So I was listenin to slow jams on a DC radio station (95.5) and they also have a great late night talk show. The topic of choice last night was dealing with your ex's family. The question posed was is it okay to stay close or keep in touch with your ex's family. The other question was if your significant other was keeping in touch with their ex's family how would you feel? I thought this was interesting because I have personally dealt with some situations like this....I have had a boyfriend in which I was really fond of his family, particularly his mother. We spent a lot of time together, went to lunch frequently, and talked a lot. However, once me and him were through the relationship with his fam, in my opinion, had to be cut short. Granted we are still friends we are not going to continually be chillin and talking regularly. I feel like the relationship wouldn't be as healthy if you are no longer dating for many reasons. Here are some different ways of looking at it.
1) How will your new significant other feel about you still being so close to your ex's family? On the radio station one guy mentioned that it made him feel like his woman still wanted to be with her ex because she always had to stop there for every holiday and such. He thought who do you want to see me or him and his people. I could see the legitmacy in this thought and understand the frustration.
2) How would you feel if your significant other was still always with his/her ex's family? I refuse to believe that any normal person wouldn't feel some type of way about this situation. One woman on the radio said she kept very close to her ex's mother until she met her new guy and he was always spending time with his ex's father. She was a little perplexed as to why they still golf together every weekend and she still went to the house for family gatherings. Plus she was not convinced that his ex did not want him back. She then realized she was guilty of the same thing and minimalized the amount of contact she had with her ex's mom.
3) Are we really moving on or trying to hold onto something that is still there? If you insist on keeping these ties what are you really hanging onto? If you are sustaining this relationship chances are you are going to see and hear about your ex a lot! You may find out how they are doing, who they are dating, and other things. Do you want to really subject yourself to this?
4) Who says that you can not still have a healthy and functional relationship with your ex's family if that is honestly all it is. The mother of one of my ex's is my homegirl for real. Granted we do not live in the same place we talk a few times a year and whenever she is in town we see each other. But her son (my ex) is a good friend of mine and we are strictly platonic. We have actually double dated with our new people. So in a situation such as this is it really the end of the world to stay cool with the ex's peeps?
I definitely know this issue from many sides. The most recent side being that when I was with my last boyfriend his ex and his mother and sister were like "best friends". It was irritating as hell. I would get mad at him for letting it go on. I just thought like there is more to this than your family cuz she is going way too hard. She is trying to prove a point.