Buppie Women…Destined to be lonely?
I just returned from a lovely DC outing, where it was full of black urban professionals (buppies).
While I was awaiting my shot of rum, I came across a very friendly black male. Good looking, educated as we spoke of being in similar colleges in the same vicinity of each other, and was able to carry an interesting conversation. He initiated the conversation and soon we found out he wrote his thesis on the country in which I was from. He said he lived in Capitol Hill, had a very interesting job where he got to travel internationally. He also held 2 degrees from prestigious institutions. The nature of our conversation was friendly.
I invited my home girl over to the bar area to meet him, and somehow the conversation switched to relationships. It came up that he is what a buppie woman would be attracted to. Men like him, I have found tend to be “wanted’ and “in high demand”. Therefore they have the opportunity to juggle many women, without the need to get in relationships. (limited supply= high demand). There is nothing wrong with this, unless you are that woman wanting to get into this relationship.
He goes on to say. Yes he could be like that but he is not. He mentions one case: He met a woman. She realized what I realized that he “has it going on”. But as their relationship developed, her insecurity with his “got it going on-ness” surfaced. She made excuses for not getting to much closer. This to some will be all too familiar began saying things like “You are not ready to settle, you still want to be with other women, and you should go out with you other girls.” This, to my newfound homeboy, showed him her spewing insecurities. He was turned off, especially since he was not trying to be with other women.
So that raised a red flag to me. A clear discrepancy, a fallacy, something is not right here in this game of buppie love and like.
The questions are:
Buppie women, are we insecure with buppie men?
Why do we crave buppie men?
Why does it appear buppie men are limited?
Why do buppie men have the opportunity to exploit buppie women?
It appears to me it’s a cycle
Woman are 50% more likely to become buppie than men. -->Thus there are more buppie women entering the world then men. -->Buppie men are rare. -->Buppie men can choose from a wide array of women. -->Why chose? Have them all the buppie male philosophy. -->Buppie women become insecure.
So are men the reason for a women’s insecurity? Not directly, a lot has to do with the evolution of our society, and how men and women have been socialized, but I would say yes.
What would you say?