Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Swine Flu Hysterics

So H1N1 is alive and in FULL EFFECT in South Korea. It is spreading like a California wild forest fire. Seriously! Fellow bups teaching in South Korea have told me how their schools have been closed due to the frenzy of several kids having it. Teachers and principals are getting it. MAN! It is also on Korean news how it is spreading like crazy. Therefore many kids have been coming to the academy which I work at in masks such as these:

Now on any given day it is not uncommon to see Koreans in these masks, especially during the yellow dust season. However, recently the abundance of children coming to school with masks on has been ridiculous. Then a few things made me decide that it was time I got with the program and equipped myself with a mask.

1) The news has reported that in each city per day there are at least 700 possible new cases of swine flu. Now South Korea is VERY small and over populated. Everywhere you go there is a chance there will be a crowd of people in close proximity to one another. Therefore the virus is spreading at a much more rapid pace here. Not to mention Koreans share EVERY damn thing! For instance there is bar soap in PUBLIC bathrooms here. Ummm yeah I don't even have bar soap out for people to use in my home! Strictly liquid soap here. So hundreds of people a day touch this cesspool of germs. I can go on and on about the unsanitary things I see in Korea but I digress....

2) The other day a little bastard at my school thought it would be funny to call me over to his desk for help and then cough in my face ON PURPOSE! I smacked the SHIT out of this child. (It was reflexes. I was reprimanded later by my boss after his mother complained. I honestly aint give a flying F*CK. I bet he won't cough in anyone else's face.) I then went on to have a 15 minute tutorial in each of my classes about hand washing and how to properly cover your mouth. In addition everyone gets a squirt of hand sanitizer upon entry to my class and I Lysol the place down after their dirty asses leave!

3) One of my co-teachers got really sick this week. She aint saying but I think it's definitely the swine!

4) I spoke with my boss today about my concern of the increase of swine flu cases in South Korea, particularly in schools, and she told me that there have been 12 possible cases in our little ass academy. Our academy has approximately 85 students. It has four classrooms and a communal area. And you are telling me that close to 15% of these children may have the GOTDAMN swine flu?! That is MORE than 1 out of every 10 children! And you didn't feel the need to share this shit with me sooner because?.... Am I crazy or is my boss crazy?! Soooo why aren't we closed for quarantine?! That was the final straw. This woman is teaching in a mask!

So today I went to school in a mask. I taught with this mask on. During the second hour of classes my boss asked me if I could remove the mask because the parents think that I am sick. (Koreans believe that swine flu comes from foreigners.) I politely responded that I would not remove my mask. Do they think all these children running around here with masks on are sick? They can protect themselves so why can't I? I told her she can explain to the parents that I am taking precaution because I just found out that there were POSSIBLY 12 cases of swine flu in this academy. I aint taking off SHIT! She looked a bit troubled but knew not to argue with me about this any further because my mind was made up.

I will be teaching with a mask on until I feel people are taking the appropriate precautions to keep their employees from getting sick! I aint trying to be a swine flu statistic!

Monday, October 26, 2009

Oh Match!

This is CaliTransplant... yup a native LA girl trying to make it in the DC world. I will be dropping by to share some of my experiences here in the DMV from time to time. Today my entry is dedicated to DC dating, match.com style.

So I joined match.com within days of my move to DC. I was ready to get the ball rolling immediately. I wanted to cut out all the hoops and circles traditional “sifting thru the b*ll$hit” or “romantic networking/interviewing” involved. Was that desperation? I don't think so, I call it tenacity. Let's be honest, I moved to DC to be surrounded by successful professional black people and I figured the internet would be the quickest way to filter out the potentials.

And what did Match.com yield? Three prototypes that, should you ever consider jumping on the internet dating bandwagon, avoid like the plague!

The Misrepresenter: (yeah I made up the word!) – Yes, he lied! I expected a certain amount of truth stretching considering the forum we met, but STRETCHING THE TRUTH ABOUT HEIGHT is pretty much a NO-NO. He had me anticipating a man 6 feet plus, so I cranked out the “KILL EM GIRL” heels, showed up to the date, and was looking down on Napoleon. (And I am of average height)

New rule, whatever they write on their profile, subtract 2 inches.

