Monday, June 2, 2008

Do ALL Men Cheat?!

DISCLAIMER: Before you go saying "Women cheat too". I am well aware of this, however I wanted to talk about MEN ..so quit whining already! LoL :)


Now that we have that out of the way, back to the question, Do ALL men cheat?

Well I sure think so!

Why?

Probably because at this very moment, I can't honestly say that I know a guy that has NEVER cheated. However on the other hand, I can definitely say I know several that have.

Now, I'm aware that everyone might have his/her own definition of cheating. So here is my definition:

1. Of coarse there is the traditional, physical cheating, which includes but is not limited to, sex, kissing, licking, sucking, all forms of 4-play.

2. Then there is emotional cheating, which some people often don't consider 'real' cheating. To further elaborate, emotional cheating to me is when you still have feelings for someone else other than you significant other, like maybe an ex you still communicate with and often talk to them on a personal tip. This includes, but is not limited to,venting/complaining about your current relationship and comparing it to the past or having inappropriate sexually related conversations, i.e. "I wanna lick you like a lollipop"

I know everyone may or may not agree, but this is how I see it, ALL MEN CHEAT ..and if you don't think so then you might just be the perfect victim. The type that's going to accept, "I'm sorry, I won't do it again" or "I'm sorry, it just happened"..Now weather you decide to forgive him or not,you mostly likely won't forget. The TRUST in the relationship has been broken. And I'm sure we all know how IMPORTANT trust is in maintaining a healthy relationship.

I posted a similar topic about men cheating in a note and a few of my guy friends voluntarily responded to it. I selected two(2) of he conversations to share with you all. Why these 2? Now if you remember an earlier post titled "Its Hard out there for a (female) Buppie" each of these guys fits 2 out of the 3 'stereotypes' of male buppies I mentioned.

Now read on!

"Mr. Oh" a.k.a Mr. Bachelor / The Play Boy

ME: have u ever cheated?

Oh: yes i have been guilty of cheating in the past

ME: why did you do it?

Oh : why, no a solid reason why...
Oh : i think men think there rights of passage has to involve establishing this malehood and sex seems to be a way of acceptance

ME: did you ever admit it to the grl u were with?

Oh : yeah ..i came clean...well i got busted
Oh : but it was talked about...i felt soo damn bad
Oh : she was so hurt....i felt like shit...
Oh : it took her a minute to talk to me again
Oh : almost 2 years
Oh : but we are good friends now..its funny cause, i didn't realize how much she meant to me until it was over
Oh : for me..its all about lost
Oh : and i have lost some really good women in relationships because of this malehood
Oh : and once u lose something close...then u don't really want to lose no more

ME: what was ur excuse? Why did you do it?

Oh : why it happened? i am not sure
Oh its almost a sense of confidence in some aspect for men...it soo weird...but its just selfish really why men cheat
Oh : no other way to describe it...just str8 selfish...wants more than wats infront of us...
Oh : but we learn
Oh : and for wat its worth....we learn hard
Oh : well in my case

ME: ok so, real talk, when's the last time you've been in a serious relationship?

Oh : a year ago...

ME: and now, are you one of those guys thats "not looking for a relationship?

Oh : no not at all
Oh : i def wanna be in one
Oh : i took a year to get right
Oh : and now i am ready
Oh : but nothing serious yet...
Oh : its crazy...like i think my standards are a bit high...
Oh : not trying to sound no way....
Oh i am actually perusing one i think
Oh : but its been hard, she a doe doe
Oh but like some of the girls are beautiful fools...

ME: LOL so by going on mainly LOOKS, don't you think eventually you might get bored?

Oh : EXACTLY!!!!
Oh : which is why i am single now
Oh : its like there intrigue goes away so fast
Oh : I tell people all the time u have to have an interesting way of looking at life
Oh : i try hard to keep u into me..
Oh : but it don't always flow both ways
Oh : thats why its hard to find the right girls
Oh : but, I do believe I have meet a few in my life so far....
Oh : and i have none in my life currently
Oh : don't say much about me....
Oh : but the next time i happen to meet one...wrap me up i think
Oh : not to mention..i am not the walk away and get back together 3 and 4 times person

ME: what do you think is the possibility of you cheating again?

