Invading One's Privacy

Recently I was talking to a male friend of mine about his issues with his significant other. He was saying a lot of things with her were getting sketchy and he felt that she was lying to him and being sneaky. They were supposed to get together over the weekend but she said she was sick and had some other excuses as to why she didn't even bother to call him to explain her absence. So the next time she comes to the crib he waits until she goes to sleep and goes through her phone. Needless to say he finds things that he did not want to find. I told him "whooooaaa first I am blown at the fact that you went through homegirl's phone! Who does that shit?" Apparently a LOT of people do!

After talking to him about this situation I spoke with a number of ladies and gents who have invaded their significant other's personal correspondence in one way or another. Whether it be going through their phone, looking at their email or facebook, or reading their journal. Maybe I am just a punk in this regard because I don't want to know that much. I remember in college being in my boyfriend at the time's apartment. I was in his room and I saw an instant message pop up on his computer that read "hey sexy." Oh needless to say I immediately got irate and asked him about it! Therefore, I can not imagine my reaction if I went looking and found something.

Honestly I feel like if you have to snoop you already know the deal! I tend to follow my intuition in situations such as these and go straight to the source if I am suspicious. If I go to my significant other and am still not convinced clearly there is not enough trust to sustain a relationship. Yet and still here are some reasons I have gotten from people as to why they snoop:

*All of the people I asked ranged in the age of 22-30 years old.*

1) I wanted to know if he was telling the truth about where he was.

2) I knew there was someone else but I want to see if there's only one.

3) He left his email open so I looked.

4) She went to sleep and her phone was right there. If there is nothing to hide why can't I look?

5) I just needed to know!

6) I wanted to prove that I knew he was lying.

7) I had a suspicion some funny business was going on and I looked and was right!

8) He looked through my facebook so I looked through his!

Of the people I had asked only one person looked and was wrong about their suspicion. The others found something sketchy or outright found out they were being stepped out on. Which goes along with my point if you feel the need to look you already know! Unless you just super paranoid!

I'm interested to know if you are a snoop why do you do it? Do you snoop even if you have no real reason to be suspicious? If you already know the deal why snoop?

Equal Rights FOR ALL!!! Especially when it comes to LOVE.

Okay so everyone is caught up in the honeymoon stage of this election and such. I know I am. The whole thing is still surreal to me to be quite honest. But at the same time it was quite a downer to me the following day when I found out that Prop 8 was passed in California. It was one of those things I saw and thought "Huuuhhh?!" Talk about taking a HUGE step back in a forward march to equality. In the days following I noticed the posts of some of our fellow bloggers such as The Snob and My Favorite Tenant and saw their thoughts and figured it was time for me to weigh in on this topic. And in the spirit of The Tenant this post may sound more like a rant....

I can not believe that people still have the audacity to deny people rights that honestly in my opinion would not hurt ANYONE! I mean wtf?! And the irony set in when I found out that around 70% of African Americans who backed Obama also backed Prop 8. Like are yall f*ckin serious. I am having a hard time articulating my thoughts on this because to me the whole thing is so oxymoronic. I will let Jon make his joke because it kinda explains my sentiments....

Like this to me goes on the same list as abortion in politics, IT AINT NONE OF YOUR GOTDAMNED BUSINESS. It is a private matter so bud the F*CK out and find something else to vote on that is more relevant.

My mother and I were in church a few weeks ago and there was a guest pastor who decided he wanted to entertain this topic. (The guy reminded me of rev Wright because he was high yellow, militant and loud. But moving on...) So he goes on to say that homosexuality is wrong, it says so right in the Bible, and if you are a homosexual there is a nice warm place in hell for you. So the congregation gets up and starts clapping and screaming hallelujah and my mother and I were just sitting in the church, that we have been in all of our lives, in an uneasy state. I tapped her and said remind me to tell you later how I feel about this. Once she reminded me later I explained to her that I believe in the Bible, I read it everyday, and I believe in it when it comes to my matters of faith and order. HOWEVER, do I take everything in the Bible literally? NO! And I don't for a number of reasons. I believe much of it is metaphorical and also it was written THOUSANDS of years ago. Homosexuality was not as clear to people then as it is now. There have been many developments in thought that I think give a greater understanding to homosexuality.

Now do I think that every person that is gay was born that way..... NO!

Do I believe Homosexuality is wrong.... NO!

Do I believe spiritually you should be condemned to HELL if you are homosexual...... HELL NAW!

But this is the school of thought of many Blacks in particular due to the Bible. Many believe if we are to take the Bible literally we should be allowed to own slaves. Now MY Black people yall don't like that part do ya?! This goes into my school of thought on the Black Church (a blog coming to you very soon). Many Blacks enter a state of naivete when they get into their spiritual self especially in church. They will accept anything a preacher throws at them without using their own "spiritual common sense" if you will. And as a result become extremely judgemental. I was raised in a Baptist church. However, I was also raised to have a mind of my own.

I know too many good hearted, open minded, gays and lesbians to believe that they are hell bound because they are attracted to the same sex. I also personally know a couple that desires to get married but can't because the government won't allow it. Personally I just don't feel that is right!

What are some thoughts on this topic? Would you vote for or against Prop 8 where you live?