Thursday, June 19, 2008

HELL DATE!


So I am convinced this shit was some type of evil setup. Recently I met a gentleman while out in DC from another state. (When I met him I was a little tipsy) Nevertheless we had a good 8 minute conversation and as a result he got my 10 digits. We began conversing over the phone a little and I immediately saw some pros and cons with this guy. We had some things in common and the conversation was chill but at times he got preachy. (I will come back to the preachy part) Aside from that everything was cool. Now he kept reiterating how he wanted to see me again before he ended up on my "he was cool but nothing came of it" list. So I was like yeah we will eventually. Then earlier this week he told me that he was coming to DC the next day and he wanted to see me while he was here. So I said sure why not?

So this dude gets here and looks NOTHING like I remember! (DAMNIT CHANDON AND RUM!) Granted he was not unattractive but he was around 5'6" and looked to be around 130 lbs. However, I could work through that. SO we chill and he begins to get on his preachy soapbox. For an hour and a half he talks about how you will never achieve the "American Dream" by filling out a W-2 and how western society sets us up to fail. He then proceeds to talk about how he works for himself and how much money he makes. We discussed how he quit undergrad after freshman year because to him it was a waste of time and it sets you up to fail. I told him I throroughly enjoyed my undergraduate experience. I found out he got an associates degree. He stated that he used to work for a company and make 50K but after taxes he only ended up bringing home 38K and how that frustrated him. He then says that blacks are disillusioned and he does not understand why people are so gun ho to work for other people and give their money back to the government instead of working for themselves and write everything off like he does! Now a lot of what he was saying was valid and insightful but after a while I simply felt like I was being "talked at" instead of "talked to". I told him that I do not think entrepreneurship was for everyone and he said "That's exactly what the MAN wants you to think so they can keep getting your money." So we continued to argue that point.

Then it got deeper when he started saying that "the Bible was all about astrology and dumb white people translated it wrong." So at this point I am irritated because it seems that this guy is taking pride in attacking everything I believe in. He then tells me he brought some DVDs about African theology and asked me if I would like to watch them. I passed.

So it is getting late and I am wondering when this man is going to leave my house because I have to go to work in the morning. So I go upstairs to get some water and when I come back down he is in pajamas! Like pajama pants and shirt with pool balls and pool sticks on them. Earlier that evening he was saying how he wore nothing name brand because that is just supporting the man. I noticed his hard bottom shoes that he liked to walk on the backs of and figured he was not that into fashion. I meant to ask him who made his pajamas but I was too through about the fact that he even had pajamas on and was pulling the covers back on the bed. Here is how the dialouge followed:

Me: What the FUCK are you doing?
Him: Oh I just assumed it was okay if I slept in the bed
Me: Well I guess we shouldn't go around making assumptions huh?
Him: C'mon I traveled all this way to see you.
Me: So you are staying here you have no other plans for coming to the area?
Him: Nope all for you. So you are really not gonna let me sleep next to you?
Me: Nope! but I got some extra blankets you can make a pallet on the floor!

At this point I am thinking this is all my fault! This dude came down here in the middle of the week thinkin he was going to come chill and get some action. I thought he had other plans not just visiting me. I felt kinda bad because when I was leaving to go to work in the morning he had to get the fuck out! But then again why would you drive 5 hours in the middle of the week solely for me and I haven't even given you the "I'm feelin you" yet?

He asked me if he could sit on the bed until I got tired. I was like well I am tired now. He sits on the bed anyway and does a spin ninja type move to lay across my lap. At this point I am so DONE! Like OMG this can NOT be happening to me! So I politely told him to get off of me. He then persisted in trying to touch me and I repeatedly pushed him away.

Him: I thought you were a fun girl! You are a little goody 2 shoes
Me: What you thought if you came down here I was going to give you the panties?
Him: Well I thought I would at least be able to touch you.
Me: Well, you were wrong! Goodnight.

He then proceeded to the floor where he went to sleep. The next morning I was ecstatic about going to work so this all could be over even though I was sleepy as hell from sleeping with one eye open. I politely said goodbye and am still just like WTF man?! I read this one completely wrong. I don't know what was more wrong. The fact that I even let him stay? I mean I felt bad he said he drove all that way to see me. (Which honestly freaked me the hell out.) Or is it more wrong that he came all that way and pretty much manipulated the damn situation?!

11 comments:

The District's Buppie said...

Damn Liquor Goggles gets us every time!

Rich Blackman said...

this was the BEST POST EVER.
i loved every second of it, at your expense.

the designer said...

Crazy!! Sorry you had to go through that lol! I couldn't stop laughing when you said you went upstairs and came back down and he was in his PJs lol.. I can only imagine~!

Anonymous said...

We MUST do better about who we invite into our personal space. You shouldn't have had this ni$$a in your house. And then you let him stay!!!- Poor judgment because he would have been gone when i saw him in those damn pajamas... don't feel sorry for no ni$$a especially a dumb ass like him...and yes liquor makes even T-Pain look good if you drink enough of it ;)

Anonymous said...

#1) This wasnt a date. A date is when you and someone else decide to go out (outside of your house). This was some dude who you obviously didnt know chillin at your crib.

#2)Why did you let some random ass dude over your place?? Sounds like this is 100% your fault and then you write a blog about it? Common sense need to enter into the equation somewhere along the line. I love it how you tried to blame it on alcohol. Alcohol had nothing to do with being a dumb dumb.

Up&Coming Buppie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Adetokunbo said...

Wow, sorry to hear about this. Definitely should have been kicked out after the whole "Bible is really about astrology" nonsense. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but are you serious??! lol
Sorry hun, better luck next time.

Avid Reader said...

Yikes!! Everyone attracts a wierdo once in a while. Keep documenting so we can stay in stitches.


Happy Hunting,

The Avid Reader

Anonymous said...

the bible really is about astrology...step ya enlightenment game up... or are yall happy worshipping white jesus tsk

Anonymous said...

i kept it real, and you couldnt handle it...typical....

Up&Coming Buppie said...

No, it is not that it couldn't be handled. Just didn't deem it worthy to dignify it with a response is more accurate.

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