The Bore: Physically, a delightful specimen. Intellectually, it was like watching paint peel! BORING AS HELL! This probably could have been avoided had I engaged in more than one telephone conversation with the man. MY BAD!

New rule, have at least two voice conversations, longer than 15 minutes, prior to the date.

The Absconder: This character takes the cake! Still scarred from “The Bore” I made sure to engage him in decent conversation on multiple occasions and determined he was date-worthy. And what happened you ask? He up and left in the middle of the date. Yup. Straight up BOUNCED! AFTER he called to push back the date by 30 minutes TWICE and AFTER rescheduling the date from the previous week because he was "under the weather”. THIS MAN LEFT!


Holding half a glass of chardonnay in my hand, this man stood up, closed the tab, dug in his pocket for a cash tip and then glanced over to me and asked nonchalantly “You done?”

I still had HALF A GLASS OF WINE IN MY HAND – No sir, I am not done! Did I say that? No, rather I held my glass up towards him indicating that the glass was Still HALF FULL, to which he replied “Ready?”

WTF!!!!! READY???!!!!????? What did he mean? In that instant, I was lost. Is he asking me or telling me? Ready for what? Ready to hit up the next spot? If so, with me? Without me? Ready to part ways for the night? What the hell did that damn “ready” mean?!

So in a confused stupor, I respond "…Well let me just chug this wine and I’ll be good…" And then he said - CLINCHER- : "Don't rush..I'm just gonna (inaudible)....excuse myself."

Ahhhhhh! I get it now!

-End Scene-

New rule, "ready" is now defined as - (adv.) IMMA UP AND LEAVE YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DATE.

I know you are wondering, what happened to make him “ready”. Not sure really, but the date wasn’t exactly smooth to begin with. Besides the late start and rainy weather, He was a LOUDTALKER. LOUD AS HELL, to the point where other people kept looking at him CRAZY and I became self-conscious and uncomfortable. Then, facing the possibility of being temporarily deaf in my right ear, I had to tell him, politely, "whoa you are like yelling." (Hmm can that be said politely?) So all of that, in combination with awkward pauses, darting eyes and him sweating in his sports coat, eventually made him "ready."

FYI, I am on a match.com sabbatical, going to do it the old-fashioned way now – circulating and networking – I am sure it will reveal an experience just as colorful. Be on the lookout for an upcoming entry – DC dating – ol skool style.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

My Degree Got Me Single

“Black men are more likely to marry outside of their race, and black women are more likely to marry outside of their education."

-Hannah Bruckner, who leads the Center for Research on Inequalities and the Life Course at Yale University, says the disparity can be partly explained by a difference in dating preferences between some black men and women.


Well Damn! and so my rant begins.

This is not a new topic, but this particular quote is a summarization of what many of my single buppie women are dealing with, comprising our values to date a black man. SMH.

Query to black men:

Is it an issue for a black woman to have more education than a black man? Is it possible or even likely that black men are insecure and unable to deal with a woman that has more education? Could it be that our black men are slower to develop professionally than men of other races?

Is it my fault that I excel, and value education? Should I just quit, sit home, and play video games? Is that really what you want?

NO! When black men do date outside their race, the OTHER chick is most likely still just as educated.

Although it may seem that my position is one sided, I am not making assumptions about all black men. However, I have realized for some men, my desire to progress professionally may be an issue. That is perfectly ok because I am just not that kind of mans type. We (black women who prefer to get theirs) should get over this (per Dr.J)and MOVE ON! GUESS what?! Uneducated men are not my type, so I’m MOVING ON!

It seems that decent black men are limited commodities. If you got one, congrats to you boo! But even those decent ones left, got issues. Social awkwardness, emotional deficiencies, overly evasive, etc. Plainly, these limited commodities know that they are in such high demand, that even the UGLY ones have the most courage these days to trying to bag the beautiful Lauren Londons, and Gabby Unions types.

