Monday, February 15, 2010

You’re better than that: Educated Women acting like Groupies

I have to apologize to the buppie readers, although, I have been reading and commenting, I haven’t blessed y’all with anything lately. The reason is because I really have to congratulate male and female buppies, over the last few weeks I’ve been very happy with the bunch. Anyway, there is something that I think I can speak on today.

There are a lot of people out there who don’t know their worth. No this isn’t about relationships, this is about your overall life. For example, I know too many men who act like thugs or act “hood” when they really aren’t. My mother always told me that thugs do go to college, but I truly believe that once you know better, act better. The other example is women who act like groupies when they can clearly do for themselves. To piggyback off of what The District Buppie said on Monday, you have a good paying job, but you living a lie. The fact of the matter is that some women aren’t broke and their gold digging or groupie tactics aren’t attractive and are unnecessary.

I’m out in lounges and clubs all the time and I see these girls. They go to the club looking for a guy to buy them drinks, looking to meet a guy who’s well off financially to get a free meal, some bills paid, or some vacation time. I think this behavior is pathetic. Especially because the men that you really want to give you this can easily tell when a girl is out for gold. Chasing after a man for the party life or the good life is just bad. It really gets under my skin when I know a woman with a good job, good education, and a future ahead of herself is in the club chasing after ballers, athletes and celebrities. Why?! Focus on the real, the real is that a woman has to know her worth.

In my opinion, these women are just as bad as guys who try and spend their way into relevance. If you’re making 60-70K a year and you’re in the club popping bottles every weekend on credit. Something is not right. Driving a car that you can’t afford is not the move. If you have been blessed with the ability to use your brain and common sense to make it in the world, use it wisely because not everyone is blessed as you. So the same goes for women, don’t be found in circles of people that you have nothing in common with. I’m tired of seeing women who I know have much more to offer, throwing on freakum dresses and shuffling to the local nightspots Thursday-Sunday looking for a baller.

Let me follow-up my previous point about the ballers, those ballers won’t ever give you what you want anyway. When a guy meets a woman in the club, and his relationship with her exists because of the club, he never takes her seriously. (I caveat this because sometimes you meet people in the club, but that doesn’t become the main platform for your relationship.) The baller is only hitting you up for a good time, he’s not your friend and he doesn’t really care about you. The glamour will get really real for you when he sees some eye candy he likes better. Plus, all that glitters is not gold. You may think you are living the life and you are making good connections, but these people aren’t the people you think they are. They can be shallow and more concerned about themselves at your expense. If you hang around shallow people, shallow people things will happen. For example, I know a chick who was chasing an athlete and when she got pregnant she thought she had hit the jackpot. Wrong, the dude played her major league, no pun intended. His reply, “Well, what are you going to do? You can do one thing and this doesn’t really affect anyone, or you can do another and the next person you’ll speak to is my accountant who can set you up.” He basically informed her that he was not going to be that baby’s daddy and all he reduced her to was a settlement of money and moving on.

I hope my point came across in the post. I really am not accusing anyone of anything because of course I don’t know you. But take some time and make sure that you aren’t chasing the fake when you have all the tools to succeed on your own. I know some good guys and they really do appreciate our educated buppies with good jobs who are taking care of their responsibilities. Although, I won’t say that sometimes good guys don’t mess with these fake chicks, they don’t take them seriously, trust me on that.

Dr. J is still alive and well, you can follow him daily @DrJayJack on Twitter.


m said...

I really liked this post.
My girlfriends are fond of wishing to marry a rich man so they won't have to work or can get that new Gucci bag or the latest Louboutins. I never really understood that point of view. I can see if you're on your face (that's speak for broke) and you daydream about the knight in shining armour coming to rescue you, but if you're an educated professional woman daydreaming about hitching on to someone else's star, there's a problem. Everything in life comes with strings and a baller is no exception. You may gain a charge account at any store you want, but you sacrifice independence, autonomy, and respect. That's a pretty high price to pay in my book. Especially when you're perfectly capable of getting all of it on your own.

FiGZ said...

"...and educated brothers acting like ballers", good post. You're right. This is one of the reasons why I stopped going to clubs for the short time that it did last. Lounges and small low-key spots, just for example. If you're going to clubs trying to find mr right 9.9/10 it will not happen. If you're successful you should be going to benefits, donating money, mentoring, truly investing your time in others and within yourself. That's all I have at this point in time.

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