reminds him that even though we discuss sports , his sexcapades, and the other random guy things, I am still a woman.

Men get exhausted when we vent. My brother says it is literally exhausting and taxing to listen to and afterwards he personally doesn't even want to talk anymore. It's just a fact of life. Whether it be a friend or a significant other a woman going on and on about her feelings is exhausting for a man. Now I will actively listen to a man talk about issues that are bothering him or just his random stories, particularly if I care about him. But for most guys returning this favor is an extreme chore. My brother says it goes beyond listening to a woman it is about simply accommadating her endless needs. He exclaimed, "Honestly I just think yall are possessed!" Our conversation ended up switching to issues with his girlfriend and how he has began to accommodate certain things she says and does because it keeps her happy and he is learning how to pick his battles.

The Close Confidant (CC) explained to me and my brother that later in life men learn how to shut up and let a woman have their way on certain things by picking their battles. However, many young men have yet to figure this out and it comes with maturity and security within a relationship whether it be a friendship or more. The CC than goes on a slight tangent and says, "See I like to think for myself therefore I will never be married." He tells my brother that being married for a man means that to an extent he can longer think for himself because a woman is going to insist on doing it for him. (I told my brother that if he really wants to someday be in a lasting relationship The CC may not be the best person to listen to. After all he is a 55 year old bachelor who is happy that way. LOL)

My two closest male friends went on to reinforce the fact when you are in a relationship you just have to compromise on everything because women are such emotional beings. Here are some examples that a few guy friends took pleasure in venting to me:

Example 1: My girlfriend sleeps like a toddler. She kicks, takes the covers, and hits me in the middle of the night. Now I used to go and sleep on the floor after I knew she was asleep. However, she would wake up in the middle of the night and ask why I was not in the bed with her and then would come down on the floor and sleep next to me. So now I hold her at night until she goes to sleep because she likes that shit and chances are I stay in the bed and endure her abuse. Now when I wake up in the morning I don't lie in bed. I go into the living room and watch Sports Center. Now she follows me in there and asks why I got out of bed and wants to lay RIGHT ON TOP of me! Like can I ever get any space?! It's never enough!

Example 2: My girlfriend calls me like 8 times a day and honestly I just dont have that much shit to say. I mean we talk EVERYDAY so why must we constantly be on the phone?! So I tell her let me call you back. And she's like whyyyyyyy? Like man because I am watching the game. You act like I aint gonna talk to your ass before bed and like we aint already spoke 5 times today! WTF?! So the next day I wil call her out the blue just to tell her I love her because I know she likes that shit. EXHAUSTING!

Example 3: So my girlfriend goes out of town for the weekend so I make plans with some of my friends. Now she doesn't know many of my friends because we have not been dating for that long. So she calls and I am out clearly at a bar because it is LOUD. So she asks who I am out with. And I say some friends. She's like who? So I'm like man, WHY?! You do not know them anyway so why you want me to run a bunch of names of people you don't even know. Besides can't you hear that it is loud as hell in here?! I am not trying to have a full blown convo right now! Why aren't you somewhere enjoying yourself after all you are out of town. She then slams down the phone and I am like man what is her deal?!

This all made me think, damn are we that hard to figure out and accommodate?! The dudes I spoke with about the matter sounded exhausted. Granted they were for the most part happy in their relationships, they say that there is constantly something you have to do to just shut a woman up.

I don't know. Bups male and female I am curious to hear your thoughts...

Saturday, December 6, 2008

AIDS: D.C.'s Silent Stalker of Women


Original Here

AIDS: D.C.'s Silent Stalker of Women

By Courtland Milloy
Wednesday, December 3, 2008; B01

Can we talk frankly about HIV/AIDS and black women?

No? I didn't think so.

After all, who cares to tell sassy little Keisha that if she doesn't stop mistaking sex for love, her next mistake could be her last. Of course, that wouldn't be "age appropriate," now, would it?

