Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Ask Buppie: A Lil Bit Frustrated

I'm a bit frustrated with the dating scene at the moment. This guy I met a few months ago sends me a text message about when will he see me again? He brought pizza one time we went out, but when I suggest we do something fun and go out he wants to know if I'm going to treat. My first response is excuse me? And I want to say heck no, but I don't.
I usually I don't have a problem offering, but I do it - I do not like to be asked or demanded upon me to fork out the money for a date. He says all this about how none of us have money and he understands I have an internship and he has kids to support... umm excuse me is that my problem? I didn't tell him to go out and have two kids. If he has child support to pay that's on him. Plus I didn't say anything about doing stuff that cost lots of money. Okay if we're tight on cash why not suggest doing something fun and low cost? DC has plenty of things going on that's free or cheap - why make it all about money? Oh did I mention this is the same guy who went out and traded in his car after he saw me with a new car? He didn't celebrate with me about my car - instead he kinda looked at it and really didn't say anything. My spirit told me he was jealous. He then calls me weeks later saying guess what he has a new car and maybe I'll get to see it. Haven't seen it yet and really don't care honestly.
I mean is this really the dating scene in the DMV? I'm sorry I don't pay for a man who isn't my man. I will, but only if I choose to do so. It just irritates me to be asked. Am I wrong?

A Bit Frustrated,

UMMM NEEEEXT! Yeah this dude is WILD. I believe it is a rule that if YOU ask me out YOU pay. And if I ask you out I will pay but am open to the option of you still offering to pay. My next question was do you ask to do ridiculously expensive things? But you say: Okay if we're tight on cash why not suggest doing something fun and low cost? This shows me that you are open to a low cost alternative for your date. I mean if dude is too broke to date he needs to stay at the crib. Even on early dates I offer to pay for part of the date i.e. you pay for dinner and I will pay for the movie. I also see that you said: I usually I don't have a problem offering, but I do it - I do not like to be asked or demanded upon me to fork out the money for a date. As you shouldn't! Because a guy asking you up front is TACKY! Men should go out prepared to deal with the money situation however it will be and so should WOMEN. I believe women should go out prepared to finance the whole date just in case you run into a cheep skate like this dude you are talking about! Yeah I would straight ask him, "Dude, if you can't afford to go out why you calling me asking me out on a date?" Get ya broke ass out of here! I agree your child support is YA PROBLEM not mine. UGH I feel for you girl!

As far as the whole car situation yeah it is a lil sketchy. I want someone who will celebrate and encourage me when I do things or at least acknowledge it! AND If he is so damn broke paying child support how was he able to trade his car in? Did he downgrade? Yeah he sounds like loser material, sorry. I hate to judge but I call em as I see em.

As for the dating scene in the DMV....yeah no comment. (LOL) However I will say this; I came all the way across the world to South Korea which is one of the most populous places in the world. There are ONLY a little more than a million foreigners here so even less black men and I managed to find a fine, hardworking, family oriented, open minded, spiritually in tune black man to seriously date within 6 months of being here. I lived in the DMV for a little over a year where there are black men EVERYWHERE and was encountered with HOTNESS left and right! NO JUDGEMENT ON DMV MEN THOUGH! LOL I know I aint meet every man it has to offer. (Thank GOD)

Happy Hunting!,

Up&Coming Buppie



SMH - guys here, man.

Honestly. I think it has to do with supply and demand in the D.C. area. The demand is much higher (ie more women) and the supply is a little on the low side (less men).

It's not to say that there aren't any good men in the area, it will just take a little longer to(IMO) to find and date em.

On the same note, there is a huge supply of tools & no demand, but the tools, kind of ruin for it the good guys

My new thing is going to different functions & maybe getting out of the immediate area. I may try hanging in Bethesda or VA or something. But the more you date, the more you will run into quality.

DC Debutante said...

There is a warped mentality in the DC area for sure. I never date anyone originally from the DMV. LOL..I think it makes things a little easier. And I never date guys with children. There are a lot of single guys in the area that are not required to fork over child support payments. You can usually tell between the first two dates if you’re dealing with a borderline low life or not.
1.)he asks you to pay
2.)he isn’t a gentleman
3.)he has two and three kids that are not the result of a marriage
4.)he has not made any real preparation for your date (freshly showered, cologne, clean car)
5.)he is too touchy feely off the break
6.)he is drinking a lot and he has to drive you home
7.)he discusses past “Street” life

LOL…that’s just to name a few.

FiGZ said...

Dam...smh...I'm sorry to hear that...I would suggest coming to NYC...HAHAHAHAH! I'm sure guys here are much better...That's a shame that he was asking if you were treating, which is quite disrespectful to ask of a lady. At this day-in-age most people just go dutch or like you said if someone invites another to do something they are asking with the intentions of paying, and vice versa...I haven't had a father in my life since I was four years young, and I know how to treat a lady.

The Tenant said...

Or move to LA, where the guys will go with you to get your nails done...because they need theirs done too.

Or if you need to borrow a pair of jeans, ur boo's skinny jeans should fit nicely. smh

DaddysFishBowl said...

Wow, that's crazy. Move on, I remember I tried that when I was in high school with an older chick and got shut down.. Learned my lesson real quick! If he hasn't learned that what he did is a cardinal sin by now, he'll never get it.

FiGZ said...

ROTFLOL! @ The Tenant

FocusedFemaleGem said...

@FiGZ that's not true about NYC.. I had the SAME thing happened to me! Bytchassness!

Anonymous said...

Like katt williams said: figure out what's wrong with ur 'ain't shit pussy that attracts aint shit niggas'

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