VIVA OBAMA!!

Wow! talk about going after the Hispanic and/or Latino vote!!!

"AY Carumba"

Dang HC come harder!

It's Hard out here for a (Male) Buppie

Dear Buppie,

Hey, just to be clear, one of you owes me $230 million. He said that I could not prove, conclusively, that giraffes do not exist. However, since I was able to provide compelling evidence, I will simply have to make due with a grant.

[FYI, You are a$$ed out-DC Buppie]

I would just like to say that it is hard out there for a...Black man. Here is why. Villany!!!!

It would seem that all Black men are villians in relationships. You don't believe me? Well, consider the following:

1) Whenever there are stats regarding the proportion of good to bad Black men, the negative ALWAYS possesses the overwhelming majority.

2) Black men that are scoundrels in relationships are more..."entertaining" then Black men that are willing to compromise and so those worthy of a Black woman tend to be overlooked.

3) Black woman complain that there are not enough Black men out there, but that last time I looked Black women were not actually looking for a good man, they were looking for a marketable trophy, complete with loyalty, funds, and bragging rights built into the framework.

4) I hardly ever hear about the faults that Black women have from each other. Put differently, one always hears about the faults of a Black man from is female counterpart. And, Black men will admit their faults (just not on anyone else's time table), but Black women wish to remain faultless.

5) According to Star Wars, one's focus determines one's reality. If Black women continue to villianize men, they will not be able to see past their own assumptions. The one-word summary for this is called, PREJUDICE.

6) For every Black man that has hurt a Black woman, please believe that there are several Black women that have hurt a few Black men.

Consider and respond to these points. And, I received a grant for a miniscule $100, 000. And, there is a correction; I was Ayn Randing, not Amy Whinehousing. More William David Thoreau [You mean Henry David Thoreau? Point taken nonetheless. -DC Buppie] and less Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Regards,

John Smith

---

I'll let the comments respond to this one.......

Like a Virgin

Dear Buppie--

I have been seeing this guy for a few months and we are really feeling each other. We are both attractive, young professionals with advanced degrees and making serious dough. There is only one thing that sets us apart: his appetite for sex. I want to wait. Based on experience, sex too soon has ruined relationships for me and I want this to last. He has a "butt buddy" from college who I have met and because I do not view her as a threat, I am okay if he sees her on occassions to satisfy his physical needs. Is this healthy? I am pretty certian that I am giving him everything else that he needs minus the physical. Please help me sort this out. Thanks in advance!

Like a Virgin

LAV,

You treadin on pretty thin ice with this one. I think we as women, and hell even men for that matter, under estimate the power of sex. Like let's look at it like this yes you all may really be connecting but what if he is really connecting with this person on a sexual level. If someone you are feeling is having sex with someone else, in my opinion she is a threat. I don't care if you know her, think she is cool, and even if you know their history. Do you know the whole story about their relationship? Even if she isn't a "threat" to you for reasons you are thinking of she can be a threat to you in a lot of other ways that you may not have thought about. She is giving him something he needs that you are not giving him. He depends on her for something that you are not willing to give. She is fulfilling him in a way that you are not willing to.

Personally, I do not think your stance on not having sex is wrong. If that's what you want to do right now by all means stay in your stance. However, if you and this person plan to really get serious he needs to wait on you. He should care about you that much to curve his sexual appetite because all he wants to do is get close to YOU. He has no interest in sleeping with anyone else because HE JUST WANTS YOU! If you truly think this guy is special and want it to last it is a little absurd to me as to why him still seeing someone else sexually is acceptable to you just because you do not want to do it. Now if you all are still in the early getting to know each other stage of the relationship a man may go and see an old fling. But if yall are seriously interested in one another and you truly want this to last you need to re-evaluate the situation and discuss how you two want to proceed with him.

I mean if you are cool with it hey, what can I say? But I honestly don't think it is setting the framework for a healthy relationship in the long run.

Hilary on the State of the Black Union

It may seem a bit biased on Buppie for Barack. Honestly, this is due to the a lot of the interesting points his candidacy raises for the black community and the media coverage. His articles are more interesting, IMO.

However:

I love Hilary Clinton. I love Barack Obama. The purpose is that we all make informed decisions.

Side note:
All i know is.... One of them better end up President. Seriously if McCain gets elected,... I'm going back to Africa. Rallying an army and we fitten to take the US over with spears, and rocks. Or better yet we will blow out of trajectory devices seeds of economic dis-function, and health scares. We will abolish the ability for you to own land, get a good education. We will end BET. We might even give the U.S AIDS back. I mean thats were it rightfully belongs???
Random thoughts for a Non Partisan Buppie...LOL

Ku Klux Klan Endorses Obama ....P.S. It's not true

Someone sent this to me today, it amused me, so I thought I'd share:





KENTUCKY - USA - Imperial Wizard, Ronald Edwards has stated that, "anything is better than Hillary Clinton."

"Grand Turk Cletus Monroe has also been very vocal about the election and has donated thousands of dollars to Obama's election fund."


FYI: This article is FAKE (the pic has Photoshop written all over it and come on Cletus? who names their child that? *no offense to the Cletus' out there* So don't get all sensitive Cletus! LOL).


