Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Invading One's Privacy

Recently I was talking to a male friend of mine about his issues with his significant other. He was saying a lot of things with her were getting sketchy and he felt that she was lying to him and being sneaky. They were supposed to get together over the weekend but she said she was sick and had some other excuses as to why she didn't even bother to call him to explain her absence. So the next time she comes to the crib he waits until she goes to sleep and goes through her phone. Needless to say he finds things that he did not want to find. I told him "whooooaaa first I am blown at the fact that you went through homegirl's phone! Who does that shit?" Apparently a LOT of people do!

After talking to him about this situation I spoke with a number of ladies and gents who have invaded their significant other's personal correspondence in one way or another. Whether it be going through their phone, looking at their email or facebook, or reading their journal. Maybe I am just a punk in this regard because I don't want to know that much. I remember in college being in my boyfriend at the time's apartment. I was in his room and I saw an instant message pop up on his computer that read "hey sexy." Oh needless to say I immediately got irate and asked him about it! Therefore, I can not imagine my reaction if I went looking and found something.

Honestly I feel like if you have to snoop you already know the deal! I tend to follow my intuition in situations such as these and go straight to the source if I am suspicious. If I go to my significant other and am still not convinced clearly there is not enough trust to sustain a relationship. Yet and still here are some reasons I have gotten from people as to why they snoop:

*All of the people I asked ranged in the age of 22-30 years old.*

1) I wanted to know if he was telling the truth about where he was.

2) I knew there was someone else but I want to see if there's only one.

3) He left his email open so I looked.

4) She went to sleep and her phone was right there. If there is nothing to hide why can't I look?

5) I just needed to know!

6) I wanted to prove that I knew he was lying.

7) I had a suspicion some funny business was going on and I looked and was right!

8) He looked through my facebook so I looked through his!

Of the people I had asked only one person looked and was wrong about their suspicion. The others found something sketchy or outright found out they were being stepped out on. Which goes along with my point if you feel the need to look you already know! Unless you just super paranoid!

I'm interested to know if you are a snoop why do you do it? Do you snoop even if you have no real reason to be suspicious? If you already know the deal why snoop?

1 comment:

FiGZ said...

I agree with your sentiments..."if you feel the need to look you already know"...I can say, personally, that I am not one to snoop or start my own investigation...that's not a healthy relationship. Recently I've heard of a few people I know exchanging passwords with their partner for their myspace and facebook accounts! That's preposterous! As we all mature there is a level of accountability that comes with becoming an adult, and that's in your career, with your family and with your significant other. That's my perspective. I would never catch myself looking through my girl-friend's phone, email, myspace, facebook, or anything else. I trust her. If she wants to share something with me I'm trusting her judgement. Those are her personal accounts and I have mine. That's how things should be, but today that's not how most relationships end up...and I think you should always go with your heart. By that I mean guy's following their gut and women listening to their intuition. THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LOOKING FOR SOMETHING and NOTICING THAT SOMETHING IS WRONG AND WORKING TO FIND WHAT THAT PROBLEM IS. You understand?

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