What about the Widow Jones? Since her husband passed, she has been dating again. Will somebody please tell her that her new dude is on the down low -- surreptitiously having sex with men -- then bringing it to bed with her?

Can't do that, either. Why meddle in her business? After all, AIDS is only the fourth-leading cause of death for black women ages 45 to 54. Let the good sister have her fun -- while it lasts.

You might have noticed that I'm focusing on women and AIDS. Speaking frankly, that's because it's up to women to save their own lives. When it comes to sexually transmitted diseases, too many men are not trying to protect you. Most of the time, they are just trying to have sex.

Quite frankly, you would have thought more women would have caught on by now.

In the District, the number of women living with AIDS increased by more than 76 percent in six years -- nine out of 10 of them black women. The primary modes of transmission: heterosexual men who turned out to be IV drug users, ex-convicts who'd been having sex with men in prison, bisexual men posing as heterosexuals and outright dogs who make a sport of sexual conquest.

Here's another reason I'm talking to women: The District accounts for 9 percent of all pediatric AIDS cases in the United States. Blame the man all you want, but it's the mother and child who suffer most.

Despite two decades of advancement in the treatment of HIV/AIDS, "we're still struggling with how to teach people not to get infected," Don Blanchon, chief executive of the Whitman-Walker Clinic in Washington, said Monday at a candlelight vigil marking the 20th anniversary of World AIDS Day.

But how can we teach if we can't talk frankly?

There's certainly no shortage of public service announcements aimed at reducing infection rates among African Americans. But most consist of preachy platitudes, politically correct and "culturally sensitive" pablum: "Stay healthy." "AIDS is preventable."

The results should not be surprising.

"People know how to espouse what they heard, but for some reason it does not stick with them," Barbara Chinn, director of Whitman Walker Clinic's Max Robinson Center in Southeast Washington, told me recently. "They still look at prospective sex partners and say, 'They don't look infected.' "

Failure to tell it like it is -- that's what's really killing us.

"When assessing the HIV risk factors associated with African Americans, one particularly difficult area of debate is that of sexual behavior," said a recent report by Avert, an international AIDS charity. "For example, could the epidemic among African Americans be because, on average, they have more sex partners than Caucasians? Or because they have different, more risky, types of sex? Such questions may seem obvious, but trying to establish answers can be hard, especially when there is a danger that they could be interpreted as racist, or used in racist propaganda."

So let's just forget about the 2005 study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention that found that black teenagers were more likely to have had four or more sex partners than whites and Hispanics by the time they graduated from high school (or should have graduated), and that African American girls were more likely to have had partners who were significantly older than them. African Americans are also more likely to have concurrent partners -- that is, more than one partner at a time, which can make HIV transmission more likely to be passed on to more than one person, the study found.

If ever there was a case for unvarnished sex education in public schools, the ongoing AIDS epidemic in black America ought to be it. Instead of education, what we get more often than not is homophobic nonsense from the pulpits of our black churches.

The District has the highest rate of new reports of AIDS in the country, and the highest mortality rates to go along with it. But the horror of it all barely seeps into our collective conscience.

"While Africa is the global epicenter of HIV/AIDS infection," Chinn told me, "the District is the epicenter in this country, with infection rates in some neighborhoods east of the Anacostia River rivaling those in sub-Saharan Africa."

During a World AIDS Day interview with ABC News, President Bush called his international program to combat AIDS "one of the most important initiatives of my administration" and praised it as a success. More than 2 million people worldwide have received life-saving antiretroviral treatments since the initiative began in 2003, he said.

He made no mention of the AIDS epidemic raging in his own back yard.

Once again, mum's the word. Perhaps in the absence of frank talk, we could at least help young girls such as Keisha by getting them to serve a few weeks at an AIDS hospice. Careless sex would likely lose its sheen once they realize that their lovers could be the Grim Reaper in disguise.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

A Perpsective on a Woman's Right to Choose

KIDS! This is a serious, serious decision and investment. Women are made to bear this endeavor. Just like a jail sentence nine months to life.

