Monday, October 27, 2008

My Night in Jail Part 2

SEE Part 1

Approximately, three hours into us waiting, Husband Homeboy's shows up. With a Chick.

Wifey of course is pissed. Homeboy pissed. They go at it.

Wifey: "Where you been? all this time??"
Homeboy: The Police told me to come back at this time.
Wifey: Where is his car?
Homeboy : Parked.
Chick:Parked.

PAUSE: CHICK should MYOB. She caught a mean attitude like the situation had anything to do with her.

PLAY. Husband Homeboy bickers a bit. Stops talking to Wife, goes to the counter to bails husband out. The Clerk processes the $75 BAIL.

PAUSE. EXCUSE ME CLERK. WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR 3 Hours trying to bail Husband out!!

Wifey proceeds to become incredible hulk mad and yells from the top of her lungs: " EXCUSE ME. I AM HIS WIFE !!! YOU NOT ABOUT TO ACT LIKE I HAVE NOT BEEN WAITING HERE FOR MY HUSBAND AND IGNORE ME" really she was referring to Husband Homeboy

PAUSE: woah woah woah now! Where did that come from?

PLAY. Police officers in station.
"WAIT a Minute now! You not fitten to act all crazy in here. We will arrest you for Disturbing the Peace. Calm that ish down"

PAUSE. Now, What am I doing? Laughing MY A$$ OFF!

Anyway, things of course calm down. Even after the Police threats. Wifey is not calm. She is highly pissed. She is pissed at the fact Husband Homeboy acting like he saved the dang on day, and she sat here and waited.

CLERK: Says to Wifey, Husband Homeboy got Husband stuff, that Husband Gave to him, so Husband Homeboy has a right to continue to hold it.

Pause: OK Whatever.

CLERK then says: He will be right out after we run his Prints.

PAUSE:Run his prints?? WTF. The same prints process that I saw took 2 days! We have been waiting hours!! I am READY to GO.


PLAY. So Husband Homeboy and Chick proceed to go wait in the other side of waiting area. Entire time Husband Homeboy and Wifey are quietly poppin off at each other.

The amusement of Jail rubs off me quickly. We had been waiting too damn long, just to be waiting longer for some damn prints. I asked wifey, take me home.

Wifey is like she doesn't feel comfortable leaving Husband Keys and Stuff with Husband homeboy. Ok gotcha. I understand.

An hour passes.

Now I am getting pissy, because Husband Homeboy should go ask for an update from the CLERK. I mean there was only like 2 people in jail that night.



Wifey is still lamenting in her pissedness. She walks up to CLERK to ask,
"As his wife do I not have a right to my husband's stuff? I do not feel that Husband Homeboy should have my husbands keys and wallet. I mean I am on the car insurance, not Husband Homeboy."

CLERK: "There is really nothing we can do. Your husband gave him the keys. I can go back and ask him what he wants to do"

Pause: And Gay people want to get married because?? You really dont get a right to much in marriage these days.
Pause Again: GO back clerk and speed up this damn process while you at it.

So in the meanwhile, Wifey comes upon Genius revelation that works in her favor. She drove her car. Husband drove his car, but proceeded to get arrested. Husband gets out, he will not be able to drive his car, because he lacks license. Husband Homeboy a$ed out, unless Wifey does drive, since Wifey on insurance.

CLERK Returns, She said the Husband said :"Go ahead and go home wifey. I will take friends home."

Pause: HOLD DA EFF UP. NAW WE AINT JUST WAIT HERE 4 HOURS, CAUSE U CALLED AND BEG YOUR WIFE FOR NOTHING. GO THE HAYLE HOME?? OOO HAYLE NAW.

Wifey: Well he cannot drive them home because of his license. And I do not have his keys, so I guess we gotta get the SHYt TOWED.

Wifey proceeds to give Husband Homeboy evil look. Pulls out triple AAA card.

Pause: It is looking like Husband Homeboy better just give up the keys.


So Wifey proceeds to act like she going to get the car towed. We continue to wait.

Husband Homeboy and Chick walks up to CLerk.

Husband Homeboy: "I would like to check his things in"

Officer in the back: "Wait aint his wife right there?"

Clerk: "I guess he doesn't want her to have it"

Pause: Woow. These people are trippen. Are you really going to check his ish?

Husband Homeboy, checks in Husband stuff. Then proceeds to bounce. Apparently someone comes and picks him up.

Wifey: "I told Husband his friend is crudy."

Pause: Friend is crudy. Could wait on his homeboy to get out? Then call a ride?

Finally, Husband gets out of Jail. Of course Wifey is pissy. This drama was too much. I was not even all that mad because I could finally get home. The Drama was over, right?

WRONG!!!



Husband and Wifey had both cars there. Husband has a tricked out car, Impala, tints, RIMS.

Wifey told her BFF to drive his car.

Husband had a hissy fit!

Husband : "Naw eff dat, you drive my car WIFEY!! I rather get the shyt towed then have BFF drive"

He is jumping up and down in the middle of a street in DC at 3AM mind you!! Hissy fit over his lackluster a$$ impala. (BUPPIE DON'T BTW)

Wifey: "Husband, are you saying your car is more important than mind??!!!"

They go back and forth for 5 more minutes before Wifey Angrily Screams in the night "FINE!!!".

AGAIn this is 3:05 AM around the corner from the Popos!

She Drives his car. BFF drives hers.

Finally I am home.

End of Story...

Message: Avoid Jail period. Both in person and in MARRIAGE.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Question: Why homeboy was holding s0 tight to the keys? Couldnt he just have gave them to the wife w/out the popos involved?

The Tenant said...

Niggas, smh

The District's Buppie said...

He was holding tight cus Homeboy and Wifey dislike each other...

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