Now, meeting a boyfriend in the club these days is unrealistic. However, there is something about the fact of being approached that in a sense boosts or affirms confidence. It makes us feel good to feel desired and men it makes you feel good to walk away with the deal complete.
Which leads me to this point. "Why is that women, especially black women, have to make themselves approachable?"
To my buppie women out there. You know what I mean right? You say no, and its why you have attitude? You just don't feel like dancing to one song with someone, and its why did you come to the club angry? You got on a fly ass outfit, your hair is done, you know you look good, but the ugliest guy with the one eye and patch is the only guy bold enough to holla??
What is going on here???
Black women are prejudged as being mean shyster hoes. No matter how nice she is, if she is black, many men come to the situation intimidated. They come in not wanting to put in the work to really try to build a rapport for that phone number.
See Exhibit A: This is what a black male posted to his blog.
Q. Do you date women who aren’t black?
A. Almost exclusively. Not because I don’t like black women, but because a.) black women tend not to be attracted to me and b.) most other races are. I love black women, but I’m not gonna break my balls just trying to get the time of day from a black girl when the hot indian girl across the room is asking ME for MY number.....
It’s admittedly frustrating, though, to see my non-black dates being scowled at by black women who would never date me themselves. Oh well.
There is prejudice oozing from this Q/A. How did it become that we get completely ruled out because a few did not run up to you and beg you to put your D_CK in our mouth??? Are men, buppie men too good to approach women anymore? I mean give us a chance. Not every black woman is the same. You want us to chase you? Is it not the universal rule that men should court women? Oh and then we scowl uh? Let me tell you that some folks are not comfortable with interracial dating. RACE is still an ISSUE. However, its most always pointed out when a black woman disapproves. Do you think Indian men like seeing you with their woman?? But they not scowling uh? Of course not, but because one is a evil doer black woman, its highlighted.
Listen to first 5 minutes. Homeboy is rambling:
What is going on in the world? Black women are being demonized! He tells us we need to become more feminine? Oh please! Men need to become more masculine, and stop being scared to approach a woman. What is it that women of other races do that makes them a appear more friendly?? Do you ever stop and think that maybe society makes you think black=evil? Makes you think pink nipples are preferable? And perhaps, just perhaps, these are your issues you project on to us? Perhaps my regular chill face reminds you of your discriminatory practice, or reminds you of yourself, and that is what scares you..
Some men have said that black woman have too many high standards. Oh really? I did not know having a job was so unusual? I mean after all about 130 million people in the US have jobs.
It frustrates me to hear an entire race discounted. As much as I am frustrated with black men, I will never say I would never date them, just because the last few have been shiftless, selfish, and dishonest. Yet they continue to degrade us! What happen to Equal Opportunity?
Do not discount us buppie women.
So how about this: Instead of us making ourselves MORE approachable, how about you men create better approaches?? Are we not worth it? We are quite comparable to all women of all backgrounds. Buppie women are capable of being just as friendly, sexy, and smart as any other woman. Do not be scared. If she is not smiling, perhaps she is waiting for the right man to crack a joke? Or maybe honestly, she may need a drink, so buy her one. If she is with a group of her girls, how about you catch her attention and ask her to step away from her girls so you can chit chat. BET she will do it. If she looks exxxxxxtra fly. Stop look at what you have on and examine if you may be on that level. If she is scowling, look her in the eye, and ask her "What can I do to make you smile?" And if she does not give you the D's (Digits or Draws), you know what EFF her not her entire race, ok?