While, I take my precautions when it comes to KIDS,(I pop my NuvaRing, like Cindy McCain pops pills! FAITHFULLY), I do realize that things happen, people are in different situations, etc etc.

All in All, I thoroughly believe in a woman's right to choose. I believe that such a decision is not something the Gov't should decide for us. It is not their role. Many conservatives would play the, you are killing someone arguement thus it is the Gov't role to protect life. This ultimately leads me to this,

When is a fetus determined to be a child? When are you taking a life?

My response is let's not make abortion a government, state or federal duty. It is none of their business! They should not interject themselves into my crouch. If a man chooses to bust hot ones in you, so what! Is this not America?? When did we lose rights?

In fact, if we are going to give the government a right our Vaginas, the least the conservatives in government can do is be consistent !?!

So when is a child a child?

I get pregnant today. My baby is not due until June. When am I able to claim a child as deduction on my taxes? When does the child become a citizen, an actual card carrying member of society?

No one exists to the government until they have Social Security card! Ask Elian Gonzalez!
When does a child get one? When the child is born! You see my logic here. This argument is not about when one considers a baby to be person. Because that thought process differs from person to person. Hence why abortion should be a personal decision!

To me it is funny how some feel the GOVERMENT should regulate this, when the GOVERNMENT in all other realms does not recongize a person as a person until that have 9 digits?

Monday, December 1, 2008

World Aids Day

So it is December 1st. Time for me to recruit one of my friends that has never had an AIDS test to get one. Well I do this all year around actually. It is truly shocking to me how many people I know that are sexually active but have never gotten an AIDS test. Like I know women who go annually to get a pap smear and men who make sure they don't have any other STD's but have never gotten an AIDS test. The latest thing I heard from a friend is, "Man c'mon I don't have AIDS. I don't have careless sex." So I asked him well do you get checked for other things and he answers, "Of course!" So I really got the wtf face on at this point like well uhhhh that doesnt make any sense. Needless to say I am draggin his ass to get an AIDS test TODAY! I told him I'd get one too.
I know it makes everyone nervous to do this but it is apart of maintaining your health. Especially if you are sexually active. Do a good deed for World Aids Day. Take a friend to get an HIV test. And if you have never had one go get one yourself.
For you DC Bups here are some links where you can get one done today:

Here are some other ways you can help on WAD:

Be safe everyone!

New Season, New Buppie

Fall is here and Winter is right behind! Quite frankly, after summer my entire mood changes. There is also a transformation of activities for us Buppie's to do. We must stay on our A+ GAME!! There is no other way.

I know all of us have been adjusting to the recession woes. Bottomline, we all have to cut budget.

So what is a Buppie to do, to maintain a lifestyle in a New Season?

Well here are somethings I do or have seen:

1. Social Networking.
Networking in person is cool, but we do have the internet. In the age of Facebook, Meetup.com, and Google Chat, you don't always have to catch a drink or dinner to stay in touch.

2. Read a Book! READ A BOOK!
If you do not have a library card, go get one. Push yourself to read one book for pleasure month. The library is free. The library also has free activities! Catch a book signing, or speaker.

3. Go See a Show.
Plays, Comedy Shows, Festivals. Some have cost, some don't. It's a great alternative to just clubbing/lounging scene yet is still very social.

4. Learn a Skill.
Up&Coming Buppie is learning Spanish. She is doing Rosseta Stone. Check out your Local YMCA. Join Toastmasters to work on your professional communication.

5. Revisit your Resolutions.
With less than 60 days left in the till the new year, Revisit your Resolutions! Are you doing the things you said? If not its not too late to turn it around!

6. Join a Gym.
You got to be healthy all year round. Start small. Sign up for a weekly class.

7. Travel light.
There is nothing wrong with a small road trip. Take the inexpensive bus or train. Go visit a friend you have not seen in a while.

8. Community Service.
I goal myself to at least do a service once a month. Give up one day to help someone. Adopt a family for the upcoming holidays. School Supplies for kids..something...

What else do you do in a New Season??