Source: http://www.dailysquib.co.uk/?c=117&a=1227

It's Hard Out There For a (female) Buppie

Recently a fellow buppie (who we shall call JC) and I were having a conversation about the pros and cons of being a young buppie (black urban professional) trying to maintain relationships and just dating in general. During the coarse of the conversation, JC made the following statement "I feel sorry for you females". The natural Barbra Walters in me wanted to know more, so I asked him to further explain.

JC went on to state that, he feels sorry for young black college educated professional women BECAUSE we are extra picky and our options are already limited. So before I got all offended I was like 'WHY?' 'WHAT CHU MEAN?'..here were his main points


Point A. If the guy is not a college graduate, then he automatically loses points and is basically out of the picture. So that's about 70% of the black male population that's of the running. JC claims that the only way a female buppie will date a guy that didn't go to college is if, A) She knew him from the 'old neighborhood' or B) He's doing well financially.

But seriously, is it so wrong that we want a college educated black man? I mean just like men tend to want the beauty AND the brains or a lady in the streets and a freak in the bed ..can't we want a man with a college diploma? I mean come on, is a BA/BS really that much to ask for as a basic requirement? Our standards have to start somewhere Gat Dammit! LOL.

Point B. Female buppies out number Male buppies. So the competition is fierce. So of that 30% Females buppies have to choose from, there are 3 different types of Male buppies.



12% Mr. Selfish / The Occasional Cheater The one that is in a relationship but wants to 'have his cake and eat it too'. Now Mr. Selfish doesn't REALLY want to be in a relationship but he's been messing with shorty for a while so he figures why not? I'm not getting any younger? shorty's not so bad and she's all about ME! After all, he can still do him on the side.


10% Mr. Bachelor / The Play Boy This is the one who is pretty much content with the Bachelor life and has no major interest in settling down into a relationship any time soon. He dates different females here and there but never gets too serious. One thing about this guy, he's honest, well for the most part. He basically lets the female know upfront he occasionally 'dates' others and he's not really looking to settle down any time soon. His main excuse usually is that he's too focused on his career and doesn't really have time to make such a commitment.


8% Mr. Right? / The Good Guy The guy who actually WANTS to be in a relationship. The one that has shis sh*t together and is READY to settle down in a relationship. Now many of these men are like good parking spaces, TAKEN! (corny I know, but u get the point). Sometimes he might be taken by a female that does NOT know how to appreciate him, but this brotha is in it for the long hall and he's willing to stick with female until she dumps him or he has an epiphany realizes he deserves better. The ones that are single, sometimes females are not that into them and think of them as "too nice" or "too soft" or "moving too fast" or the "sex is wack"...the excuses go on. This is how females end up missing out on Mr. Right, too picky!



Now I have to admit, though I might not agree with EVERYTHING JC said, he DID make a few good points.


It had me thinking, are female Buppies really too picky? If so, is that really such a bad thing?


Why does it seem like some guys are just NEVER satisfied? Is it because they just have too many options? Don't wanna miss out on anything?


Let the debate begin!

Obama's is a "Mack Daddy"

OMG, I can't believe this sermon came from a man of God, SMH. I guess his God must be The Clintons.


"Black women are 'Playa Lovas'"

"I don't have to compromise with nan one a u nappy headed people"

..::shakes my damn head::

I feel like Slapping a B@#%h today

Dear Buppie,

Can you help me? Someone recently told me (with the funds to back it up) that they would give me $23 million if I could prove that giraffes do not exist. I am thoroughly convinced that I can, but any more suggestions would be nice.

Also, I have recently learned that two of my associates are in a relationship, with the young man physically abusing the young woman. I could intervene immediately, but I have not thus far. I have not because so many other people are aware of the situation (actual friends) and I would not want to be overstepping my bounds. IF I intervene now, it will be violent with the loss of a limb or two and a mild inability to speak on account of a...sore throat. What should I do?

Solider

Dear Solider,

Giraffes Don't Exist - The best video clips are right here

Giraffes?? 23 Million dollars? Please stop the Amy Winehousing. Take you’re a$$ to rehab!!

On to the pertinent thing:

So this is a pretty interesting situation. Know your role! I’m glad you recognized what it in this situation. An associate, not your friend, is getting the 5 fingers to the face. Mhmf…
So here is what I think you should do:

Mind your own business.

If her friends, the true folks who should have a vested interest in her are not intervening, then that’s on them. Home girl is not your friend you do not have enough of a relationship to truly make an impact. The most I would do is whoever the common friend you have, speak with that person. If that person doesn’t make moves, hey, you did your best as an associate.

~*~ The District’s Buppie POV ~*~

She Hate Me

Dear Buppie,


She hates me. I am not sure why and I do not know what I did. In fact, I was sure that I had done everything correctly. The turning point came when I left the country to be with family. When I came back, I was met with a very stiff, cold, and unyielding response. I thought about her everyday and went to so far as to purchase souvenirs for her. Now, she is surrounded by people who only seem to agitate her disdain for me and all attempts at communication are met with harsh, vile, and or no response.


Now, I have been told that I could do better. But, I am not sure that I want to. This one is a keeper in my opinion..but maybe I am wrong.