Some of these limited commodities are living in LALA land. Hmph (Rolls Eyes). I had a male buppie tell me that he could not be with a woman making more money then him. GTFOH! Baby, in this world, this is bound to happen! So what we going to do then? Be stuck? Me, barefoot and preggers, because you’re comfortable with your salary? If you are insecure about $$ then F^&K it, I’m not your type.

I realize, that I am not everyone’s cup of tea. I am also not one of those women caught up on the notion of being with a black man. Break out and date outside your race!

In essence, the same discrimination these black men are giving us women, is the same discrimination I am giving them right back. SHEEEEEIT. I can’t do it. You got to want to get better with me babe! Not stifle me or penalize me for my book smarts.

Monday, October 12, 2009

5 Things Buppies Can Learn from “Luppies” (Latino Urban Professionals)

Continuing in my celebration of Latino Heritage Month... Only like 3 days left. So I decided to look at professional America and some things i've noticed. Thanks for reading.

1) Lose your sense of entitlement
One of the things that I admire about my Latino Professionals is they really do not feel a sense of entitlement or feel like they are entitled to anything because they are a minority. This does not mean they do not take advantage of programs to improve diversity or that are targeted at minorities this means that they do not use it as a crutch. They understand that you will have to work hard, you will have to put the time and effort in, and you will have to sometimes work your way up through unconventional methods because traditional doors are not open.

2) Learn to assimilate while not losing your culture
I feel that sometimes Black professionals are so concerned that their employers are trying to rape them of their culture and turn them into some Uncle Tom or some type of “Oreo.” I think that we sometimes can get so caught up in this that we become defensive. I admire Latino professionals because they manage to keep a good balance of being able to assimilate into corporate America, but be able to keep their culture. I think the key to doing this is to be able to separate that at home you have culture, but at work you have your profession. You should keep the two very separate, they’re different constructs.

3) Stick together, support your people
More and more organizations are always being developed. Over the last few years I have seen several Latino organizations being created in the professional space to support their people. I admire their cohesiveness as a people. They do a great job in my opinion of using their collective efforts in a professional manner to close the gap between them and the majority counterparts. We can learn from this and do this ourselves. Let’s begin to notice how some of our organizations such as NABA, Black MBA, CBC, etc. are weakening and losing their relevance and let’s have a revival and bring these programs back to where they need to be to support our people.

4) Entrepreneurship (Most Black people can’t even spell that ish)
I think that Black professionals as well as Latin professionals are doing a good job with Entrepreneurship, but I think it should not be discounted that the rate of Latin owned businesses opening are clearly exceeding those effort of us Black professionals. To piggyback off of my last point, we have to support each other, but moreover we need to be sharing that entrepreneurial language. (Let me preempt that I think this is a talent shared by African and Caribbean Black folk too, maybe this is just for us, African Americans to take heed.)

5) Education
Education has always been important to us. I admire that many of my Latino friends are like addicted to school. An undergraduate degree isn’t enough, a masters is the minimum. Certifications are a must. Be a doctor, a lawyer, etc. I admire this. And to think, Black people have been in this country for longer and this seems to still not be a priority for us.

I’m going to preemptively address some of your comments before I close. I should have prefaced this entire discussion with letting you know that Black encompasses a lot. I get a lot of comments from people who are like, I’m from Ghana and my parents instilled this in me, or I’m from Jamaica and my parents told me to… That’s all well and good, but when I looked at the things that I admire about “Luppies” I looked at the entire gambit of Black folk. Not just one country, one class, or one geographic area. So keep in mind, this is not a time for people to become separatist Black folk.

Neither is it a time for people to “Lil’ Ma” the spotlight. Listen, I think that Black people are beautiful and we are doing our thing. In 2009, we have made so many leaps and bounds that our ancestors would be more than proud of us today in these last days of our Lord. But let’s be able to sometimes take our seats and give a round of applause.

