Damn! I got GOT! I find it so amusing and ironic how us women do this all the time to MEN and now it swings back on ME as a female. It's a bit funny how it happened.
Convo looks a lil like this:
DUDE: Did i tell u i have a gf...
me: mm naw...
DUDE: yea shes cool but well see how things play out...it takes a while to really kno a person... how about u any special guys in ur world
Just wait a G'Damn MINUTE HERE!!!
Is this not the classic move to the friend zone? Bringing up your interest in other folks? I know because I use this move myself! Karma's a bitch! I have been putting in time, trying to show this dude that I am a good woman. I don't overstep my boundaries, I was interested in his life, and I showed him I cared about him. Flirted with him, and told him that I was feeling him and wanted to get to know him more...How do I react to this bulshyt! I just wasted 9 mths of hard work to prove to him I was good material to be dejected to the Friend Zone. Aint this a bitch?? Never have we ever brought up interest in other folks, never had he asked about me "seeing" other people until this night!
me: ummm...no one special just chillen
At this point, I am just thinking of how am I going to end this convo without coming off bitter. In the back of my head, I know what needs to be done. 1. DO not call him again ever. 2. Do not IM again ever 3. FALL BACK immediately. Ladies you got to because 1. I am not a home wrecker, and 2. my intentions were not to be his friend RIGHT NOW. It may come in the future, but right now after this convo is over...I will cease to communicate. Unless he initiates, and even in which I will be short.
DUDE: is it really hard as they say it is for blk women to find quality blk men?
The nerve of him?? *Shake my Head* Yes and you are living proof!me: Yep I feel like for some reason, Men don't see me for my worth or want to put the work in to really have a relationship of some nature.
DUDE: i c
I could not resist, had to lightly vent. Ultimately, although this did not work out how I wanted it, there are still some positives.
For one, the guy was honest with me. I super appreciate it! Some men would not give you the courtesy of truth. I still think he is a stand up guy, however obviously he is not meant to be with me. Another positive is I did not embarrass myself and get all bitter and bitchy! I mean for what? I know I am a good woman and if he does not see that enough to want to be with me, he just freed me for the next man ! Right?
5 comments:
on behalf of GOOD BLACK MEN everywhere, I would like to hit you with a MASSIVE "HA-HA," accompanied by a Nelson Muntz from the Simpsons pointing at you.
I am not necesarily so much upset at you, but please TAKE THAT on behalf of guys like me who used to get punked and thrown into the damn "friend zone*
**Time to get my vent on**
God forbid you become cool with a girl and you make her laugh (too much), because you know what you get?
-FRIEND ZONED-
If she barely even knows of the girl i used to date....10 years ago
-FRIEND ZONED-
And when you tell me "oh...I can't mess with you...YOU ARE LIKE MY BROTHER!!!!"
I secretly want to spit on you.
It is like going to an interview, and having the HR recruiter tell you,
"wow you have a great resume"
"you have tons of experience"
"you are exactly the type of person I am looking for...
but we can't hire you."
ITS PURE BULLSH*T
So you know how I made sure that you will never do that to me again?
I became a jerk. Well slightly.
That friend zone sh*t doesnt happen anymore, why?
Because yall women are like Jamaicans, meaning...
Yall love some JERK.
So you get served, mon.
Love,
Rich "Jerk" Blackman
District....I feel you...
Hell...my best friend...KNEW...yes...KNEW I wanted him...and guess what...im the godmother of his daughter and im a bridesmaid at his wedding coming up....aint that bout a bytch!
It tarnished my self esteem for a while and made me one cold hearted female....
i've never been the same since and i have yet to open up to a guy
and u wasted 9 months...that sucks azz!
So why did it take him so long to tell you he had a gf? That's what I don't understand about men...let me know from the door that you're NOT single, so I won't put in the time & effort!
Great blog, btw!
Great Post, and even funier comments. After peruzing the web when I should I have been working, I stumbled across a very funny website that offers a different a view of men and on a totally different level. Although its complete garbage, it may carry some weight with it.
Its called the "Ladder Theory." It a "scientific explanation of how men and women are attracted to each other. It also covers such topics as why women sometimes just want to be friends but men always want sex."
I think you and your readers may enjoy some lunchtime or late night reading.
{[WARNING]} If you are happily involved in a relationship, I suggest that you (A.) Read at your own risk. It may cause feelings of insecurity. (B.) If you do decide to read it, do not discuss it with your the person with whom you are in a relationship with.
Here's the address
www.laddertheory.com
Enjoy!!
Cheers,
The Avid Reader
I have the answer to why this guy told you he had a girlfriend. It's one of three reasons. 1)He wasn't attracted to you. 2)He just wasn't feeling you. 3)It could be a combination of both. Think about it if he had a girl and he wanted to be in a committed relationship with this young lady you would have never met this guy. He might not even have a girlfriend. It's possible that he didn't want to hurt your feelings by saying you aren't his type.
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