I feel like I am in the twilight zone and the joke is, and has been for the last month, on me. Some advice would be nice.

- She Hate Me

SHM,

I hate to be the bearer of news that you do not want to hear but you can do better DUH! If somebody doesn't even care enough to keep it real with you as to why they choose to no longer have a relationship, which you assumed was healthy, then they are not worth your time. I mean maybe she met someone when you went away. Did you all talk as much while you were out of the country? It all sounds a little fishy to me.

And now you say she surrounds herself with people who are not your advocates. Do you have a secret life SHM? Did she find out while you were gone that you were a hoe who has slept with several of her friends? (J/K or maybe not if it is true.) But anyway eff the haters and get to the root of your problem. If she won't answer your calls, and your attempts to see her are futile don't turn into a stalker. Just realize she is not the one and move on. If you are honestly a good guy this chick aint worth your time!

"If he can deal with me as his wife... he can surely be President!"

Can we say 100% SISTAH??? I want to be be Michelle Obama when I grow up!!!

She is a great representation of well educated woman with opinions!!
I love it!

Partnership vs Passion

As I look back on Valentine's Day this year it makes me think about being a single black woman out here. Of course you have no choice to think about that because there are people showing affection all around you. However, my V-Day was quite relaxing and enlightening. I read a column by a journalist named Laurie Godley entitled the Miriam Piece. She emphasized that women, particularly women who are getting to be "middle aged" and are single need to stop being so preoccupied with passion and think more about partnership. She thinks that women are too picky and obsessed with the thought of meeting a prince charming and are not practical. She believes that ladies are nit picky and often write off a perfectly good man off of little flaws or because they do not fit into their tiny box of percection. Godley, who is now 41 years old and single with a son, looks back on many men she dated and just never called again because they didn't "knock her socks off." She says she looks back and thinks that if she had to do it all over again she may have given more of those fellas a chance because all in all they were good guys. It is her belief that having a mate, especially as you get older, needs to be more about partnership. What can each party bring to the table? The passion is not a priority to her because most people do not realize that when you are married you barely have time to be passionate if you are both professional people and if you have children. So to her it is more about reliability and honesty among other things. Call me a hopeless romantic, but this was truly disheartening to me. I mean nothing in this world is perfect so I do not excpect my mate to be but man I want PASSION! I want to be in love!

This made me think about a lot of my buppie friends and some of their gripes about men and what they think about settling down. Keep in mind these are not necessarily any of my personal views FELLAS. Just some things that I have observed or heard.

1) He has kids! Personally I think at this point in our lives, black women you may need to be understanding to the fact that your first child may not be your mate's first child. There are a lot of professional black women that I know will write a man off based on the fact that he already has a kid(s). So this is something that may take a bit of work but I think if you honestly love someone and he is a good man this should not be a deciding factor.

2) I love him but I do not want to take on his bad credit. Okay so yes I am guilty. I have made a comment before about FICO scores but hey no one is perfect and if a man is working on his situation as far as credit goes I understand. However, I do know someone very close to me that married a man who has completely different financial priorities than her so it puts a serious strain on their relationship. All I am saying is make sure you aren't about to marry "big spender who pays no bills on time." Credit says a lot about a person's financial habits. Many people run their credit up in school and it haunts them for years after. I understand hell I did some damage to mine in my college years. However it is about learning from it, fixing it and not making the same bad mistakes. So I definitely understand a woman or a man's reservations on this.

3) He just isn't about his business. This is a comment that I have heard in regards to a man and his working situation. One of my buppie friends is always talking about how her significant other is always saying he wants to do big things professionally but he is not taking strides to do it. She said she would not mind being the bread winner but c'mon you have a college degree get a real job. I think, personally, if you are in love with someone you should help to encourage and assist this person in their professional goals. Black women tend to gnag and criticize instead of encourage and cultivate. However this has a flipside fo sho! If he has no motivation to get out of his rut and stays talkin but there is no action I think it may need to be re-examined and understood that things need to change

4) He is too soft. I need a man with more of a spine! All I have to say to this one is be careful what you wish for ladies. I understand just be careful.

So are we as black women too picky? Who knows?! It is totally subjective. One of my sorors said to me on V-Day, "I am not sad about being alone today. If there is no man in my life right now at least I am not wasting my time settling just in the spirit of the day. The right one just hasn't come along yet." This was inspiration for me to do some self evaluation and to pamper myself for V-Day. This is so when he does come along he will get a confident and whole woman who is satisfied with herself and ready!

Hope everyone had a GREAT Valentine's Day!

Im looking for Booty & Beauty

Happy Valentine's Day my dear readers!

Check this vid out:





So I ask you, What Ever Happened to Black Love?

Run's House...the new Cosby Show??

I am sure that many of the readers of this blog have to be familiar with the reality TV Show "Run's House" featuring the black family lives of Reverend Run of Run DMC.-- A rapper.--

I watched it here and there. Never an entire season through, however many of my friends and associates comment and call this show is the new "Cosby show".

I caught a repeat episode two days ago. I could not help but draw a parallel of this show vs. the Cosby’s.

The Cosby show featured a large family living in a Row home/ Brownstone in Brooklyn NY. The father was a Doctor, the mother a lawyer. All the children were educated to some degree and disciplined. They were not poor, but the Cosby’s were not balling out of control. The appeared apart of the middle class, however their tastes were of that caliber of a seasoned buppie couple.

