A few weeks ago I was talking to my brother about an issue with Hit or Miss Guy. I was going on and on about how he had once again pissed me right on off and how I didn't want to deal with him any longer. Now I listen to my bro vent about his girlfriend ALL THE TIME! And I never say ANYTHING! Even though sometimes I disagree with what he is saying I listen to him and give him my honest opinion. But during my random rant suddenly my brother screams "UGH STOP BEING SUCH A GIRL!" I was confused. So I asked him what he meant. He attempted to explain to me that I was overreacting and the dude had a valid excuse for what I was angry about. However, I said I did not care because there is ALWAYS an excuse so I am still mad. My brother than goes on to say that he hates when I go into "girl mode." It reminds him that even though we discuss sports , his sexcapades, and the other random guy things, I am still a woman.
Men get exhausted when we vent. My brother says it is literally exhausting and taxing to listen to and afterwards he personally doesn't even want to talk anymore. It's just a fact of life. Whether it be a friend or a significant other a woman going on and on about her feelings is exhausting for a man. Now I will actively listen to a man talk about issues that are bothering him or just his random stories, particularly if I care about him. But for most guys returning this favor is an extreme chore. My brother says it goes beyond listening to a woman it is about simply accommadating her endless needs. He exclaimed, "Honestly I just think yall are possessed!" Our conversation ended up switching to issues with his girlfriend and how he has began to accommodate certain things she says and does because it keeps her happy and he is learning how to pick his battles.
The Close Confidant (CC) explained to me and my brother that later in life men learn how to shut up and let a woman have their way on certain things by picking their battles. However, many young men have yet to figure this out and it comes with maturity and security within a relationship whether it be a friendship or more. The CC than goes on a slight tangent and says, "See I like to think for myself therefore I will never be married." He tells my brother that being married for a man means that to an extent he can longer think for himself because a woman is going to insist on doing it for him. (I told my brother that if he really wants to someday be in a lasting relationship The CC may not be the best person to listen to. After all he is a 55 year old bachelor who is happy that way. LOL)
My two closest male friends went on to reinforce the fact when you are in a relationship you just have to compromise on everything because women are such emotional beings. Here are some examples that a few guy friends took pleasure in venting to me:
Example 1: My girlfriend sleeps like a toddler. She kicks, takes the covers, and hits me in the middle of the night. Now I used to go and sleep on the floor after I knew she was asleep. However, she would wake up in the middle of the night and ask why I was not in the bed with her and then would come down on the floor and sleep next to me. So now I hold her at night until she goes to sleep because she likes that shit and chances are I stay in the bed and endure her abuse. Now when I wake up in the morning I don't lie in bed. I go into the living room and watch Sports Center. Now she follows me in there and asks why I got out of bed and wants to lay RIGHT ON TOP of me! Like can I ever get any space?! It's never enough!
Example 2: My girlfriend calls me like 8 times a day and honestly I just dont have that much shit to say. I mean we talk EVERYDAY so why must we constantly be on the phone?! So I tell her let me call you back. And she's like whyyyyyyy? Like man because I am watching the game. You act like I aint gonna talk to your ass before bed and like we aint already spoke 5 times today! WTF?! So the next day I wil call her out the blue just to tell her I love her because I know she likes that shit. EXHAUSTING!
Example 3: So my girlfriend goes out of town for the weekend so I make plans with some of my friends. Now she doesn't know many of my friends because we have not been dating for that long. So she calls and I am out clearly at a bar because it is LOUD. So she asks who I am out with. And I say some friends. She's like who? So I'm like man, WHY?! You do not know them anyway so why you want me to run a bunch of names of people you don't even know. Besides can't you hear that it is loud as hell in here?! I am not trying to have a full blown convo right now! Why aren't you somewhere enjoying yourself after all you are out of town. She then slams down the phone and I am like man what is her deal?!
This all made me think, damn are we that hard to figure out and accommodate?! The dudes I spoke with about the matter sounded exhausted. Granted they were for the most part happy in their relationships, they say that there is constantly something you have to do to just shut a woman up.
I don't know. Bups male and female I am curious to hear your thoughts...
