Thursday, March 18, 2010

Reminder: April 15th



It's TAX SEAAAAASON!
Yet another reminder that you either do NOT make enough OR make TOO damn much.

When the W-2 comes, I don't know about you all, but I liken it to the day Mike Vick got indicted for Animal Cruelty.

I go the entire year. I play broke over here, stack some cake over here. Oh that? Put it in the bag! Oh Taxes? Child please! I'm above the whole IRS.

Then BAM! Uncle Sam hits you with that paper. That perforated card-stock comes.

F%^K! *Head Drops*

I open it ..and there it is... all my worth in one lump sum.

Sigh...

If you personally know me, you know I talk about taxes once a day. It is in the forefront of my mind. I think daily of ways to evade minimize my taxes. Why you ask? Because
I'VE BEEN AUDITED BEFORE!!!! YEP. Folks I caught a case.

Here is how I got got:
Of course in college I had a job. My parents did my taxes, because I was their dependent. Let's be real folks, in college I never got paid that much to owe anything.

Fast Forward to after college. I am now on my own and trying to stack cake. Then one day, like any responsible adult, I go check the mail. I see this here letter from the Internal Revenue Service.

Here is what it said:
Dear District's Buppie,

Your a$$ owed us $200 1 year ago. We need our money. You are late. So over this year we have been charging you 100trillion% interest. Yes we know you did not know about it. But see code XXXXX and you will see we have a right to do things like this. Now you owe us $2 billion. Oh ..send it in the next 30 days or we will take your black a$$ to Jail.

Peace B!tch,
Sam aka OLD Money

What was a buppie to do? I paid that S%$T! Quick and fast. Till this day, I am scarred whenever I get something in the mail from IRS. I vowed the government was never going to get me again. I'm trying to make sure they don't get you all either! Do your taxes!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

OMG this is HILARIOUS!!! I have never been audited but I know plenty of people who have...geez Uncle Sam is like eff you pay me, straight no chaser! I watch my pay stub like it is going change every pay period..any changes I am headed to HR "who done eff'd with my stuff!" I dont want no parts of Uncle Sam and his auditing ways lol.

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