Flash Forward: 2 decades.

Run's House, features a Rapper turned Reverend w/o a church and his 6 children. The mother is a house wife. His first 3 children have another mother. His children are bought cars for graduating from high school. He kids are asking for "nice things" i.e. cars, video games, clothes. They almost always get it. The children are well connected because of their father and uncle’s presence, and thus get opportunities dropped into their hands.

So…

Is it just a coincidence that the majority of the youth displays high interest in entertainment type of careers? Everywhere they look, it’s the thing to do? Look at Soulja Boy?? [IF I see him in the streets, IMA SUPAMAN his A$] Where the shows on TV are that showcase needed careers like doctors and lawyers of color? Professional degrees? When did that go out of style? At this point, 20 years from now we are going to have a hella a lot of rappers and singers, but we all are going to be dying of the damn flu and diabetes, and all be in jail. (Sounds like what is going on today?!..)

I hate to say it, but these shows are a reflection of our society. Shows like Run House’s influence the youth the same way the Cosby show influenced me as a child. I mean, if I was talented in singing and dancing, I would do a jig. BUT, I bet I would be studying music in COLLEGE, because the Cosby show influenced me to want to be educated.

While, I do watch these shows for their entertainment value, I worry for those who cannot differentiate that this is entertainment and not an online career fair because it appears fly, flashy and easy!

What happened? What happened is this: My conjecture is as the black excel in the late 70s and 80s their children where afforded more opportunity. Some Parents slipped. You spoiled your children, and I continue to see spoiled lazy ass black folks seeking to do what they believe is easy with big payoffs.i.e rapping, acting, being on you tube doing a jig…

With that being said: Regrettably, in drawing similarity to what was going on in each generation, issues of the black family, and raising children, respectively ….

Run’s House is the new Cosby show.

What are we bups left to do?

Black Maybe

Black Maybe- situations of people of color and because you are that color you endure obstacles and opposition, not all the time from other nationalities. A lot of the time it comes from your own kind or maybe even your own mind.
-Common

So this is kind of a follow up to The District Buppie's post on "The Changing Black Middle Class". Recently as I was talkin to some of my friends, some who are bups and some who are not, we were discussing the true definition of "middle class." How much money makes you a middle class citizen. Of course this made me delve in a little farther and do some further research about this topic and of course race became a factor.

45% of Black Americans born in 1960 do worst than their parents according to John Morton, the Managing Director of the Pew Charitable Trust. The major contributing factor to this is the change in family structure. 2/3 of Black families are headed by women without husbands. I went on to listen to podcasts and got some other point of views. One mother stated that when she was growing up college was not mandatory to be successful and have a decent job. However, she has a hardworking son with a family and they are struggling to make it due to the rising cost of living and the wages staying the same. It was also asked does mid 50's salary make you solid middle class? Ellis Coast a columnist for Newsweek said that 50K pretty much just makes you able to stay afloat.

Now here is the part that really got me. While listening to an episode of NPR's talk of the Nation a white doctor called and explained how his parents were not wealthy when he was growing up but they still had the means to get him through college and medical school. He went on to say that many Blacks can not do this because they have no Accumulated Wealth. He believes that Blacks never had the chance to attain this due to slavery and believes that reparations can rectify the situation. It is true that blacks who make the same as whites do not have the same reserves for wealth and according to one study blacks have 8% of the wealth of whites even if they are making the same amount of money. And blacks who are considered middle class are

A) First generation doing so and possibly do not have a tight grasp on their job so it can change at any time

OR

B) Two working class poor people combined making middle class money. (However much that is?)

Another issue that was brought up that alters middle class status among blacks is incarceration. Even if incarcerated after being released it is very difficult to find decent work and harder to achieve the American Dream. A friend of mind honestly believes, after being in jail 3 times, that slanging is the only way he can make the money he wants. I argue with him all the time that that is BS but hey what do you do? He said he has tried it the honest way and was evicted and almost got his car re-po'ed because he could not afford all of his expenses. But with his current lifestyle he is supporting his family and has a house. (I mean what about taxes tho?!) That's just him!

All of this made me think about Common's song Black Maybe. It is sad for me to believe that we as blacks are so far behind. Granted some of us are out here living the American Dream many are out here struggling due to no fault of their own. Just because the sh*t is difficult. Maybe the good doctor was right. REPARATIONS FOR EVERYONE! Yeah right then Black America will look like that Dave Chapelle skit. I know one thing I am very driven to do better than my parents and that is mostly due to the drive they have instilled in me. I haven't made it yet, hence my name Up&Coming, however, I am doing pretty decent being that I have been out of school for 2 years and already switched jobs to get a SIGNIFICANT pay increase. But many people who go to school are still struggling. College makes very little difference these days. Let's face it, it is hard to move from one class to another. And if you are reading this thinking no it's not consider yourself lucky! Education is the best way to narrow the gap but still is it an equal shot to the top. How many of your parents could pay for you to get through undergrad, grad, law school, med school, etc and consider themselves middle class like the good doctor mentioned earlier in this post?

How does Black America climb out of this hole and reach the promise land???