I’m interested to hear your thoughts Buppies and for those Luppies who are reading your thoughts as well. Happy Latino Heritage Month and I encourage all to take some time this month and educate themselves on something new pertaining to the month.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Why I hate buppies


is written by an uber fabulous woman who lives her life for her. Her blog is a combination of her daily rants and events reviews. Above all its is always *true*. In the spirit of showcasing good blog love, and I dearly enjoy True. She wrote this feature just for us. Enjoy and show her blog some love.

Yall know that I love everyone and the diversity of people. But you buppies, yall can be quite aggravating. Not 100% cause I done kicked it with a few of yall. But seriously..somethings…Ugh..read on…

What I hate about D.C Buppies

1. You don’t know anything about them other then how many degrees they have. The conversation goes like this “so what do you like to do” them: “Get my 2nd masters and PHd”…”No what do you LIKE to do..like outside of that “ “Is there anything outside of that?” “what do you like to do for fun”..Fun….”whats that..im working towards my 5th degree.”

2. All they do is work…WORK WORK WORK..and work…AND WORK..the hell you working so much for. You gon be old by the time you get finished doing all that work. Working all them hours and all that time so you can live comfortably. And by the time you done, you gotta move to a retirement home LMAO. Never statisfied MOFOS lol

3. They think they better than everyone else…WHY..I dunno. Cause they are in more debt than others from home ownership and college loans and what not? Cause they have the entire alphabet behind their name? Cause they pay too much for rent just to say they live in a certain area…BOOO…

4. They care too much what people think – wtf..do yall dance, sing, get loud, have a hair out of place. Sometimes I think yall are effing robots. I bet you if you go near water you will malfunction. Mm Hm…I know that’s the real reason why you don’t see buppies getting into the pool at pool parties and why they claim they can’t get their perms wet. Whatever. Yall aint human..I want to see some sweat or blood or something. So what if you like Gucci Mane. Your 15 degrees won’t get revoked if you do something ignant every once in a while. No one is REALLY watching you..trust me.

5. Buppie MEN don’t think any woman is good enough for them - yall might as well date eachother since you too good for every damn woman you meet. You’d be quick to by a round of drinks for your man but not 1 dranks for that pretty lady standing next to you. UGH…like I said. Date eachother. Dammit..better yet..date your degrees

6. Buppie Women..STOP HOLDING UP THE DAMN WALL in the club. It has support beams. Let the beams do their job. Smile too. I know its hard for you to smile when your weave is so tight or your perm has burned your scalp, but its going to be alright. We see that you fly? You don’t have to mean mug us to get us to notice it. Smile and be proud that you independent and on your way to wealth. Besides..your nose will get stuck that way (shoot that’s probably what you want)

7. Stop Discriminating - yall worse than racist mofos. Yall got education discrimination, area discrimination, job discrimination, salary discrimination, house discrimination. DAMN..Im bout to write the NAACP about our own damn people call Farrakahn and Al Sharpton. Yall need some sensitivity classes and some reality check 101. SHYT HAPPENS..its not above you.

8. They all seem to be the damn same. They act the same, talk the same, like the same things. Shoot. That’s how you can spot them. You can’t tell them apart. If they say “We” all look alike its cause of you damn buppies. Least with ghetto girls you can tell the difference by what color they have on.

You know what, maybe its because they don’t have degrees on how to be yourself. If you can’t learn it in a college or textbook or spend thousands learning it, then its something you don’t possess or know how to do. Do they have degrees in PERSONALITY? If so yall need to obtain one. Matter of fact, let me start the True’s College of Personality. This will not be online, it will be accredited and will count towards your degree in getting of your high horsededness.

Now don’t get me wrong, I know not all buppies possess all these qualities. Some do some don’t. And PLEASE I’m not asking you to change. Hell you don’t affect me in anyway other than the monotony of your lives being in my face all the damn time. That’s cool tho. Someone’s gotta be a buppie just like someone’s gotta take out the buppies trash.