Oh : i have honestly made a conscience decision that I wont....
Oh : i have to start giving things i care about an Honest shot
Oh : and because it doesn't really take much to lose something worth wile...
Oh : i have had my fun, if thats what its called..
Oh : i mean these were not always the standard i held myself too
O h: not saying its a sure fetch thing
Oh : but its a start for me

ME: hmmm that's kool and all ...but lets be realistic, you know that relationship can be hard to maintain

Oh : i know i was in one for 5years

ME: how can you honestly say you won't cheat again?

Oh : well i can honestly say that i don't want to, when it comes down to it....hopefully i will past the test

ME: have you ever been cheated on?

Oh : yeah...

ME: how did that make you feel?

Oh : like shit...
Oh : i am not sure i wanna feel like that again...

ME: so knowing how it feels, why would you want someone else to go though that?

Oh: i don't, a lesson well learned hun

ME: what's you definition of cheating?

Oh : uhmmmmm...anything that involved breaking the trust of the one u love and involved with

ME: so it can range from flirtatious conversation to sex?

Oh : my mentor tells me that in gods eyes..LUSTing is cheating
Oh : exactly
Oh : conversations plant seeds, those leads to....


____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


"Mr. B" a.k.a. Mr. Selfish / The Occasional Cheater

B: All men don't cheat
B: And women cheat just as often
B: In many diff. Ways

ME: ok, but have you ever cheated?

B: Umm sort of
B: I didn't really do anything...and I was weakened...I was drunk, my girl was out of town

ME: did you admit it to your girl?

B: Nah
B: It wasn't worth it

ME: why didn't you think it was worth it?

B: I stopped myself...realized I was wrong and apologized to the other girl and told her how I felt and that I knew I was wrong

ME: if it were the other way around, would you have wanted your girlfriend to tell you?

B: Idk
B: I'm indifferent
B: I would've
B: But I'd wish I didn't know
B: Cause I'm jealous and insecure so I would've thought she was a hoe and never trusted her again

ME: but if you told her, you would've wanted her to forgive you?

B: Yeah

ME: but that wouldn't mean that you're a hoe and she can't trust you right?

B: No

ME: so why the double standard?

B : Cause I'm a guy
B: That's the society we live in

ME: have you ever been cheated on?

B: in an official relationship...
B: Idk
B: I can only assume
B: In dating relationships...yea

ME: even so, how did that make you feel?

B: I was ecstatic...filled with the utmost joy

ME: so the exact opposite

B: yea

ME: what is your definition of cheating?

B: Wen u deceitfully search for some type of emotional or physical pleasure outside of your relationship

ME: so it can range from flirtatious conversation to sex?

B: Yea

ME: knowing how it feels to be cheated on, why would you want someone else to go through that?

B: I wouldn't
B: I think cheating is horrible. And it shows ur true weakness and insecurities. If u know ur promiscuous and know that ur a cheater u shouldn't b in a relationship. But most ppl just cheat cause they want some1 to love them @ home...and they wanna whore out secretly cause the excess attn feeds their insecurities of not desiring themselves.

ME: what about those that don't cheat often, or what about people like you

Brooklyn : Every1 makes mistakes.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yea all men cheat! Most of us won't admit it though. That guy you had this convo with was an idiot, men take that with them to their grave. It's not to be told to another woman...unless the guy was not interested in you.

Nathan said...

I don't think it has anything to do with the male or female gender. It has to with whether or not people are willing to be honest with themselves. Just because someone you're interested in is interested in you too, does not mean you HAVE to fall head over heels in love with them and get into a relationship. Some times it is worth enjoying someones company. Some people are in your life for a reason and a season. We all have to recognize that.

That is what makes people feel like they can/should cheat. They are just not ready to deal with the commitment that comes with relationships, however, they encounter someone that they deem worthy of being in a relationship with. One has to decide whether they are ready to be in a relationship before they identify a specific candidate.

So to answer your question, do ALL men cheat? No. Do all PEOPLE that are not ready to be committed cheat... YES!

X-Phactor said...

Well Honestly Dont women cheat as well? I believe it depends on the experience of the person..."If one wasnt cheated on than they will not cheat until this act was committed against them!"

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