If You're White, You're Alright!

So a fellow buppie who I am quite close to has started seeing a really nice guy. He is considerate, honest, patient, attentive, sweet, and white. After being around him a few times I have gotten to know him and he is a great guy. He is funny and down even though he is whiter than white. It's so funny because one day we were watching a movie and in the scene people were camping out in their backyard. My friend and I were like who really camps out in the backyard? He looked up kind of puzzled like you all never camped out in the back yard when you were kids? We both looked up like dawg we're black! And on top of that we are from the hood. It wasn't really safe. So there are cultural differences but he is a lot of fun and great to be around. And I feel like I am seeing him too. He never lets either of us pay when we go to eat and when I stay at my fellow buppie's house he often brings us breakfast. Perfect man!

Here is my problem. It's like after hearing these stories told from my fellow buppie people get into this state like "Yeah girl that's how white men are! You need to keep him. Aint no black man gonna treat you as good as a he will" Even my fellow buppie has said that he is the most considerate man she has ever dated. But she honestly is having trouble getting past the fact that he is white. Here is my issue: A good man is a good man PERIOD! They do not come in colors! WTF?! I am certainly not against dating outside my race but I am not about to believe that if I want quality in a man I have to! That's a bunch of bs. I mean let's face it there are some triflin black men out there. Just like there are some white, asian, indian, or whatever other nationality you can think of, out there that are trifling as well.

All this positive reinforcement that my fellow buppie is getting is literally making me sick. It seems to me she is not getting it because she found a nice guy but because he is WHITE! Now if he was beating her ass all these same people would be screaming white devil. BLACK WOMEN DON'T SETTLE! I know I'm going to find a good man. Granted I am bias, which I think I have right to be, because I do want a black man. However, I am not discriminating as long as you love Jesus, are easy on the eyes, have a 401K, a good Fico score, and know how to seriously treat a woman, holla. Don't care what race you are, K?! Okay enough with my personal ad these are just some of my thoughts.

Busy Like a Beeyatch

Dear Buppie,

I, also being a bUP, am interested in your opinion on the following issue:I am currently in a relationship, which used to be brilliant until I found myself working about 60 hours a week, and going to the gym 5-6 days a week (including weekends) and still needing ME/ entrepreneurial aspiration time. Now it seems as though I do not have enough time for this person, and I am unsure what to do because they are a good person, but so am I! And i want to become a better person (which i am working on). Since i am in my late twenties, is it better to CAN all the self development and flag her down? Or should i keep my eyes on the prize? 50 Cent once said,"you hustlin backwards if you chasin a chick...stupid, chase paper they come with the sh*t." Your thoughts...

- Busy

Busy,

This is kind of a difficult one because only you know the true answer to this dilemma. I mean in every relationship a person needs "me" time. Time when they work on their personal development or just time that they spend doing things alone like working out perhaps. Now the question is do you miss your girl when you are not with her. Clearly you have accepted the fact that you don't see each other a lot but do you even care? It seems like you do but not enough to really do something about it and if that is the case that's FINE! At times we realize after some time has passed that we are not ready to really put the work that is actually needed into a relationship. Especially when something is thrown into the equation that wasn't originally there. For you that is more hours on the job. It is important however, that you are honest with your girl and most importantly yourself about what you want. Trust me I have been in your girl's shoes before and it aint fun. So you owe it to her to be honest with her about how you feel. And don't take 4 months to do it either! (Sorry that was personal)

So the frank answer is this. I would make a pros and cons list. Pros and cons of your relationship. Do some relationship inventory. If you find this woman is truly the woman for you based on this assessment than slow down partna and give your woman the acknowledgement she deserves. But if you find that you are just not ready to take that leap, unsure if she is the one, or just care more about yourself more right now than hey....it's only fair to cut it short. However, if it is purely for the reason that you don't have the time and you are more worried about yourself right now, make sure you are not losing a good woman who is right for you out of selfishness. Because when you are ready she may not be there waiting. Hope this helps a little....

P.S. I wouldn't model too much of my life after the words of 50 cent. Granted he is paid I mean..... just doesn't seem like a good look to me.

- Up&Coming's POV

---

Busy,

First of all, Busy quoting 50 cent for relationship parallels is a NO-NO!! LMAO!!

I can really relate to what you are trying to do! I am on the same track of developing and investing in my self. All this focus on yourself makes you selfish, you know that right?

Its ok dude, you’re selfish! Nothing wrong with it. I am too, and I will be the first to admit it! We all need a period to develop ourselves. Being a Buppie means you’re evolution in its self.

The thing is you are in a relationship. Key word here is relate! If your girlie boo cannot relate to what you are trying to do, there is a problem. Is she even bothered by your time away? She one or the other of below:

A. She has done her self development stage or in the midst as you are. (then she should relate) OR

B. She has not hit the spot in her life yet (then she cannot relate).

If she is bothered then you got to keep it real. You cannot not devote time into this relationship to ensure it grows, I am sure she noticed anyway. This was not the right time for you all.

