Sunday, June 21, 2009

Daddy Issues

Happy Father's Day! Today this post is directly inspired from the appreciation of having a father in my life and the realization just how important it is.

Men like to make this classification women.
MAN: How is the relationship with your Father?
FEMALE: Oh. He is not there.

Men need to stop faking though, because they have Daddy issues too.
FEMALE: How is the relationship with your Father?
MALE: All I got is my Mama

I do not have any Daddy issues. The issue being: lacking a father in my life. I am the product of a two family home. As I grow in age I am realizing how much my relationships with my Father projects in my relationship with Men. It is incredibly paramount to have a trustworthy, unconditional love from man in your life who is not trying to gain anything in return. He Loves you because you are you and it shows a person that this possibility of unconditional love can exist.

I am not saying just because you have a Daddy, you will automatically have better relationships with S.Os. Cus women and men with Daddy's and without are just as equally crazy.

When an woman has a Daddy, I find she demonstrates the following:
1. Realistic expectations of what a Man is. (No Prince on shining armor Syndrome. Although she may identify some Daddy must have characteristics.)
2. Higher expectations from Men. (She is familiar with what man is. She most likely will not fall for a phony.)
3. Have higher self confidence.

With men, daddy issues have a few effects. Men who lack Father's either do one of a few or a combo of a few things.
1. Are attached to their Momma's at the hip. (Mixed Feelings on this. But they have a strong strong allgenice to their Moms. It is usually extremely intimate.)
2. Overcompensate in being the MAN.(NOT to be Confused with a GENTLEMAN)
3. Develop some Chick characteristics.

So, Bups how has Having a Daddy or NOT affected you?


True2me said...

I truly feel like with me as well as my friends (most people I know didn't have their daddy) it affected my self esteem, what I expected of men and the excuses I allow them to make and what they get away with.

I think had I had that strong male figure who told me I was loved regardless of what I could for him would have made me more selective in the men I choose

my godsis has always had a father in her life ...she is about to be happily married to a good guy

mother other friend only temporarly had guy issues..she is happily married to a great guy

I wont touch on whats goin on w me

Up&Coming Buppie said...

I am a daddy's girl to the MAX! Although my parents were never married and never lived together my father was always in my life in a positive manner. I consult with him before almost anything I do and we talk almost daily.

With that being said I think it does have a serious effect on my relationships. I think it has made me picky and quite meticulous with the men I choose to deal with and what I will take from them. In addition I believe that I am attracted to men that have traits of my father i.e. hardworking, a little cocky, successful, and dare I say a tad bit bougie. Granted these things do not consume my father but they are some traits I noticed he can have from time to time and hence I am drawn to in the opposite sex at times.

I do think that the first relationship that a girl has with a man, which should be her father, will effect her relationships with other men she deals with. And I have definitely seen the good and the bad of that on both sides of the spectrum.

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