Men get exhausted when we vent. My brother says it is literally exhausting and taxing to listen to and afterwards he personally doesn't even want to talk anymore. It's just a fact of life. Whether it be a friend or a significant other a woman going on and on about her feelings is exhausting for a man. Now I will actively listen to a man talk about issues that are bothering him or just his random stories, particularly if I care about him. But for most guys returning this favor is an extreme chore. My brother says it goes beyond listening to a woman it is about simply accommadating her endless needs. He exclaimed, "Honestly I just think yall are possessed!" Our conversation ended up switching to issues with his girlfriend and how he has began to accommodate certain things she says and does because it keeps her happy and he is learning how to pick his battles.
The Close Confidant (CC) explained to me and my brother that later in life men learn how to shut up and let a woman have their way on certain things by picking their battles. However, many young men have yet to figure this out and it comes with maturity and security within a relationship whether it be a friendship or more. The CC than goes on a slight tangent and says, "See I like to think for myself therefore I will never be married." He tells my brother that being married for a man means that to an extent he can longer think for himself because a woman is going to insist on doing it for him. (I told my brother that if he really wants to someday be in a lasting relationship The CC may not be the best person to listen to. After all he is a 55 year old bachelor who is happy that way. LOL)
My two closest male friends went on to reinforce the fact when you are in a relationship you just have to compromise on everything because women are such emotional beings. Here are some examples that a few guy friends took pleasure in venting to me:
Example 1: My girlfriend sleeps like a toddler. She kicks, takes the covers, and hits me in the middle of the night. Now I used to go and sleep on the floor after I knew she was asleep. However, she would wake up in the middle of the night and ask why I was not in the bed with her and then would come down on the floor and sleep next to me. So now I hold her at night until she goes to sleep because she likes that shit and chances are I stay in the bed and endure her abuse. Now when I wake up in the morning I don't lie in bed. I go into the living room and watch Sports Center. Now she follows me in there and asks why I got out of bed and wants to lay RIGHT ON TOP of me! Like can I ever get any space?! It's never enough!
Example 2: My girlfriend calls me like 8 times a day and honestly I just dont have that much shit to say. I mean we talk EVERYDAY so why must we constantly be on the phone?! So I tell her let me call you back. And she's like whyyyyyyy? Like man because I am watching the game. You act like I aint gonna talk to your ass before bed and like we aint already spoke 5 times today! WTF?! So the next day I wil call her out the blue just to tell her I love her because I know she likes that shit. EXHAUSTING!
Example 3: So my girlfriend goes out of town for the weekend so I make plans with some of my friends. Now she doesn't know many of my friends because we have not been dating for that long. So she calls and I am out clearly at a bar because it is LOUD. So she asks who I am out with. And I say some friends. She's like who? So I'm like man, WHY?! You do not know them anyway so why you want me to run a bunch of names of people you don't even know. Besides can't you hear that it is loud as hell in here?! I am not trying to have a full blown convo right now! Why aren't you somewhere enjoying yourself after all you are out of town. She then slams down the phone and I am like man what is her deal?!
This all made me think, damn are we that hard to figure out and accommodate?! The dudes I spoke with about the matter sounded exhausted. Granted they were for the most part happy in their relationships, they say that there is constantly something you have to do to just shut a woman up.
I don't know. Bups male and female I am curious to hear your thoughts...
1 comment:
Since I've taken upon understanding women (seriously), I've learned that many relationships fail because men and women communicate differently (duh, right?) But I feel that men really mess things up because they don't set up the frame for the relationship properly from the beginning and that's what leads to failed communication. Now before the haters hate, I just wanna state that this isn't 100% the reason for failed relationships. But when some men start pursuing or dating a girl, they stop actin like men and act like girls. Try to see them all the time, take them out all the time, call them all the time, they just become "all the time". And girls love this shit, because that's what they do. So of course the two get together. Then the guy gets comfortable and wants to switch back to guy mode. Well now the girl notices he doesn't call all the time, he doesn't want to hang all the time, he's anti-all the time now. If guys would show more restraint in the beginning, it would do wonders down the road. If I like a girl, I ain't callin her more than 2 times a week. Set the frame up that I'm a busy person and she isn't going to suck up all my time. Of course when we start dating, I might bump it up to 3...maybe 4 if somethin important happened. There are a lot more things, but I gotta get ready for work.
Post a Comment
Keep it real! What do you think?