On the other side:
The only way in my eyes for this relationship to prosper is if you all have an understanding that this separate growth is leading to a stronger "WE". Is everything you are working on going to strengthen the relationship? For example, you are working 60 hours for many reasons. Is one of the reasons/ motivators/ fruits of your labor the thought that your hard work now will give you more money to be more secure in the future with hopes of being a breadwinner in a relationship or be more comfortable in your career to devote time to a relationship? Or looking sexy for your girl is some of the reason you are working out so much? If you can not draw out of everything you are doing today some relationship of that development to your relationship, then there is a problem. If she is not a factor today, then she will not be a factor tomorrow! You feel me?

If you find that she is a factor, and she is able to relate to your development, then here is what I want you to do:

Find one activity that is for your self development and hers. You say you are into Entrepreneurship. Well business requires reading! Won’t you and your girlie boo read a book together? Meet up and discuss your ideas. Or if you are going to the gym a lot, one or twice a month why you all don’t take an exercise class together? Trust me she will love it because she is spending time with you and growing with you.

P.S Let’s analyze this 50cent quote again:

50 Cent once said,” you hustlin backwards if you chasin a chick...stupid, chase paper they come with the sh*t."

If she wasn’t chasing you broke, but chases you when you got paper, is she chasing you or the paper?

~*~ The District’s Buppie P.O.V~*~

Friends......How Many of us Have Them?........Friends

Dear Buppie

I've had a best friend for over 10 years now, but it seems that lately we have been drifting apart. I am entering new phases of my life and being introduced to new social circles. It seems that we just don't have as much in common anymore. Is it worth my while to try to invest time and energy into salvaging this relationship, or should I allow time to rift us farther apart?

-Rifting in Rochester

Rifting in Rochester,

Wow, I know this situation all too well. I went through the same thing with a friend of mine once I went away to college. We were so tight but after some time I found we no longer had the same interests and honestly, it was a chore to be around her. Some people are in your life for a season and some for a lifetime. Don't be afraid to count your losses with a seasonal person. It doesn't mean that you all will never speak again but it does mean that you have probably outgrown one another.

Keep in touch every once in a while but I wouldn't desperately try to salvage something that naturally changed. Now if you did something to hurt the relationship that would be a different story. Me and my friend talk occasionally and I visit her when I am home. And she blames me for us not being as close. But ask yourself this, is she putting forth the same effort to salvage the friendship as you are? I know my friend wasn't so I stopped caring as much and accepted it for what it was.

- Just the Up&Coming's POV

Obama and the Black Vote

Recently I listened to a podcast by NPR Talk of the Nation on Obama and the Black Vote. (If anyone out there is a podcast listener I suggest downloading 1-31-08) The forum was held at Morgan University and the panelsist were excellent. Here are some highlights I thought were insightful, controversial, and/or just worth sharing.

1. Voting based on your interest and not your race
Many Blacks are voting for Obama because of his race not knowing any of the issues he represents or his resume (which I must say is quite extinsive. Don't sleep!) And many Blacks who are voting for Obama it is assumed that they are doing so because he is black. Not gonna lie it helps but there are a few states where he does not have the majority of the black votes and states where he has a nice amount of the white vote. I personally believe it is important to remember your beliefs and interests when you vote and not to be fixated on color or name for that matter. Many blacks are voting for Clinton simply based on name recognition and that is not enough. A lot of women are voting for Clinton simply because she is a women. I think it is important for all voters regardless of color and race to DO YOUR RESEARCH!

2. The Hip Hop Generation vs. the Civil Rights Generation
Many people in the C.R. generation are concerned with the what's really going to happen if Obama actually gets the presidency. Many people of the C.R. generation don't want to pass the torch, hold resentment towards Obama, believe he is uppity and hasn't paid his dues. "He thinks he is too good with is Ivy League education" "We like the Clinton. We know they are for Black folk and she knows what she is doing". WOW! For real?! God forbid there is a qualified, conscious, and able BLACK man to run for president. Did the world stop turning? MLK was leading the Civil Rights Movement with a doctorate at 26 and everyone was okay with that! One woman from the C.R. generation brought up a great point. There are many Barak Obama's in our communities that just don't get recognition. We are proud of these young men so why are some Blacks particularly older ones anti-Obama.
Then there is the H.H. generation which I believe often forget about how far we have come and because are so far removed do not fully understand how big of a feat it is for Obama to have even gotten this far. The further black generations get from slavery we do not perceive issues as black issues anymore just issues. Racism isn't as apparent say some. The question was also posed can young blacks really make a difference because we never had to fight for anything so we are not motivated enough to do it even in this election where more youth and blacks are heavily engaged. I believe young black Americans are contributing and have been. Vote or die, the immense support for Russell Simmons voting forums are just a few examples of how young black voters are being cultivated.

3. Why can't we be proud to be Black?!
A Morgan university student put it very eloquently. Blacks can publicly support white candidates and praise them for what they are doing until they die. But if blacks do this for a BLACK candidate, HOLD ON AMERICA! They tryin to take over. It was the same way during the Black Power Movement. It scared White America shitless. The question was also posed, will an abundance of black advocacy for Obama hurt him in the long run? Do believe that the conversations blacks are having about this in private vs. in public are different due to the fact that some don't want to come off too supportive because that looks as if we are just planning a mass takeover.

