Sunday, August 24, 2008

"When will you get Married"

Hayle Naw. I just got an invite on Facebook for a "When will you get married" application?

Are you effing kidding me?

Maybe its just me, but Marriage does not appeal to me.
I used to think Marriage is only necessary for kids. Meaning, when I was ready to have kids, I would get married. Prior to that we could just be engaged or long term Boyfriend and Girlfriend for all I care. This recently changed, when I realized that is not necessary either. What if I was ready to have kids but my Boyfriend was not? He can easily be a sperm donor, and I could raise them on my own.

Nevertheless, we are Buppie's in our 20's. There is a lot of pressure for us to make that NEXT step. We have the good job, nice crib, etc. Even now when I meet buppies over 28 and they are not married or in a serious relationship, I ask them why? Must be something wrong with them! Reality is they are probably thinking just like me. Marriage is not necessary to be happy!

What scares me is this, at this point in our lives, it is quite possible for your next relationship to be the end all? He/She could be your potential mate. YUCK! That sounds boring. Within 3 months of dating, you already did everything possible with each other. NOW you talking about LIFE!!! **shakes my head** Nope. Then you want HALF. Half on my food, income, etc. I am a selfish Buppie and I am not trying to share. Then to find someone bringing what you bringing to the table? Female Buppies we already touched on how hard that is!

Ultimately, society stop making me feel like I am worthless for enjoying being a black urban professional who is upwardly mobile and not wanting to get engaged tomorrow!! Can WE bask in our Buppieness! GEEZ!


Soul Status said...

Of COURSE I'm finta keep it real! So what do I think? It takes alot to find a takes even more to give that "half" that everyone is so worried about. Problem is, most people don't know what "Love" is. If they did..Peeps wouldn't be so worried about that "half." That half that seems to scare people away so dang much is giving what you want to give as long as you and your spouse agree on what that "half" is. Now I won't bring in religion, but for those that go to church, your half is giving your all to allow the relationship to work and be in God's favor. But like I said, I won't get into that.

Now, Granted you don't want a lazy ass sitting on the couch doing nothing, or someone just grubbing off of what you bring home everyday. But when you are ready for marriage, you'll know. When you've met the person that you care for enough to the point that you'll want to change your lifestyle for that woman/man, then you'll know.

Hey, nobody said to not live your life, but at least understand what life's about. The monetary stuff, eh...its cool. The being a "buppie"'s cool. It almost sounds like people just want to stay "cool." But what exactly defines cool? What defines success? What defines a good life? I guess any answer would do. For the last two, many a people would have marriage (a good marriage) as one of their answers.

John Lennon said, "Rituals are important. Nowadays it's hip not to be married. I'm not interested in being hip." I agree with John. While hip is cool for a period of time, there's alot more to Life. But hey, to each their own right?
Right. (all my opinion of course.)

BTW, you have great posts..I try to keep up as much as possible. Keep doing you!

Soul Status

Up&Coming Buppie said...

I was waiting for my fellow blogger to post this and also was interested to see what other's may think of her point of view. Personally, from a different female bup standpoint I CAN'T WAIT to meet a man that I want to share half of everything with. For religious reasons as well I believe that marriage will be an intrical part of my success in life. Marriage may not be for everyone. My closest confidant believes that marriage is not for him and constantly calls me a hopeless romantic because I am so adamant about the constitution of marriage and my belief that I will find my soulmate. But I think The District's POV is a valid one and may be shared with more and more women.

Not this bup though....

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