4. Why should I feel obligated to vote for the black candidate? Why shouldn't you just feel obligated to vote PERIOD?!
So it was said in S. Carolina people were going into hair salons and asking black women if they are voting based on gender or race? What the f*ck is that? One of the panelist posted the question, "Are they going to white barbershops and asking white men if they are voting based upon gender or race?" No they are not and they probably don't plan to. Why does it matter as long as we vote! This is actually a triumphant election for blacks because for the first time a lot of us are torn about who we are going to vote for. To have two candidates on the Democratic ticket that are looked so highly upon by the black community is part of the dreams that people who came before us had. SO why do so many blacks feel that we all have to line up and follow suit and do the same thing?

5. Who played the race card first?
Before Bill went and erupted the race issue, yes it was more than apparent that Obama was black (duh) but it wasn't much bigger of a deal than Hillary being a woman. So no one is playing the race card, to me, in Obama's campaign. But let's not fake the funk, race plays a huge part and is the undertone of American culture in everything. A white democrat called in to NPR yesterday and said he is voting Republican because he won't vote for a woman or a black man. There's your proof! I mean c'mon! And then blacks have the nerve to come along and say he is not black enough or he is a suck up. What a bunch of sh*t. He is just as black as any other noticeable black person whether he wants to be perceived that way or not.

These are just a couple of my thoughts. If you can check out the podcast! There are many podcasts that tell you about the candidates and the issues. Don't be too lazy to get truly educated people!

Its a Family Affaaaaaaaaaair!

Dear Buppie,

What should you do if you find out your best friend's boyfriend is cheating with her sister?

-BFF

So let me get this straight? People really lead this Jerry Springer type of life? People really suck.
Anyway the question you pose is touchy but solvable. So depending on how you roll is how you can set this up. I see 3 options.

A. Strait out of Compton Style: You can just plan tell your best friend. Sound simple huh? Well, it's not snitching. Its doing what friends should do, look out.

B. 50 Cent vs. The Game Style: You could go to the boyfriend and tell him to stop. Or the sister. Try to make peace. YAAAAAAWN.

C. Madea Family Reunion style: The most interesting and time consuming way, is to set up the boyfriend and sister so that you best friend just falls into and sees it for herself. This does not guarantee your best friend will break up though she may find out and forgive this trifling dude, or bang out or proceed to get banged out by her sister.

Either way it important you clear out this situation. Why have this issue on your conscious? What is the worst that could happen? Your not the cheater. If you friend gets mad at you, proceed to plan 3. Plan 2 I’m definitely not a fan of (Wanksta) . That’s not your business, your best friend is.

Just the District’s Buppie’s POV.

An Opinion about Obama.. via Anonymous Source

I am practically seething with all of the black people, especially so called "intelligent", "educated", black people giving a million tired excuses of why they won't vote for Barack Obama and will vote for a Hillary Clinton:
1. He's not ready/He's not experienced.
Man please. You have the top 3 Democratic candidates with 1 Senate term under their belt. Hillary as the First Lady as experienced? Not one executive decision is made being as the first lady. That's like Stedman recommending a book, endorsing a candidate, or having his own show...SO WHAT.
2. White America is not ready for a Black president.
Whaaa? Was White America ready for slavery to end? Giving us the right to vote? Desegregation of our society? When did black people ever let white people dictate when and where we were getting our just due, our break? We've always stepped up and demanded what we wanted, or we were either hitting the streets and tearing up some stuff, escaping, marching, or picketing. White America is ready for a Black President because Barack Obama is the right man for President, PERIOD.
Besides, that never stopped anyone from voting for Jesse Jackson, a man with NO political experience AT ALL from almost snatching the Democratic nomination in 1984, and coming darn close again in 1988 20 YEARS AGO.
3. Barack is half black and half white, so he's not really black anyway.
I should backsmack anyone who has ever thought that. Ever heard of the one drop rule? It has not only been a social standard for WHO is black, but it also upheld the constitution in keeping us from suing a white person over personal property. No black person ever refers to another black person as "biracial". You black. You might have another heritage in your lineage, but this country as well as any other sees you as black, PERIOD. Lame excuse people.
4. I don't know what issues Barack stands for.
When the heck has that ever prevented black folk from voting for a black candidate, really? I guess now, but the main people saying that couldn't tell you anything about Hillary's or John Edward's platform either. Please stop fronting.
5. All he did was give that one speech.
How many great people have defined their lives, the scope of human history, and changed the world in a speech? Moses, Jesus, Paul, Martin Luther, Frederick Douglas, Abraham Lincoln, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, Winston Churchill, Martin Luther King, Jr., John F. Kennedy, Malcolm X, Ronald Reagan, Nelson Mandela, Jesse Jackson, and Jim Valvano all have changed the course of history of the world and the hearts of billions of men and women in societies since the beginning of time with a speech.
That is the purpose of a rally. A person speaks, and it prepares all to act in relation to the spirit of what is spoken. That is why we go to church, not to just hear our pastor blather, but to refresh God in our hearts and spurn us to take up God's will in our lives.
So save all that ying yang about that speech.
6. If all of those white people are supporting him, he must be in their back pocket.
Save the conspiracy theory home skillet. He's liked because he comes at a time where a person that looks exactly like them lied to their face (two in a row, if you include Bill Clinton with Monica and of course Bush with Iraq ), and flat out said what no politician would admit: We have two Americas, blue and red, black and white. It was not publicly said, and on top of that proposed that we ACTUALLY DO something about it, not find more ways to be divided and not come together despite our differences. Noble concept, and one to be championed. That's JFK, FDR, and Abe Lincoln material. So they were feeling it, just like I was and you should too. His legislative work has been indicative of this as well, including his Fuel Standard work with President Bush. Check the resume, it shines.
THE REAL REASON BLACK PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO VOTE FOR OBAMA IS THAT THEY ARE AFRAID THAT HE'LL WIN, AND:
1.WE'LL HAVE NO MORE EXCUSES LEFT.
We won't be able to say, " America is racist", "I cannot get a break because I'm black", and all other random excuses many blacks make for not achieving anything in their lives.
2. IF SOCIETY IS LEFT UNCHANGED AFTER HIS PRESIDENCY WE'LL LOSE HOPE.
If a black man becomes President, I honestly believe many black people feel that all of the world's problems should come to an end. No more crack selling, no more black on black crime, no more baby mama drama and dead beat daddies, no more people on welfare and on the chow line, no more wineoes, no more police brutality, no more DWB, no more predatory loans, no more ghettos, no more racism period, no more Middle east unrest, just everybody singing cumbaya. To some degree, I think a lot of white people, especially liberal, feel that way too, that's why they are all up on him like that.
THAT'S RIDICULOUS. If it happened, he'd be one of the greatest people that ever lived, but that's way too much pressure to put on one man. DANG! I feel that people are really not ready for the world to get better anyway. It's like that father you never knew but won't make a relationship with because you don't want to be let down. It's unfair and let that go. Barack will make a great President, but he won't solve all of the world's problems, nor can he solve all of black peoples' problems either.
3. SO CALLED "EDUCATED" BLACK PEOPLE WON'T BE SO SPECIAL ANYMORE BECAUSE THE PLAYING FIELD WILL BE LEVELED.
Absolutely hate more than anything else. The above 2 reasons were largely a poor disadvantaged black person's inner fear about Barack. Many of number 2 and all of this one is specifically tailored to you bourgeois folks that actually like being the only black person (or one of a very few) in your medical school, your law school, your master's program, your Ph.D. program, your high fallutin Fortune 500 Company, your faculty at your prestigious institution.
You feel deep inside being a talented 10th will become a talented population. As much as you detest and look down at your disadvantaged brothers and sisters, and claim they need to "get a job", "get an education", "pull themselves up from their own bootstraps", and "stop being so ignorant", you like them where they are. You are the one that has that shady feeling in your belly when a new black person is hired because you don't want them to screw it up for you. Yeah you...I'm talking about you. You know who you are. You think deep inside, Keishas, Darnells, Shequans are going to get theirs now that Barack is in office, and you won't be so special anymore.
See you like racism. You probably are like Clarence Thomas, the man that benefited from Affirmative Action but now you got yours, nobody else can get in too, so you vote against Affirmative Action. Yeah, claim you got your opportunity on merit. No, you got it on the backs of our ancestors that had to fight for you to get that job. Now you don't want a world where everyone has an equal opportunity. Well, actually neither do poor blacks either, see 1.
3. IF HE MESSES IT UP, WE'RE ALL SCREWED.
Back in the day blacks with degrees could do nothing but shine shoes outside the company. Now we're in them, making decisions, even CEOs like my man Stanley O'Neal, the first black American to take the helm of a major Wall Street firm. That brother completely mismanaged the company, like many others who mismanaged banks and cause losing equity because of security back subprime loans. Now, those that are in the know are afraid that a black man cannot ever get that opportunity to be THE MAN at a major institution again.
Not only that, if Barack messes it up, there will be a backlash on all of black America. "You guys had your chance to run the free world, and you blew it."
Sorry Charlie, Barack is one man. You can't use the logic for yourself as far as getting ahead, but lose it for this man. George Bush completely botched America 's standing in the world, but I don't see anyone afraid to elect another white man. So come off of it.
4. BLACK WOMEN FEEL SORRY FOR HILLARY BEING CHEATED ON BY THE REAL FIRST BLACK PRESIDENT.
This is so dumb, I cannot address with words, but it's the truth for a lot of black people, who felt Bill was the first Black President, and sistas especially would feel like they were vindicating a woman that was done wrong by another brotha.
5. BLACKS LIKE TO BE DIFFERENT FROM WHITES AND BARACK WILL BREAK DOWN BARRIERS WE LIKE HAVING UP.
Keep it real people. You hate it when anything we do gets imitated. It is instantly uncool. Most blacks love that we have our own thing, our own culture. Having Barack win means for a lot of people America will have more of a shared consciousness. We'll actually have to come together and squash some beef to make this country cooperative. I don't completely believe this concept, but I'm down for it. Once again, Black people really do like racism.
For all of you doubters out there this is what you really need to ask yourselves:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
That's all the brotha is trying to do. So vote for him, drop the excuses, and support the first viable Black Candidate. Our ancestors demand that we do so.

Hilary vs. Obama

Interesting Satire! This election is going to be of the HOOK! Are you registered to vote?